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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..68697071727374..596Next> |
#34264 (299/495) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AnimeFreak> happy, are there any decent neo geo emulators for linux?
<happy> had you bothered to look, you would already have your answer. i can only therefore assume that your asking me is actually a thinly veiled request for anal penetration |
#12112 (299/403) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<zfact0r> I was playing Monopoly last night when I was drunk and I paid a chick 500 bucks in Monopoly Money for a blowjob. |
#4837 (299/463) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<KeeperS> one of the questions on there is "HOW MANY SIDES DOES A TRIANGLE HAVE?"
<KeeperS> and it has a picture of a triangle
<KeeperS> and then 4 answer choices
<KeeperS> how do you get that wrong? |
#3224 (299/419) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<phish> wow, I read this in a slashdot post "Stop slouching! It's two O'clock in the afternoon, PUT PANTS ON!" and immediately thought...damn, he's right
<phish> ...now I just need to find my pants |
#295693 (298/656) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Internet_Bound20> Today, I was sitting in the living room with my parents when my dad asked my mom if she knew where he could find some double a batteries. She said to check my vibrator. He said he already did. FML |
#56771 (298/462) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BlackDeth> so this guy on the radio the other day was saying how there's a law that you can't sue gunmakers for injuries caused by their products
<BlackDeth> then he went on to suggest that all industries can protect themselves from liability claims if they just made their products start firing bullets
<BlackDeth> that would be awesome |
#56361 (298/464) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
AMPlifier47: I have so little room left on my computer
AMPlifier47: I tried to save a 200-character .txt file
AMPlifier47: and I did not have enough free space
AMPlifier47: I just deleted an empty folder to make room for it. |
#51335 (298/500) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GenericLoser> A kid got detention today in French class.
<GenericLoser> He made a white flag for his project on French art. |
#42134 (298/468) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ebola> spankmeistress: My tongue hurts, I bit it today :(
<spankmeistress> *sigh*
* spankmeistress licks it better
<Ebola> :)
<Darksun> Hmm
<Darksun> My penis hurts...
<TimTim> ...
<Darksun> What, it's worth a tryComment: #uplink on irc.uplinkcorp.net
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#41000 (298/432) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rogue> A few weeks ago my youngest came running out of the bedroom, using his underwear as a gun holdster, pulled out the gun, shot me with the little suction cup thing, then said "Gimme your money". Tell me that isn't a smart kid. It kills his victim before robbing them. Less of a struggle.
<frostyfx> wow you are a good fatherComment: #ug/irc.alternatenet.net
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#34147 (298/468) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MrMiyagi> the older you get, the better you get
<tharaka> not if youre a banana |
#27828 (298/440) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[5:36] :: truder- [test@intrud3rz.users.undernet.org] signed off.. [Quit: A girl phoned me the other day and said, "Come on over; nobody's home." I went over. Nobody was home.] |
#6852 (298/457) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<greg> You know what's wrong with this channel, Nathan buys laptops and scotch, and you people ask him what kind of laptops. |
#103 (298/604) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<matt`> it makes you get a horrible disease
<matt`> called "babies" |
#306522 (297/429) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
skel [~areplogle@xx.xx.xx.xx.lightspeed.wkshwi.sbcglobal.net] has joined #android
Channel topic is: Welcome to the official Android-platform IRC channel! || Root? Modded ROMs? Head to #android-root || App development questions? See #android-dev || Live commit stream #android-firehose
<skel> hi! =]
<skel> ahh I need #android-dev
skel [~areplogle@xx.xx.xx.xx.lightspeed.wkshwi.sbcglobal.net] has left #android
<Riddla> OH MY GOD.
<Riddla> SOMEONE READ THE TOPIC!
<Riddla> \o/
* Riddla pops champagneComment: #android freenode
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#305950 (297/381) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+sutol> I'm in a library so I can't look at porn, and for some reason I'd really like to look at porn atm.
<+sutol> Now I just need a way to fap without anyone noticing
<+sutol> Hard, considering I'm in the front row and shit is pretty open
<@Loskene> can anyone else see your computer screen right now
<+sutol> yes
<+sutol> Everyone behind me can
<@Loskene> .f HEY THIS GUY IS HAVING A WANK
<@DEA> _ _ _______ __ _____ _ _ ___ ____
<@DEA> | | | | ____\ \ / / |_ _| | | |_ _/ ___|
<@DEA> | |_| | _| \ V / | | | |_| || |\___ \
<@DEA> | _ | |___ | | | | | _ || | ___) |
<@DEA> |_| |_|_____| |_| |_| |_| |_|___|____/
<@DEA> ____ _ ___ __ ___ ____
<@DEA> / ___| | | \ \ / / |_ _/ ___|
<@DEA> | | _| | | |\ V / | |\___ \
<@DEA> | |_| | |_| | | | | | ___) |
<@DEA> \____|\___/ |_| |___|____/
<@DEA> _ _ ___ _____ _ _ ____ _
<@DEA> | | | | / \ \ / /_ _| \ | |/ ___| / \
<@DEA> | |_| | / _ \ \ / / | || \| | | _ / _ \
<@DEA> | _ |/ ___ \ V / | || |\ | |_| | / ___ \
<@DEA> |_| |_/_/ \_\_/ |___|_| \_|\____| /_/ \_\
<@DEA> __ ___ _ _ _ __
<@DEA> \ \ / / \ | \ | | |/ /
<@DEA> \ \ /\ / / _ \ | \| | ' /
<@DEA> \ V V / ___ \| |\ | . \
<@DEA> \_/\_/_/ \_\_| \_|_|\_\
<+sutol> rude |
#297077 (297/395) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Erik> First catch from a dating site stopped replying because I was being "too intellectual".
<Erik> Second one thought I was "too good for her".
<Erik> Third one rejected me because I mentioned I enjoyed Dragonlance novels.
<Erik> Oh well, can't stop now.
<dd7> erik's finally coming out of the basement |
#295402 (297/385) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<incesticide> fine, you can have ops
<incesticide> but first you must answer this skill testing question
<incesticide> you are in a race, and overtake the person in second place
<incesticide> what is 2+2?
<cj> SECOND, BITCH!
<cj> oh fuck |
#214645 (297/459) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+SnappleMan> only pussies fight
<+SnappleMan> it takes a real man to passionately kiss another
<+SnappleMan> and remain straightComment: #OCRemix on ETG
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#63290 (297/459) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Sonic McTails: Man, work is dead today
Nokoatheart: That sucks.
Nokoatheart: hey, wait...
Nokoatheart: Don't you work in a hospital? |
#59757 (296/572) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MadSkz> Row, row, row your boat
<MadSkz> Cuban refugees
<MadSkz> If you row fast enough
<MadSkz> You will reach the Keys. |
#50574 (297/419) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
EternalFootman: 25g of wafers and 20mL of cheap wine undergo transubstantiation and become the flesh and blood of Jesus. How many Joules of heat are released by the transformation?
LittleBunny32: if you assume that the material properties of GOD possess an infinite enthalpy, and obviously that of mortal materials are finite, then the transubstantiation process requires an infinite amount of energy and will freeze the entire universe. Alternately, if we assume they can be transmuted from the infinite creative capabilities (and energy) of GOD, then by combusting them we can receive an infinite amount of free energy and the catholic church is holding out on us |
#14103 (297/464) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<xxx> I think I'm having some problems with my sexlife...
<phunqe> oh? :/
<xxx> Yeah, yesterday my girlfriend and I wanted to have sex, but I had a... hmm.. well you know.. problem..
<phunqe> Ah, no ping reply? |
#12889 (297/469) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Koushiro> ... you know your computer's screwed up when IE freezes and then displays an error message: "Error. Unable to access error.dll". |
#305287 (296/458) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Suzuran: So my boss was talking about that 9 year old girl who got shot with the congresscritter
Suzuran: Talking about how she was young and innocent and looking at a career in politics "Totally innocent, she just wanted to know how American politics worked!"
Suzuran: And I said "Well, now she knows!"
Suzuran: and now he's mad at me.Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
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