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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..92939495969798..596Next> |
#4247 (263/474) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!? |
#2061 (263/451) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<|shark|> if a guy took a home pregnancy test
<|shark|> and it turned out positive
<|shark|> what does that mean?
<Merl> shark.. go see a doctor man ;-) |
#356 (263/455) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Rapture> Tsk, it's [new processors] as bad as penis comparisons, really.
<rejs> but penises don't double in performance every 18 months... |
#93 (263/538) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Mootar> what was god thinking when he made my ass sweat? |
#301451 (262/422) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<git> i got a 'honk if you love jesus' bumper sticker on my car
<git> every time someone honks i flip them the bird |
#300288 (262/422) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<c|oneman> did you ever meet this person that was so cheerful
<c|oneman> you've said to yourself
<c|oneman> I think this person would maintain the same face even when being fisted anally
<Urz> I don't believe I've ever thought those same words, no |
#294828 (262/388) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<PurityOfEssence> I was at the gym, and I was looking at the distance left: 1km, 500m, 250m, 125m ..
<PurityOfEssence> this is how all mathmo's nightmares go
<PurityOfEssence> a fear of infinite sums diverging
<PurityOfEssence> you'll never get there, just keep getting half way closer
<PurityOfEssence> damn zeno |
#210938 (262/424) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<ddubb> if there is no local area ID found, drop the load data.
<ddubb> or, in code form:
<ddubb> if (!getLAid()) dropLoad();
<ddubb> line 525 of software that ships tomorrow.
<ddubb> my work here is done. |
#81440 (262/502) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
< ipspoon> so last night i had this weird dream
< ipspoon> that like my friends sister was mad coming on to me
< ipspoon> and like she said I could put it in the back
< ipspoon> so i went over there so to speak, and i was having issue getting it in. like I couldn't find the hole
< ipspoon> next, i did what seemed perfectly logical in the dream
< ipspoon> i reached down and pulled off her penis (?!). It was attached with a little suction cup at the balls end.
< ipspoon> anyhow the anus was on the bottom, a little bit behind the head
< ipspoon> so i pulled it apart with my fingers, put my dick in, and re-attached it to the girl
< ipspoon> then fucked her brains out.
<+\x90> ... what the FUCK |
#57886 (262/434) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Una> billions and billions of years from now, when the universe ends in the big crunch, I dont think anythings going to matter anymore
<plantlife> great pun |
#33457 (262/446) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<Ethel> Actually, if we're talking about Spam, I kept a tin of Spam all the way through university. For my 21st birthday, a group of friends and I ceremonially openned it in the EE&E common room and had Spam, ketchup and white bread sandwiches
<Matt> and then puked your little guts up?
<Ethel> The only thing we'd forgotten was a knife to cut the Spam, so we used a protractor instead.
<Matt> Ethel: hardcore engineers
<Ethel> This adventure was reprised at my wedding reception
<Clive> Ethel: You fed people spam at your wedding reception?
<Ethel> Clive: no, I nipped to the loo after the starter and returned to discover that my cutlery had been replaced with a geometry set and that I was being served Spam, white bread and Tesco Value ketchup.
<Ethel> I was touched
<Clive> You were touched while still in the loo, or when you got back to the main room?
<Clive> Surely it's against the norms of etiquette to touch the groom at a wedding?
<Ethel> Clive: now that would be telling |
#30997 (262/470) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
* miss_m00 stares with bovine interest at the channel...
<NitaGurrl> that was udderly disgusting
<Gideon1> Is this joke gonna be milked to death?
<cuteboy23> I thought it was amoosing |
#30570 (262/490) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<DJ-Pyro> The average person contains 5 to 25 pounds of waste build up in their colon. This leads to being overweight, colon cancer, deadly toxins and parasite build up.
<Lippizanr> wow!
<DJ-Pyro> "Approximately 90% of all disease and discomfort is related to an unclean colon."
<Lippizanr> imagine that!
<Lippizanr> sign me up!
<DJ-Pyro> aparently "Drooling While Sleeping" is caused by an unclean colon
<DJ-Pyro> http://www.shadysports.com/colon/
<DJ-Pyro> I'd totally buy from a company hosted at shadysports.com
<Lippizanr> dry lips during the day?
<Lippizanr> and damp lips at night?
<DJ-Pyro> heh
<Lippizanr> it has EXTREME POWER PLUS.
<DJ-Pyro> oh shi
<Lippizanr> exactly.
<triple6> 5 to 25 POUNDS?! of waste build up?
<triple6> dude, that's a small child
<triple6> and rather unlikely
<DJ-Pyro> well that sure would explain the cries of help coming from my ass |
#27214 (262/416) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<banuaba> nick, do you think a baby could eat another baby?
<nick> if it was hungry enough, sure
<nick> why?
<banuaba> dunno
<banuaba> just trying to plan my day |
#21042 (263/441) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<jbroome> i will be assilimated
<YanceySlide> Or something.
<jbroome> spelled correctly
<YanceySlide> Being assilimated sounds like something that happens in prison.
<jbroome> that would be assmutilated
<YanceySlide> Point. |
#15574 (262/397) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
[Join] n0t_4cc3pt4bl3 (hurry-now@ip121.cleveland4.oh.pub-ip.psi.net)
<WD_40> your nick is not acceptable.
<n0t_4cc3pt4bl3> indeed |
#10758 (262/414) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
Gr8Hamster: what's the thing I type to see the commands the ftp can do?
Jeff: ?
Gr8Hamster: there was a thing I thought that you could do that would show the commands you could do with something.....
Jeff: ?
Gr8Hamster: nevermind
Jeff: dude, it's a question mark.... type a question mark :-D
Gr8Hamster: oh.. OH! :( |
#3630 (262/395) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<blazemore> omg i love this song
<blazemore> Now playing: Unknown Artist - Track 2 @ 128 Kbps. (0:47/3:24)
<Javi> blazemore: yeah, that's a bad ass song |
#948 (262/412) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(jesdynf) I want an emulator that, every time you try to load a game, there's a 6% chance it pops up a dialog that says "It's not loading! Tap the A button to blow the dust out." |
#283 (262/473) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<GreenJelly> omg this lisa chick and me are gonna get married
<GreenJelly> her turnoffs are Arrogant Guys, S&M, and Big Dicks
<GreenJelly> IM SO IN |
#306924 (260/402) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<hmcd> dude like
<hmcd> the hilight of my day
<hmcd> was spinning my rainbow-ass umbrella
<hmcd> and shouting HEY LOOK I'M A MAC LOADING LOADING LOADING
<@recon> Have you ever considered suicide? |
#103191 (261/569) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
23:31 < avoozl> hmm there is a disk failing in my machine
23:31 < avoozl> going klunk klunk every half an hour
00:01 < avoozl> the bad news is that the disk is really dying
00:02 < avoozl> the good news is that i cannot find any mount points/raid entrys/lvms that actually _use_ that disk |
#56274 (261/401) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<guyadams[serious]> where do you live teloch
<Teloch> NC.
<guyadams[serious]> North korea?
<guyadams[serious]> or north carolina
<Teloch> Korea starts with a "K", in case you didn't see that. |
#48237 (261/483) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
(@kismet): so i don't wanna hear anything in here about women and pms.
(@kismet): period.
(iknietjij): (@kismet): period.
(iknietjij): :X
*** kismet sets mode: +b *!*iknietjij@*.lounging.on.EnterTheGame.ComComment: #etg @ irc.enterthegame.com
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#45404 (261/399) ↑Funny ↓Boring ⚐Flag
<theProject> anyways, is it just me, or is badget badger one infinite loop?
<LoneGamer> badger badger?
<LoneGamer> it's always been an infinite loop
<theProject> MORONS
<LoneGamer> the badger badger soccer/football is an infinite loop with a counter
<theProject> bloody bleeping hell, someone linked me to it and told me "check out the ending, it's really funny"
<theProject> so i sat there for ten minutes
<LoneGamer> it's times like this i wish there were a rofl smilie |
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