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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..34353637383940..596Next> |
#51650 (412/644) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hylix> Syntacs, I know where you live.
<Syntacs> Big deal, I've known that for years.
<hylix> i've sent a team of magical sheep to mutton bomb your house
<Syntacs> And they were delicious.
<hylix> you baa-stard. |
#302145 (411/565) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< incluye> Oh my fucking are you serious
< incluye> Today's the day for Lesson 4.04 in Modern World Studies in my online course.
< incluye> GUESS WHAT ERROR I GET WHEN I GO TO IT |
#295561 (411/561) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(SatanicSniper): I'm home alone till about 4 tomorrow, so, my mates coming over with some chicks
(SatanicSniper): We're gunna have sex
(SatanicSniper): And the girls are gunna watch TV
(SatanicSniper): I mean... Nevermind |
#243532 (411/537) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
stephen: i win bitch
reese: i was lagging
stephen: wtf
reese: yeah dude total lag
stephen: we were playing chess... |
#32991 (411/561) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(JMulder): Hey bitch
(fleet): Hey JMulder
(fleet): ...
(fleet): why the hell did I just respond to bitch?
(BigRo): ...habit? |
#28747 (411/561) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<xcp> I left a windows xp cd on the seat of my car, someone broke in and left 2 more. |
#17995 (411/560) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<danie2> do you have a gf?
<ieatrocks> hahahahahah
<ieatrocks> wow, thanks for even asking. |
#277257 (410/724) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JSensebe> We've gone from Jesus to cockbacon in under half an hour. Good work, people. |
#61545 (410/584) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+DaDead> are you hot?
< sadaiy> if i was hot i wouldn't be looking for friends over the net |
#42786 (410/560) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ToxicNed> Went to pick up the double pack of GTA3 and GTA:VC, and some woman was going to buy GTA:SA for her 7 year old. She asks me if it's appropriate for kids, so I pointed out the M rating on it. She still appeared to not get it, so I explained that there's strong language, violence, drug trafficing, gang warfare, and sex with prostitutes in the game.
<ToxicNed> So she looks at her son and says "I don't know if I should get this for you..." but held onto it anyway. As she's walking towards the front of the store, I hear the kid say "But I won't fuck any hookers, Mom."Comment: #offtopic
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#121162 (409/565) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
atlasFTW> IM GOING TO FUCKING DESTROY THIS THING
<wildleaf> what thing?
<atlasFTW> My solution won't build
<wildleaf> then its a problem, not a solution |
#56333 (409/517) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Analogy> Hahaha, we played the best prank today
<Analogy> I was doing a T-Wolves show for FSN, and me and a couple of the other camera guys decide to freak out our engineer
<Analogy> We put a camera on the ground like it was unattended and held some saran wrap in front of the lens, then we gave this kid a sharpie and had him draw on the saran wrap so it looked like he was drawing on the lens
<Analogy> These lenses run like $30k, by the way
<Analogy> The engineer was back in the truck and he saw this happening on one of the monitors, he BURSTS out of the truck and runs full-tilt onto the court.
<Analogy> And we had another camera pointed at the entrance with one of the videotape guys recording it back in the truck
<Analogy> It's great, the engineer kicking our asses is the first item on tonight's basketball game highlight reel |
#55511 (409/543) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<filminfo> the only time you can be excited about diarrhea is during scrabble
<filminfo> because it's worth a shitload of points |
#47143 (409/571) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hdx> There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
<hdx> When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
<hdx> He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.Comment: #linuxgeneration
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#14055 (409/544) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<foobar> the FUNNIEST tech glitch ive ever heard of happened at my workplace
<foobar> ok.. so we run an internet storage service right? and one of our clients is a large photo site that allows people to upload pics and view them online
<foobar> well.. our software had a little bug in it .. sometimes if a file is uploaded and not cached properly by the system, the system will deliver the same file for hundreds or thousands of different files
<foobar> so what happened is someone uploaded some bestiality pictures, and those got caught in the cache, so everbody uploading their 4th of july pics got them ALL replaced by the same picture of a girl jerking off a horse
<foobar> 50,000 times |
#303990 (408/472) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TheTJ> Have you ever been in a creepy place, like a school at night or an abondoned house, when the lights go out?
<TheTJ> Sometimes you might think you're in a horror movie and about to die/be killed.
<TheTJ> That occasionally happens to me
<TheTJ> My response?
<TheTJ> I sing heavily copyrighted songs so that whatever movie I may or may not be in couldn't afford my death scene |
#300112 (408/546) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[kris] Hey, roomie... you know that "oh fuck" moment when you realize you have to go to the ER?
[grego] Yeah, ... ???
[kris] Grab you car |
#295197 (408/646) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<huy> I didn't even know I knew 20 positions.
<Swick> There's a poster at the mall with sex positions on it.
<Crazy> Swick: That's an iPod ad. |
#52074 (408/562) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dogan> man, it's so nice to upgrade your camera from 16 mb to 1024 mb
<Dogan> pictures meter is just 9999 no matter what
<Dogan> it feels like i've picked up an infinite ammo cheat or something |
#35217 (408/644) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Tetra takes a boy
<Tetra> bow
<Tetra> damnit
<Tetra> bad bad mistype
* Tetra goes away to cry |
#16779 (407/543) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kevyn> So if black guys like white girls, and white guys like asian girls... what do the asian guys like?
<etoilet> hentai |
#43377 (407/567) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@Someone): <\³
(@Someone): erm
(@Someone): <\3
(@core`cappiez): How the fuck do you get a superscript 3, and a regular 3 fucked up.
(@core`cappiez): The superscript isn't even on the fucking keyboard.
(@Someone): lol
(@Someone): it is on mine
(@core`cappiez): Fuck you, no it's not.
(@Someone): i guess you dont have a german keyboard as i have
(@Someone): 3³ its both on the same key
(@core`cappiez): Who the fuck buys a German keyboard, are you retarded or something?
(@Someone): well you cant buy any other keyboards here in germany. |
#35728 (407/593) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Jon> the transition from broadband to dialup it's like driving a corvette, then having both your legs broken and being told to walk. |
#29881 (407/531) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Queued-W> Of course, there are already puzzles without pictures on the front
<Minstrel> Queued: you have to turn the pieces over
<Queued-W> I'll be damned, it's a kitten |
#312 (407/605) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tux> gimme a P, gimme an A, gimme a N, gimme an I, gimme a T, gimme an E, gimme an S! Whats that spell?
<Tux> PANTIES!
<Tux> er
<Tux> not really
<Tux> but it was close! |
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