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#176 (253/486) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(Theseus-) guilty says my computer realizes that it's running a celeron and tries to commit suicide |
#224117 (251/323) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Scopes13mtg> Anybody know a good place to buy Russian singles online?
<Scopes13mtg> edit: To clarify, I am looking for Magic cards. |
#130097 (252/396) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+openfly> i did a self evaluation once.
<+openfly> i don't think they'll ever ask for one again.
<+openfly> i had fucking charts in it. |
#74903 (252/614) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<caddis> the hardest thing about buying a macbook is telling your parents you are gayComment: server: irc.ruxcon.org.au, #ozphreak
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#68954 (252/446) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MrZodiac> oh man
<MrZodiac> this is so awkward
<MrZodiac> This girl who I boink now and again is in an open relationship with a dude I knew in college
<MrZodiac> This past weekend she and I made merry, and I threw ropey jets of jism all over her and some of the furnature we were making merry on
<MrZodiac> And I used a towel to clean her and the furnature off
<MrZodiac> So the guy sends me a myspace IM today asking me which towel I used
<MrZodiac> ugh
<MrZodiac> I feel weirdComment: #bifemunix on EFnet
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#62999 (251/427) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pr3d4t0r> loke__: I long for the days when Mexico had electoral fraud, Russia lacked freedom, and the US was a beacon of hope instead of the other way around. |
#56417 (252/420) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Beeble_> skip you're cute
<skippy_> i'm 5ft tall
<skippy_> i have to be cute
<skippy_> or live under a bridge
<skippy_> and eat goats
<skippy_> i went with cute
<Beeble_> good choice
<skippy_> i'm beginning to rethink that
<skippy_> chicks don't like cute guys
<skippy_> they like bad guys
<skippy_> "have you seen any goats around?"
<skippy_> that would be a great pickup line |
#55915 (252/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Kederaji: It's the anniversary of Zelda today.
Lasukie: I know
Lasukie: I wore green.
Lasukie: and never walked on an angle
Kederaji: LOL
Kederaji: did you hop?
Kederaji: and sing the song?
Lasukie: yes, about a half hour after I woke up
Kederaji: You will never get laid.
Lasukie: I know -.- |
#54993 (253/463) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< DMM> that reminds me of my favourite sorting algorithm
< DMM> rearrange the objects randomly using a quantum random number generator, then test to see if they are sorted. If not, destroy the universe.
< DMM> in linear time you will produce an ensemble of universes in which the objects are sorted
< zem> ooh
< zem> truly a universal sorting algorithm |
#30359 (252/432) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< godsmoke> you know ... the FreeBSD devil is called beastie
< godsmoke> it has a name
< Gepeto> Ok
< Gepeto> now I do ;)
< godsmoke> as in ...
< godsmoke> "beastie" ... pronounce that
< godsmoke> slowly
< Gepeto> I see
< godsmoke> B.S.D
< Gepeto> They were on "leastie" when they thought that up |
#30049 (252/454) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lepper> bob would you have sex with your mom if she were hot?
<LkTrout1> Lepper's family tree is a straight line. |
#14690 (252/419) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Zedd: i fucking hate kids.
IronHelix: They won't shut up. Ever.
Zedd: Fucking annoying brats. They serve no practical purpose other than taking up valuable resources.
IronHelix: They scream when they're happy. They scream when they're scared. They scream when you toss them in the garbage disposal. It never ends! |
#1498 (252/360) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<steef> i feel sorry for kids today, when they reminisce on their childhood, they will have songs by britney spears and backstreet boys |
#246478 (250/316) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<celeste> that is my least favorite thing in the whole world
<ilanbg> what?
<celeste> that everytime i try to be intimidating or mean you just think it's cute!
<ilanbg> dude, how did you think calling me a "meany butt" could be intimidating or mean |
#151082 (251/477) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MotoToad> so, anyone wanna guess what a tornado sounds like?
<MotoToad> I was like 10 blocks from the one last night that hit the Georgia Dome.
<bmatt> mt, did you get to see it?
<MotoToad> no, didn't even know what it was when it was happening
<MotoToad> just sat there smoking a cigar thinking "damn, that train is hauling ass for being downtown"
<Dezmo> thats a mild storm in TX or OK
<Dezmo> but atl shits its collective pants
<MotoToad> dez, that's because there are things in Atlanta worth money :P |
#64515 (251/407) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LexMortis> At the oslo airport was one of the led scrolling info signs and it said some stuff about eTickets and instead of "please" they used "pls"
<LexMortis> in 10 years its prolly gonna be "hi2u! if u hv eticket then pls go 2 eticket counter kthxbye" |
#56199 (251/419) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
madskz: dude i keep typing my password instead of my username for gmail
madskz: so frickin annoying!!
khaos: lol
khaos: wat's ur gmail username anyway?
madskz: tr7321
madskz: FUCK |
#54648 (251/465) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TnT> In primary school, I carved up my dictionary so it could fit a gameboy
<TnT> and I would sneak in a few Tetris games during class.
<Avatar> <TnT>: are you shitting me?
<Avatar> you carved up a dictionary to fit a gameboy?
<TnT> Yep
<Avatar> you are the craziest man alive.
<TnT> I was soooo hoping someone else in the class would do the same
<TnT> so we could multiplayer Tetris
<TnT> and look like we're reading the dictionary
<TnT> but alas
<TnT> no one was game enough :( |
#53290 (251/409) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Theropissed> wtf
<Theropissed> its like every nation that lost in world war 2 is fucked up
<Theropissed> Germany, Japan....italy even
<Theropissed> nasty italian porn where this dude stuffed his head into some girls vagina
<MavethTheAce> That was russian
<Theropissed> ....
<Theropissed> whats sad is
<Theropissed> you corrected me on that |
#40755 (251/397) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Crispy> New Studies show that an American's attention span is |
#38197 (251/341) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fennec> gumby_jd: I know. A "you have been drafted" spam scam! :)
<vAE86> Fennec: that's so funny, and it'd prolly work
<@Scoth> Fennec: The sad thing is it'd probably work
<@Scoth> Yeah
<@Scoth> Just a simple "You have been drafted, call this number to confirm and get flight arrangements" and see how many call
<vAE86> all you'd have to say, is call 1800 4 usarmy, for details on how to get ahold of your recruiter and tell him you've been drafted.
<vAE86> those evil recruiters would suck them right up
<@Scoth> Haha. That'd be so evil. The caller thinks they've been drafted, the recruiter things someone is volunteering, no one would be the wiser until later
<vAE86> until it was beyond hope
<@Scoth> *fade into a scene in Iraq, two soldiers chatting* "So, why'd you join?" "I got drafted. Stupid Bush." "What? There is no draft." "What? I got an e-mail..." "Oh, that's a scam. Haha!" "Crap.." |
#34730 (251/439) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SubLimeR> thank god for neighbors
<SubLimeR> i was watching tv a few hours earlier and i fell asleep
<SubLimeR> the kids came home from school and i had the door locked
<SubLimeR> and i didn't hear it because i'm a really heavy sleeper, and i wake up and i yell "OMG WHERE ARE THE KIDS?!"
<SubLimeR> so i call next door to ask if they've seen them and my buddy's wife says, "yeah dipshit you locked your god damn kids out"Comment: ah the simple joys of parenting
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#34529 (251/475) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kenn> This one girl... she asked me what brand my PC was
<Kenn> when she saw it
<Kenn> and I'm like, it's custom, I built it
<Kenn> she didn't believe me
<Kenn> and when she finally did
<Kenn> She called me a computer geekComment: #geekissues
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#21966 (251/426) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tuned> you're just stupid, please get hit by a car full of bees. |
#21746 (251/394) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<spectre> fear, frank is one of power rangers.
<spectre> the pink one.
<Frank> spec shut up. I used to be red but my mum washed it at a too high temperature and it faded :( |
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