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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..70717273747576..596Next> |
#24637 (294/502) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eval> multiple personality disorder
<MudBlud> oh, i have that
<MudBlud> so do i |
#20994 (294/506) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Andris> See you later, masturbators.
<TheKid> After a while, pedophile. |
#12347 (294/423) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@skold> is this going to be a 'my penis is bigger than yours' conversation? cuz i have a ruler and a camera. |
#7190 (294/446) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<eff> the noblest of dogs is the hot dog, it feeds the hand that bites it. |
#61143 (293/457) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Teh Cranny: What if someone came up to you at random and said "I need pants"?
Sharp10390: I'd take off mine and give them to them so that i too could share the glory in asking for pants. |
#33770 (293/495) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<muh-hest> no YOU go fuck yourself.. I didn't mean to impregnate her in the first damn place
<muh-hest> oh shit....
<muh-hest> wrong window
<muh-hest> :/ |
#30405 (293/449) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dreamwraith> Girls that think oral sex isn't really sex are so fucked in the head.
<Dest> dreamwraith: Literally. |
#22393 (293/421) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* ConstipatedElderlyMan bleeds internally and dies, another silent victim of constipation
<gothik> shit happens
<Adam^> not for him. |
#7718 (293/419) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<[-tOrn-]> And then today at work I almost cracked up
<[-tOrn-]> "Hey what are the system requirements on this?"
<[-tOrn-]> "Uh, sir..that's a book." |
#303154 (292/432) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pgp> i want food but it is raining and i have no escape from the rain
<pgp> oh wait i have apples
<iank> use them to construct an umbrella
<iank> so you can buy foodComment: irc.slashnet.org/#mefi
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#256707 (292/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
His Madjesty: So the water cooler at work is broken. It still works, but it leaks.
Ideasman: that's not good...
His Madjesty: We tried to get someone in to fix it or replace it, but they just said to take the water bottle out when we're not using it.
Ideasman: WTF? where are you working?
His Madjesty: Microsoft. |
#102982 (292/630) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crab> is it 2007 or 2008?
<Joshwang> 07
<Crab> k
<Crab> I AM IN TOUCH WITH REALITY |
#85582 (292/412) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kogita> Google ads: PDF Password Cracker! Recover Acrobat PDF file to allow read, edit, copy, and print with PdfCracker.
<Kogita> right next to it: Secure your PDFs! Secure, encrypt and send PDF documents by e-mail with PdfCrypter.
<Kogita> Which one do you trust? |
#73986 (292/600) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&Cuntipede> I'm going back in time
<&Cuntipede> then I'm going to impregnate your mom
<&Cuntipede> you can call me daddy
<@ToeCutter> dad, can i have money?
<&Cuntipede> no, fuck you |
#56958 (292/484) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Janette> I miss my chubby bubbies
<Chops> you've had a breast reduction?
<Janette> O.o
<Janette> no
<Janette> little cute fat babies
<Chops> not sure if that was the best emoticon to follow that question |
#49714 (292/518) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<numist> no wonder you're being so nice.. I forgot that you're sick
<spb> ha
* numist gives spb some tea
<numist> its a tea kind of day
<spb> awww
<spb> christel refuses to make tea :(
<numist> she does? :o
<numist> why?
<spb> because she sucks
<numist> well thats not such a bad tradeoff |
#40098 (291/455) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[SaladFork] Wow, that was really nerdy
[KOZOR] ?
[SaladFork] Today in computer science, there was this other kid there that knew of the QDB
[SaladFork] long story short, we were shouting quote numbers back and forth, and then a few seconds later, hearing the other person laugh.
[SaladFork] I am now, a true nerd. |
#34053 (292/446) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+llamaInAbox> i have lint in my eye
<+llamaInAbox> this is not nice
<+ApEtc> Remove it
<+llamaInAbox> the eye?
<+ApEtc> Whichever stops your complainingComment: #distributed on Hashmark
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#31557 (292/478) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CanOfSpam> I spent my lunchbreak at work stealing my neighbor's wife, kicking his ass, and getting her pregnant.
<CanOfSpam> The Sims is the way to be!
<CanOfSpam> Im gonna nap for 2 hours and think about whether to show up at work.
<CanOfSpam> bbl
<emil^> cos - have fun!
<Glock21> You'll be sitting at your computer after days of insomnia... you're work habits will go to hell, your personal relationships will suffer, you'll go broke... and as you're sitting there in the middle of the night with a full bladder you suddenly realize that your sim has with a great deal of your own personal effort...
<Glock21> ...has a great job, a great house full of great stuff, a great girlfriend, plenty of sleep, a better computer than you, and is happier, healthier, and made it to the bathroom just fine because you suffer for him.Comment: EFNet #politics
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#27099 (292/456) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Khel> haha, I just went upstairs, got a plate out of the cupboard, got pizza out of the fridge, then left the pizza on the bench and microwaved an empty plate for 2 minutes
<@Khel> gg me
<@tung> haha you suck
<Lithios> hahahaha
<@tung> at least you know the plate is clean now
<thrax> lol thats nothing, unwrapped a mars bar, and threw it in the bin and tryed to eat the wrapper.
<Parag0n> ROFL !!!! |
#23513 (293/450) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Potato> This guy I work with made the mistake of telling me about his whole idea of saving himself for marriage
<Potato> But it went something along the lines of "I don't wanna die young, 'cause the longer I'm married, the more sex I'll get"
<Potato> I destroyed his little world by asking the only married guy in the store how much sex he gets, to which he replied, "Well, I've got one son, but I'll be damned if I remember how that happened" |
#19467 (293/447) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Lotach: earlier today at work, I took some confectionary sugar and laid it out in a thin line, then left a straw next to it and walked away |
#279 (292/528) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gloone> internet, movies and masturbation ruined my life.
<gloone> but it also made it worthwhile |
#261528 (291/499) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Blimey> hmmmm shall i have another cup of tea?
<Blimey> or is that a bit drastic?
<Blimey> what the hell, you only live once.... |
#104003 (291/529) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Aoi-chan> everyone's first vi session. ^C^C^X^X^X^XquitqQ!qdammit[esc]qwertyuiopasdfghjkl;:xwhat |
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