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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..93949596979899..596Next> |
#34997 (261/479) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<avorax> Homeland Security™, 9/11™, and September 11™ are all registered trademarks of the Republican National Committee. All rights reserved. |
#32042 (261/425) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kurt> :P
<Kurt> when I die, that's all I want on my grave stone
<Kurt> :P
<gumby_jd> :/
<Helleshin> somehow I'm not surprised
<Kurt> and maybe "owned" really tiny in the corner |
#31301 (261/443) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Biggs`> eek
<+Biggs`> according to kWeather, it's raining
* +Biggs` looks outside
<+Biggs`> IT DOES NOT LIE!! |
#4441 (261/442) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Euri> They should make an idiot mode. Whenever you try to alter something you shouldn't, a big smily shiny thing would come out of the computer and momentarily distract the silly person doing something naughty, and the computer would then pick itself up and fly out the window to safety. |
#96 (261/529) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<VIVI> Xbox already has the following games:
<VIVI> Microsoft Word
<VIVI> Microsoft Excel
<VIVI> Solitaire |
#297160 (259/333) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< MYOB> Borders' website just died entirely on me in the middle of a satisfaction survey
< expensivelesbian> ha ha
< expensivelesbian> "how would you rate our website?"
< expensivelesbian> on a scale of 1 to 404Comment: freenode
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#213368 (260/524) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<FoolsLove> <Skinny_Tom_Superpop> so i click download?
<FoolsLove> <FoolsLove> yes.
<FoolsLove> <Skinny_Tom_Superpop> so do i click downlaod?
<FoolsLove> <FoolsLove> yes
<FoolsLove> <Skinny_Tom_Superpop> are you sure i click download?
<FoolsLove> <FoolsLove> yes
<FoolsLove> <Skinny_Tom_Superpop> i clicked close
<FoolsLove> After I stopped rofling, I told him he had to go through one of the links to download it, and after I gave him a link to the post, he kept asking if he was supposed to click it.
<FoolsLove> I finally told him "No, don't click it"
<FoolsLove> and he said "I clicked it" |
#190128 (260/548) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<steven> Ahruman: brainfuck is as esoteric as i have gotten
<steven> i wrote a speech synthesizer in brainfuck once
<steven> it worked better than Alex... but i lost the code one day
<astrange> you wrote a speech synthesizer in 8-bit fixed-point?
<Ahruman> I wrote a fish in BASIC one, and it was ___this big___, but it got away.Comment: #ubuntu
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#184963 (260/360) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Moozh> my co-worker is making giant penis monsters on the spore character generator
<Moozh> this is the best job
<Zyla> WHY IS IT ALWAYS COCKS
<Zyla> GIVE MAN A MEDIUM TO CREATE
<Zyla> AND THE FIRST THING
<Zyla> COCKS
<Zyla> the washington monument
<Zyla> bullets
<Zyla> rockets
<Zyla> ALL COCKS
<agwho> what was the apollo mission
<agwho> if not the chance to create giant cocks |
#110375 (259/477) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[thom] I'm going to order one of those MIND erasing kits...
[xexyz] a bong, thom? |
#85388 (260/398) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Sean: cause you see more deer on the nuke station's property
Sean: they know there is no danger within the fence
Aaron: Can those ones talk?
Sean: well, its been there 30 somethign years
Sean: i'm sure they've figured it out
Aaron: Haha. You'll have to ask one.
Sean: well most places deer run and hide at the sight of a car or person
Sean: here they'll stand on the curb and eat grass while construction workers are working and cars are going by
Sean: with no cover or anything
Aaron: Ah. Someone should give them something to fear...
Sean: they have nothing, they found a wolf on site once, and it was shot
Aaron: They've built weapons?! |
#79451 (260/400) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[@TheWickerMan] I'd wear white ipod headphones and hook it up to my shit walkman
[@TheWickerMan] then I would walk through the ghetto and look at all these people gathering around like they're going to jack me
[@TheWickerMan] that's when I pulled out the walkman
[@TheWickerMan] and they'd take pity on me...some guy even offered me a buck... |
#76609 (260/502) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<John8520> I play mexican checkers
<zashi> John8520, you hide coke in the pieces and smuggle them onto the other side of the board? |
#61152 (260/430) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kosh> we have a bug that occurs on the 31st of a month
<kosh> so once a month we get a bug report
<kosh> it gets assigned to a developer within 24 hours
<kosh> who then fiddles for a bit before marking it "unable to reproduce" |
#45237 (260/390) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
systm0verl0rd: i don't use 128bit encription, its unsecure. i use 127bit, so if anyone ever cracks it, my passwords will always be one character off.
storm-shadow: i hope to God you're joking. |
#44056 (260/440) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(idler) bear with me
(QFoundation) want me to call animal control? |
#34585 (259/487) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(@septor) I should play some splinter cell pt now
(@Galaddin) wtf? just checked the top 40 for this weeks pop songs, it's like exactly the same as when i checked 3 months ago
(@septor) bash.org mods probably run the listComment: So true
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#30978 (260/454) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Kaelic> What would you buy for a woman?
<Raven> hmm?
<Raven> Me? For a woman?
<Raven> well
<Raven> I can come up with two possible answers cause I am clueless in the subject... either something common like flowers, or, well, new netcard or 512 Mb memory stick :>
<Kaelic> I doubt she would be too thrilled to get a new 512mb mem stick, "just to say I love you" :p
<OWK> "I love you so much 512mb could not hold the words..." |
#18382 (260/449) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Fembot> smoking is how hardcore procrastonators commit suicide |
#10910 (260/432) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over. |
#8583 (260/450) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sugar> if superman and batman got into a fight, who would win?
<muffins> well, superman wears his undies on the outside...batman wears his on his head
<muffins> tough call |
#6107 (260/420) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<#seattle/weezel> This End-User License is an agreement between Microsoft Corporation (hereafter referred to as "Microsoft") and you, the end-user (hereafter referred to as "our bitch"). |
#5508 (260/507) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[ric]> fucking dicks
<[ric]> we have a huge flat screen LCD display in out presentation room
<[ric]> it's worth about £10,000
<[ric]> and now it has "It is safe to switch off your computer" burn into the screen
<roded> hehe
<nakkew> LOL
<Object> hehe
<nakkew> thank god it wasnt a pr0n site burnt into the screen
<nakkew> wouldnt look good for customers |
#379 (260/470) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Ash> Anybody can get a girlfriend, just like anybody can get a job. Most likely he has a "minimum wage" girlfriend. |
#308135 (260/286) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
sammy: Okay..being a mod is like playing Sims because you have all this power...you create a world for your people...you try to make it safe...happy...you monitor it to stop problems...you check their needs and try to meet them...but no matter what you do, sooner or later people are going to stand around waving their arms and yelling illegibly about something you've done wrong.
<TheBeeSingsWithMalice> And then you start herding them into the pool and taking out the ladders... |
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