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#14 (428/1119) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<watashi-x> Oh my God! Are you attemping to DoS me?
<Polymer> WTF are you talking about dumb ass
<Polymer> I can't get into your MS-DOS |
#296722 (427/603) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* bermejo (n=bermejo@151.Red-83-61-11.dynamicIP.rima-tde.net) has joined ##freebsd
<bermejo> hi all
<bermejo> how do you split hdd of 500GB in partition for mail/web server ¿?
<silverblade> Precision cutting with a junior hacksaw
<hiredman> I draw a line and toss the hard drive into the air
<hiredman> what lands west of the line is for the web, east for the mail
<silverblade> high powered lasers
<ecmuller> in all seriousness though
<ecmuller> ninjas |
#225719 (427/661) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
scaramouche: My inhibitions are the only thing keeping me from fucking everything that walks erect.
scaramouche: ... >_<
scaramouche: I don't know how to salvage that sentence.
WildTang3nt: That is so fucking epic, I can't even make a witty remark about it.
WildTang3nt: Instead I shall stare in reverence for several moments
scaramouche: Yes, kneel before me, mortal.
WildTang3nt: I'll kneel before you... :) so I can eat you out ;)
scaramouche: I knew that was coming.
scaramouche: GAH/
scaramouche: FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GAG ME.
WildTang3nt: with... what? ;)
scaramouche: AAAAAAAH WHY CAN'T I STOP
scaramouche: SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP |
#104211 (427/619) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ALGORYTHM: my vps is genius, i can't ping it or access it but it's sending me emails saying email is down |
#68742 (427/561) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kaiser> how much weight can a donkey handle?
<Tsuta> kaiser: depends on the donkey
<kaiser> the standard donkey
<Tsuta> I bet anywhere from 10 to 250 lbs
<Tsuta> whytf do you need to know, anyways, kaiser?
<kaiser> i wanna know how much an assload is |
#40583 (427/603) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< bien> i'm going to go have a shower.
< Zoo> Have?
< vera> You're supposed to take showers.
< Zoo> It's the difference between a Canadian and an American mindset.
< Zoo> Canadians have things, Americans take them.Comment: #kuro5hin/SlashNET
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#306588 (425/539) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Malice> I found my friend Crista crying in the bathroom at work today.
<@Malice> I asked her what was wrong and she told me one of the new guys told her that he bets she sucks in bed.
<@Malice> Then she told me she was crying because she felt like a whore because it festered in her mind so long she wants to sleep with him just to prove him wrong.
<+ark0n> i think i just found my new pickup line |
#114343 (426/510) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<shadowwire> I gave away ramen noodles, pork and beans, jello snacks, vienna sauseges, dollar bills and candy on halloween.
<shadowwire> the kids had their pick.
<shadowwire> You would be supprised how many kids took the ramen.
<shadowwire> I even had a pirate fight a spider man for a can of pork and beans.
<pelaofeliz> who won?
<shadowwire> the pirate. |
#54900 (426/568) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<XenoDemon> So it is 3am, and I am sleeping
<XenoDemon> Some girl comes into my dorm room (Door isin't locked, room mate is still on computer)
<XenoDemon> She mumbles something to my room mate who had no idea who she was
<XenoDemon> Sits on my bed, then lays down in my bed (I am still in it), takes my blanket, and starts to go to sleep, then knocks her head against mine.
<XenoDemon> I go "Who the hell are you? What's your name?" "Aisha" "Where do you live?" "Ogg" (Another dorm)
<XenoDemon> "you're in the wrong dorm" "what? no I'm not" "Well um I need to use this bed, go back to Ogg ok?" "Haha... Ok... bye" and then she leaves
<XenoDemon> I know it is easy to get random drunk girls into bed, but that was just ridiculus. |
#50967 (426/618) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language |
#49395 (426/572) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<digi> I had written a Dune quote on my board this morning: "Truth suffers from too much analysis". Upon returning this evening, I saw that it had been changed to "ruth suffers from too much anal" |
#43370 (426/532) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Brad7> nice, what did you guys end up decide for the babies name?
<+syndicate> corel
<@Brad7> beautiful name for a little daughter :>
<+syndicate> i told melissa and she loved it. what she DOESN'T know is that i chose corel because it was the first linux distro i ever used and got me hooked on linux.
<@Brad7> how the fuck did you get married?Comment: EFNet
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#307843 (425/507) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Grauwolf> The best thing about UDP jokes is that I don't care if you get them or not |
#295523 (425/581) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rocks_the_Keys> noooooooo red ring of death on my xbox
<Rocks_the_Keys> anyone know how to play .avi movies on a wii?
<Keevan> put a laptop on top of the wii |
#71701 (425/601) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[TL]seFFYLIGht> I see that the kid that was leeching my sig from my photobucket account took it down after I changed the file to a large image that said "I suck cocks, heehee."Comment: #tremulous@quakenet
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#57019 (425/789) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Malphas> How many femanists does it take to change a light bulb?
<@Cassie> Oh no
<Malphas> Two. One to change the bulb and the other to suck my dick.
*** You have been kicked from #Womens_Issues |
#213047 (424/802) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mancha> the ancient greeks believed the heart was the thinking organ
<mancha> of course, we know now they were wrong. it's the penis.
<DemisM> Mancha: What´s the female´s thinking organ?
<mancha> DenisM, exactly! |
#140944 (424/654) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dav Lister> Zedo, a half blind five year old african orphan,has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only 1 leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.
<Arctanis> Thats sad Dav
<Dav Lister> give a small donation of two pounds and we'll send you the video. it's fucking hilarious |
#49822 (423/625) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
-!- chimneysweep has joined #n
< chimneysweep> Evening.
< LittleViking> Afternoon.
< Blazeraid> Morning
< dr_tetris_PhD> Evening.
< Templex> Afternoon.
< LittleViking> Stupid timezones...Comment: #n on mware
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#49772 (424/626) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kyrih> I'm out, cya all!
<DM> me 2
* DM is now known as DM-off
* kyrih is now known as kyrih-off
* merc is now known as merc-off
* logan is now known as logan-off
<jack> well...maybe not |
#48318 (424/604) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ryouko> yo feed me german sentences to say to him
<ViscountPherget> ich will deinen Rücken küssen während ich dir meinen Schwanz einführe
<Ryouko> ok, lol
<Ryouko> what does that mean btw
<ViscountPherget> let me kiss your back while I insert my cock into you
<Ryouko> AW FUCK MAN
<ViscountPherget> lol |
#307916 (423/469) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Sebas> Apparently I tried to go to sleep with my feet on the pillow because "then they'd get to be comfortable for a change, too"
<@Sebas> And when the girlfriend told me I'd suffocate then, I told her "No, because I'm James Bond"
<@Sebas> Which I later explained, after they told me this, was because James Bond is an under-cover agent.
<@Sebas> So obviously he wouldn't suffocate under the blankets.
<@nukespooon> ahahhaha
<@Sebas> EVEN WHEN I'M SHITFACED OUT OF MY MIND, I MAKE TERRIBLE PUNS |
#297762 (422/602) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate" |
#295188 (422/766) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Liempt> Wtf?
<Liempt> The wiki article on Iron Maiden is about some stupid band. |
#113480 (422/576) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<emma> I have a job where I interact with humans a lot. It's one of the things about IRC I like. It's a great escape from the fake daily rituals.
<emma> It's like curling up with a cozy book that talks back to you.
<HiLander> a book with terrible spelling and grammar |
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