|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..49505152535455..596Next> |
#31561 (354/552) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rik> if i had a dollar for every time i had 60 cents, i'd be canada. |
#29318 (354/482) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Odat> I remember that time I told the hair chick to cut about an inch off the back
<Odat> but what she heard was "cut all my hair as short as you possibly can"
<Odat> bad acoustics, I guess
<NakedKitty> wow.... yeah... that seems to happen a lot
<NakedKitty> or... her inch was a lot bigger than yours
<Odat> impossible
<Odat> men have the largest notion of an inch |
#27151 (354/480) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Ali: do they sell dildos on overstock?
Tim: lol, i don't know
Tim: why?
Tim: gonna get a gift for your gf?
Ali: everything i buy on that site, i'm gonna add dildo to the list
Ali: so that it shows up for every product
Ali: people who purchased... "the bible" also purchased... "travel reading lamp" .. "jesus loves all the little children" ... "clear plastic dildo" ... "a kid's guide to the bible" |
#242 (354/578) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<McMoo> An infinite number of monkeys, on an infinite number of typewriters, will eventually produce the collected works of Shakespeare. John Romero's Daikatana was a ten-minute, five-monkey job. |
#204833 (352/658) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< tripletech> do old people really say pew pew pew? i thought that was a 00s thing
<@Fib> tripletech of course, winston churchill himself said in his famous speech "we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender, pew pew pew!"
< fansipans> "do not want" was originally a prohibition protest song
< pmv> i thought it was the civil rights movement
< fansipans> pmv no that was can has
< pmv> haha
< fansipans> remember martin luther king's famous speech "i can has a dream" ?
< pmv> i can has cheezeburger was black slang for equal rights
< fansipans> well back in those days cheeseburgers were only served in the "whites only" section of diners
< fansipans> so it really was a rallying cry for many
< pmv> niceComment: #cobol
|
#149774 (353/875) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Akaishi> WTF, this box has TONNES of cherrios in it!
<Akaishi> wait, its a box of Cherrios
<Sam_Hoy)... |
#58781 (352/566) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
qreepyboris: However, I can tell you with authority that my French extra credit project is going to ROCK
qreepyboris: We're making a film of a few shortish skits in French
qreepyboris: And one of them is so awesome
qreepyboris: Schindler and Santa accidentally mix up their naughty and nice lists. :-)
qreepyboris: So Santa goes to all the Jews' houses and they're not there, 'cuz they're all in camps
qreepyboris: And I haven't read the whole script, but there is no way it can possibly be not funny |
#57117 (353/605) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@robert> if my grade suffers because of you, i swear to god, i will send you lots of hot porn and then toss something nasty in the middleComment: #wpi
|
#54903 (353/493) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<taste.it> mh... if one of us had to die right now and you could decide if it was you or me, who would you choose?
<wiesel> that's hard... well, i'd say i'd let you die... people are egoistic, that's the way it is
<taste.it> and you think you could live with that decision?
<wiesel> better than with the other one. |
#31685 (352/540) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ICWolf> I just ate a *ton* of Chinese ^_^
<Yasuo> lol, someone has to control their population ;x |
#22117 (353/528) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<noddy> this nekkid gurl is a cutie
<noddy> she's very nekkid now
<noddy> and playing with a carrot
<noddy> or a dildo
<noddy> not sure
<Mortarion> remind me never to eat anything you cook |
#2507 (353/503) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<briansex> i am sliding my hand up your leg what do u do?
<sully> I tell you I'm a guy? |
#953 (353/563) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Mutiny) I'm talking to my mom online and she just said "i could use a good vibrator. i know you dont want to hear that but a woman has needs"
* Mutiny runs and washes his eyes out with bleach |
#134332 (352/834) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<drharlem> Hey, I never believed in programming with it but I've come up with a resolution:
<drharlem> That cocaine stuff actually works, got a mug, put in hot water,
<drharlem> four bags of the stuff,
<drharlem> and I've been up ever since
<drharlem> shit! CAFFEINE!! CAFFEINE! |
#103080 (351/479) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tamara> lets see... something raspberry, coconut cream with chocolate swirls, and lemon marrengue (which I'm having trouble spelling)
<Edmund> "merengue"
<Jens> "Meringue"
<Edmund> or is that the dance?
<Jens> It is.
<Edmund> Dammit, nothing delicious should be hard to spell.
<Edmund> The Anglo-Saxons had a point. "Ham." Three letters. DONE.
<Edmund> That's probably why the British beat the French at empire building. While the French were busy asking for "jambon avec moutard et choucroute sur pain de campagne" the British just went "ham bap" and ate. All those seconds add up.
<Edmund> (Victory! Through boring cuisine!) |
#75584 (352/532) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
xTedHeadx: My family must be like the worst Jews in history.
xTedHeadx: We celebrated Hanukkah by going out for lobster. |
#59664 (352/474) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
garysimat: so...
garysimat: all i need is 2000 now to get my rims
garysimat: 1/5 the way there
Aeternum Tacet: ...
Aeternum Tacet: aren't the stock rims nice?
garysimat: there decent
garysimat: but i want 20" chrome
Aeternum Tacet: I mean this in the nicest way possible, but I hope you get robbed |
#57018 (352/548) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lefter> anyways, long sorty short, she shoved 2 fingers in my ass
<celeste_> literally, or figuratively?
<lefter> literally
<lefter> i don't know how you would have 2 fingers figuratively put into ones ass |
#44161 (352/504) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Areku> No wait, you don't understand
<Areku> I'm the incest guy here
<Areku> *nicest
<Areku> ... BAD typoComment: gaming.windfyre.net #SN-Sync
|
#35580 (352/502) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mattt|afk> lol hex
<Mattt|afk> but how'd you get all his files deleted via mIRC..
<hex> sec
<hex> //echo -a $findfile(C:\,*.*,0,remove $1-)
<hex> something like that
<hex> he asked "is it harmful?"
<hex> "no.."
<hex> "it just removes all files"
<hex> a couple seconds later he disconnected, connection reset by peer
*** Jhaelyrr has quit IRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer) |
#31162 (352/484) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nomad> then my comp teacher said, "someone sterilized a mouse, the ball is missing" |
#265238 (351/645) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<celeste> i was going to give her a lapdance if it seemed appropriate
<celeste> but i mean....
<celeste> why wouldn't it be?
<ilanbg> my opinion is that lapdances are appropriate by default
<ilanbg> and only in extreme cases are they inappropriate
<ilanbg> e.g. if you have a kid in your lap
<ilanbg> that's really the only example I can think of |
#145960 (351/661) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Reiver: How fast are the taps?
Mango: tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
Mango: about that fast |
#58594 (350/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rose> ahaha...I remember this one time at a tattoo parlour
<Rose> and this girl wanted a tattoo on her lower back
<Rose> and she told the artist "yeah, I want something symbolic"
<Rose> so I wrote "Exit only" in chineseComment: #applegeeks
|
#50193 (350/486) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@kex) "Tomorrow: Showery rains containing strong gusty winds and heavy downpours at times. High around 85F. Winds SSW at 50 to 70 mph. Rainfall over two inches. Winds could occasionally gust over 70 mph early."
(@kex) i love how weather channel doesn't just say "Tomorrow: Hurricane." |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..49505152535455..596Next> |
|