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#247571 (397/721) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jeanette> FUCK THE LETTER O.
<Jeanette> I HATE IT FOREVER.
<Jeanette> ..
<Jeanette> FAREVER |
#30527 (397/573) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Spudman) Being the british people you are, do you ever say "rightio then chap, ta ta?"
(Intron|Away) being the american you are, do you regularly shoot people on your own team in games ? |
#20193 (397/560) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
«@hyu» i need an 800 by 600 jesus wallpaper
«@SkywardShadow» Type it into google. ;P
«@hyu» i am
«@hyu» google's being nasty
«@hyu» oooh, got a purdy one
«@hyu» and it's password protected
«@hyu» wtf
«@Vormav» haha
«@hyu» who password protects bible pictures?
«@Vormav» ACCESS TO JESUS DENIED |
#304899 (396/482) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dd7> i think newegg forgot to put my item in the package
<dd7> all they sent was packing peanuts
<dd7> i'm not exactly upset; they're fun to play with and stuff
<dd7> but i sure could have used that hard drive |
#283509 (396/526) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<paul> yea, the secured areas have additional security
<paul> I mean realistically as I say to people you can just go through the drywall with a claw hammer in about 5 minutes
<paul> if that
<paul> or as I call it, the "koolaid man" attack
<paul> bonus points for screaming "OH YEA!" when busting through |
#33885 (397/553) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Matador_> put your $$ where your penis is
<fyzix> you want me to shove money in your mother? |
#11507 (396/549) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kurt> I will now make this man disappear!
***Exitium has been kicked by Kurt (Hocus Pocus)
<Kurt> Voila!
<jre> Hey, I saw you palm him and place him in your ass!
<Kurt> THIS SHOW IS OVER! |
#306405 (395/473) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<goretext>so when I was in HS, I would hack the wifi with my ipod.
<goretext>the school caught on so they started looking at the ipod names to try and figure it out.
<goretext>every 3 days i would change its name to "(insert popular girls name here)'s iphone"
<goretext> 3 of them were suspended before i stopped
<wedge> oh god, that's funny.
<goretext> it won me class clown. |
#302103 (396/620) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bucketmouse> every time i feel depressed i just 7zip something from the commandline
<bucketmouse> lrobin$ 7za a test.7z blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Creating archive test.7z
<bucketmouse> Compressing blah.txt
<bucketmouse> Everything is Ok |
#300934 (395/565) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Computer> dude so i locked my keys in my car the other day at school.. asked this girl if i could borrow her phone (because my phone was locked in my car). she overheard me asking someone to come help me get my car unlocked, and is like "hey i have all that stuff in my car dont worry about it"
<Computer> this crazy tatooed girl has this car-theft kit in her back seatt
<Computer> i dont even go with her, she asks what kind of car i have and generally where it is, and says BRB
<Computer> comes back and is like hey its open
<Computer> and im like what? are you sure it was the right car?
<Computer> she looks at me like "oh crap, youre right"
<Computer> i should have got her phone number or somethingComment: freenode, #defocus
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#85843 (395/647) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Meglo> This reminds of back when I played Star Wars Galaxies. I killed some guy so many times he sent me a tell that he was going to kill himself and it was all my fault. Thats the only time I feel I have ever "won" at an MMO.Comment: #synthetic-geeks
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#52148 (395/599) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<farlax> gardening was a pain yesterday...
<foam> Hmm, tell me about it
<farlax> I did the front of the house (shrubs), and the back (flowerbed)
*** Join: christ0pher (christ@otaku.freeshell.org)
<farlax> I started out by trimming my thick bush
<farlax> my BF asked me to do it... it was blocking his view
<christ0pher> you going into the porn business, farlax?Comment: Context, context, context...
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#34834 (395/565) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gnome> I believe I convinced someone to ditch AOL, too
<gnome> while I was waiting for my mom to get out of her meeting some woman started asking me computer questions
<gnome> And then proceeded to ask me about school and if there's any sort of computer training because her daughter is interested
<gnome> She then went on to exlain that her daughter likes to IM people and things like that, and so she thought should could do something in the computer field
<gnome> My first thought on this was "I like to masturbate but that doesn't mean I could be a porn star" |
#32488 (396/590) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gothic_CatGirl> Blaine the Australian?
<Gothic_CatGirl> wtf kinda boyfriend is that for barbie?
<Gothic_CatGirl> My barbies were lesbians.
<Gothic_CatGirl> Don't you fucking dare quote me. |
#4780 (395/567) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Thumb> do you know of any major organizations that are similar the CDC?
<Lucent> who?
<Thumb> center for disease control
<Lucent> i said WHO
<Thumb> what? i'm asking you
<Lucent> World Health Organization |
#265040 (394/576) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(floorislava) i'm going to start sleeping on the floor
(FlyingMariachi) but the floor is lava
(floorislava) OH SHIT |
#70670 (394/586) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<red_ryan> so... I played starcraft online against some koreans today
<red_ryan> i was doing good until about 15 minutes in, then a fucking TON zerglings came out of nowhere and pwned the fuck out of me
...
<red_ryan> btw, what does "kekekekekeke" mean? |
#54860 (394/558) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Deranged): Haha... me and a friend were riding around today, and we stopped at a traffic light where there were two high school girls standing on the corner waiting to cross.
(Deranged): So my friend rolls down his window and asked one of the girls, "Hey, what can I get for ten dollars?"
(Deranged): They both opened their mouths in shock, so I leaned over and said, "Really? Then what can I get for $20?"
(Deranged): Turns out we can get cussed out for free. :/ |
#48642 (394/538) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kogita> My car is doing better than ever. The gas tank used to hold $9 worth of gas, now it holds $13 worth. |
#74537 (393/631) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(@STARSBarry) tbh i saw funniest thing ever
(@STARSBarry) there was a black dude as santa in fenicks
(@STARSBarry) and the kid was
(@STARSBarry) "your not the real santa your black"
(@Steepmas) poor Santa :(
(@STARSBarry) and he said "i am?"
(@STARSBarry) he said it was off the soot in the chimneysComment: Best Santa Excuse ever ! in Newcastle
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#61310 (393/515) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< niteshad> Every so often, a van from Corporate will pull up and drop off a load of gear that's surplus, overstock and returns.
< niteshad> Can't be sold as new so they give it to the employees.
< paul> hah
< niteshad> The only caveat is that they don't want to see us selling it on ebay, etc.
< niteshad> However, giving it to friends is perfectly acceptable in Corporate's eyes.
< paul> can you give it away in exchange for sexual favors?
< niteshad> They didn't say anything explicitly forbidding that so, I assume the answer is yes.
< paul> awesome
< paul> well...
< niteshad> That said, paul, in your case, the answer is no. |
#61053 (393/529) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Kat: They should make a NetFlicks for books!
Cassandra: they do
Cassandra: its called the library |
#33946 (393/573) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<malady> Hi Pav!
<malady> How's Pravda?
<Pav> Pravda?
<gumby_jd> Probably means Prague...
<Pav> ah! :)
<malady> Yay for being a poorly educated American. ^^
<malady> ...what's the correct spelling?
<Pav> malady: in english Prague, in native language Praha
<malady> Ah... not real sure where I got the vd from.
<malady> ...boy, if I had a nickle for every time I said _that_. |
#31921 (393/527) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Wallrod> i hate having my room right next to the bathroom
<Wallrod> i have to hear my dad take a shit
<Wallrod> EVEN DEATH METAL DOESNT COVER ALL THE FREQUENCIES MY DAD'S ASS BROADCASTS ON |
#31882 (393/521) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[c-rOCK] so emme baby
[c-rOCK] panty color?
[emme] boxers
[emme] witha penis in them by the way |
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