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#304516 (259/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sebas> When I was working as an orderpicker, I had to get some assorted terrycloth towels. "Terrycloth" in Dutch is "badstof", and both that and "assorted" get abbreviated, so on my list it said I needed 5 "bad ass towels". |
#300712 (259/453) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DragonFogel> Fun fact: Right now, there is more public support in the US for legalizing marijuana than there is for the Republican Party. |
#295355 (259/377) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
NewClear4: did you win the argument?
ccmods: From the perspective that I was correct, yes. From the perspective that arguing with a 13 year old kid whose voice was cracking, no. |
#69532 (259/449) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<clifgriffin> Women idolize a level of beauty only achievable through Photoshop. |
#69178 (259/389) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GreyKnight> Hey, I just won the lottery in *Spain* this time!!
<GreyKnight> and they're e-mailing me from an Italian address...
<GreyKnight> and targeting an Irishman who they think is American
<GreyKnight> It's a proper international scam |
#61630 (259/431) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Squibby> our old CEO's wife had business cards printed out
<Squibby> CEE
<Squibby> Chief Executive of Everything
<Squibby> and whens she first told me what it meant
<Squibby> I laughed
<Squibby> and she didn't appreciate it because she was dead serious. |
#60332 (259/501) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gorg> im 6'5"
<Gorg> ladies call me the gentle giant
<moses> ladies call me the genital giant |
#50384 (259/435) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gpstratomaster> yea, but i make 15.63 an hour and i'm not complaining...
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> I make approximately 3425 an hour, but our currency is devalued by unfair trade restrictions, and so i am really quite poor
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> my spirit, however, is indominable!
<gpstratomaster> good for you!!!
<gpstratomaster> what do you do?
<gpstratomaster> for a job
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> i work in factory for Tyco
<BEST_LAOS_FLAG> i make toys for small, disobedient American children
<gpstratomaster> nice...i had a r/c car when i was little |
#46473 (259/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** X___ has joined #invest
<X___> omg! i got these hot pics of my older sister nude last night!
<br0ker> This is #invest...
<br0ker> "C" and "V" are adjacent. |
#33624 (259/387) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eslice> i just got a vm from some random hick asking for doug
<eslice> wanted to know if i could do research on signature control for ground and air vehicles
<eslice> wtf?
<eslice> should i call back and act like i know wtf i'm talking about
<jestuh> lol only if you record it
<eslice> yeah i was just thinking about that
<hy\dro> yes
<hy\dro> that's what i did last week when some woman called me thinking i was her court-appointed lawyer in some contempt case against her ex-husband
<eslice> hahaha
<eslice> did you show up in court
<hy\dro> haha no i didn't show up, she eventually figured out what was going on
<hy\dro> i told her that i could just have her ex killed for her and nobody would have to know
<hy\dro> and she kind of stuttered
<hy\dro> then hung upComment: #GeekIssues
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#31131 (259/503) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<juice> HEY DOES ANYONE WANT some HIGH quality pens? pens that wont fail you ever? Go to the pen island, at www.penisland.com today! |
#30455 (259/467) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<vermifuge> so i have this girl in bed
<vermifuge> and her friend texts her
<vermifuge> to say shes pregnant
<vermifuge> colossal 21st century cock-blocking
<jube> YOUVE GOT LIMP |
#30413 (259/437) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SpudMuffn> I jack off in the shower so much that I get a hard-on whenever it rains. |
#29668 (259/461) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bob> Clive got upset the other day when Marketing emailed him a PDF of a TIFF of a Fax of a printout of a world-accessable web page.Comment: Transcribed from a talker conversation
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#28517 (259/383) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vamp_Boy> Arguing with the ops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off. |
#27791 (259/395) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dragonaut> ruuuuuuuuuuuuuun dildoman is cumming!
<Krizzz989> remember earlier when you were asking how many beers is to much? |
#26310 (259/393) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Ronald_MacK> I need more RAM.
<Ronald_MacK> Wait, no.
<Ronald_MacK> I need a girlfriend, so I won't be on the computer so much, and thereby it won't need more RAM. |
#24944 (259/437) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jason666> Heh... Failed English this year. W00t!
<MehBalls> howd you manage that one slick?
<Jason666> Put "Open minds and shallow hearts. Available online: www.goatse.cx June 22, 1995." on my Works Cited for the research paper.
<MehBalls> LOL
<Jason666> Guess he thought it sounded like an interesting artical...
<MehBalls> well... the open part wasnt far fetched... |
#18302 (259/425) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lut> haha wtf
<Lut> my sister just had a baby
<Lut> and i didn't even know she was pregnant |
#12045 (259/427) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lordb> me want to meet some women tonight
<godlike> me thinks women might like man more if man didn't talk like ape. |
#9041 (259/462) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phatmike> i want hard boiled eggs
<phatmike> why is that?
<Dayv> Your body is craving extra fat and protein.
<Dayv> Obviously, you are preparing for mitosis. |
#8576 (259/394) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<baguette> hey, anyone know how to find a hamster?
<is> set a cat loose
<is> the location of the hamster and the location of the cat will converge quickly
<is> though it may be difficult to separate them again... |
#1775 (259/395) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wild> i just asked a girl out
<wild> been 6 minutes no reply :|
<wild> maybe icq wasn't the way to go |
#305635 (257/357) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< JDigital> my sister found out that I know the names of the my little ponies
< JDigital> I don't know how long I can keep up the facade that I don't watch it |
#294213 (258/504) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Plasma-Fox> Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her opinion of quantum chromodynamics as a non-abelian gauge theory, she thought the only group of massless quarks was SUL(Nf) x SUR(Nf) x UB(1) x UA(1). |
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