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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..36373839404142..596Next> |
#152432 (402/600) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Guillotine> If anybody wants to participate in the greatest April fools of all time, I need a .wav of the rickroll song and .tga version of every .5 second interval in the video
<+Guillotine> (I think you can see where I'm going with this)
<@Iriel> Hell?
<+Guillotine> Probably |
#29879 (402/532) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Javin> God I need to do laundry.
<Javin> At this point, the underwear I wear are the first ones I'm able to catch.
<Doh_> catch?
<Doh_> you mean there mOVING?
<Javin> Not as fast as the socks, but yes.
<Doh_> heh |
#301950 (401/681) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
PartyGirl1450981: I set VLC to always look for subtitle files and use them for the corresponding videos
PartyGirl1450981: and I set it to always use the english subs for Damnatus
PartyGirl1450981: so the bob ross video I'm watching is slightly grim dark
PartyGirl1450981: hes talking about a beautiful blue color to start off with
PartyGirl1450981: and the subs are talking about how the universe has devolved into a hell of eternal war
PartyGirl1450981: I muted it for extra lols
PartyGirl1450981: and he's painting a cloud into the sky
PartyGirl1450981: "HUMANITY HAS NO ALTERNATIVE" |
#297599 (401/521) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<R0b0t1> "Honestly I think all those people who say Bin Laden has weapons of mass destruction are stupid. Destroying mass is against the laws of thermodynamics!"
<leymoo> ...
<leymoo> you sir, win the award of the "biggest groan I'll do today" competition |
#77357 (401/635) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CPOK> so when are you americans gonna catch up with the rest of the world and use metric anyway?
<Molgorn> I'll drink to that!
<Molgorn> Anyone fancy a pint? |
#31363 (401/579) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Roadie> i wonder how come i eat an eat.. sit around all day
<Roadie> never gain weight
<Quiky> Because the scale won't go up any higher.Comment: weight
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#302192 (400/606) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<fahadsadah> I-ripped-my-spacebar-out-of-my-keyboard
<fahadsadah> and-can't-figure-out-how-to-put-it-back-in |
#297660 (400/542) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ambulance> so I have an amusing trojan that opens a command prompt ever 12 hours and links me to 'macho man' on youtube
<ambulance> I think I'll keep it |
#227599 (400/596) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RizBow> you son of a bitch
<RizBow> you have me on ignore
<OCRE> No
<OCRE> I'm just ignoring you
<OCRE> you son of a bitchComment: #ocremix
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#22238 (401/555) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<windows_macgeek> Is there a way to overclock a compact flash card to have more storage?
<InvisableMan> umm..... can you overclock the memory in your computer to give you more storage?
<windows_macgeek> HAHAHA!!!! Of course not, idiot!
<InvisableMan> you just took the words right out of my mouth.
<windows_macgeek> ...Oh. |
#113987 (398/608) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kodan> I hate lawyers.
<Dwing> I'm a lawyer.
<Dwing> I AM OFFENDED BY YOUR STATEMENT!
<Dwing> <Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Counter-counter-counter-sues>
<Dwing> <Counter-Counter-Counter-Counter-Sues>
<Kodan> <Spray paints self black>
<Kodan> <Pulls out the race card>
<Kodan> OH LAWD! THE WHITE MAN BE A PUTTIN' ME DOWN!
<Kodan> <Calls Al Sharpton>
<Dwing> ...
<Dwing> I bow to your superior tactic D: |
#72748 (399/591) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<insaneidiot> so i have to write a paper for english about why Launcelot likes to run around killing people
<MC> He was beat as a child
<Tar> it's because he yearns desperately for approval
<HunterX11> its the name
<HunterX11> if you name a girl candi, she'll be a stripper
<HunterX11> if you name a boy jeeves, he'll be a butler
<HunterX11> if you name a guy launcelot, he's gonna fucking lance peopleComment: irc.bungie.org #hbo
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#49957 (399/617) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<shen> aah!
<shen> cat!
<shen> get off me, cat
<shen> I just gave you food, now go away, I am trying to type
<shen> no, don't purr, go and sit on your pillows
<shen> ...
<shen> you know, I should really shout at the cat, instead of just talking on IRC like this |
#49745 (398/586) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+skittz> that's not as bad as when I was a little kid and I heard some older kids say some words I didn't know, but I thought they meant "yes" because the kid nodded when he said it
<+skittz> anyway
<+skittz> so one day my mom's like
<+skittz> "Would you like a sandwich, dear?"
<+skittz> And I go
<+skittz> "NIGGA WHAT?!'
<+RyuKojiro> XD
<+skittz> oh man was my ass red after that belting XDComment: Freenode rocks :P
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#14207 (399/541) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING????????????????????????????????????????????????????? |
#301827 (398/530) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today" |
#299844 (398/520) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Jafet> How the hell does youtube order its comments anyway?
<FauxFaux> Most annoying first. |
#299780 (398/576) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< fawkesmulder> the only thing impenetrable to hackers are vaginas |
#261898 (398/640) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Kamaris> so apparently at 8:04 this morning i sent an email to the department
<@Kamaris> subject line "Srghb"
< MrCodez_> Kamaris, you sat on your phone and sent an email?
<@Kamaris> no, i jabbed angrily at it when i woke up late while using my thumb with one eye open
<@Kamaris> i was trying to say "i will be in late"
< MrCodez_> going for the phonetic spelling of that I see... |
#216997 (398/574) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shii> ethane, mcdonalds can be a fun and rewarding job
<Shii> to get fired from
<Cpl_Ethane> Shii: I worked there, over uhm
<Cpl_Ethane> 15 years ago
<Cpl_Ethane> and I got fired
<Shii> what for?
<Cpl_Ethane> shii: you know those paper burger king crowns that BK used to hand out? I showed up to work wearing oneComment: #raspberryheaven
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#77143 (398/578) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> ... wtf?
<Trinexx> everytime I look over at the TV, Groundhog Day is on again |
#61017 (398/554) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Mattykins: i just did the stupidest thing evar
The Kaos Jester: Installed OS X?
Mattykins: okay i thought i broke my NIC on OS X right
Mattykins: cause it said "The Ethernet cable for Built-In Ethernet is not plugged in." right
Mattykins: and that's what it says when it is broken
Mattykins: so i spend like three hours trying to fix it
Mattykins: and i look behind the computer
Mattykins: the fucking network cable is unplugged |
#54312 (398/522) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<markos_64> GreyKnight: any idea on what to do with a router that screams on contact with holy water?
<markos_64> it seems to have real fun dropping, duping, or delaying my packets
<GreyKnight> Carefully open the cover
<GreyKnight> Poke inside with a screwdriver
<GreyKnight> Dodge any sparks and/or angry ancestors
<markos_64> Bob already suggested that i use a hammer
<GreyKnight> Then, replace the cover
<GreyKnight> and very very carefully
<GreyKnight> sell it on eBay to some poor sucker and buy a new one with the proceeds
<markos_64> shut the fuck up. i already bought it on internet auction.
<markos_64> i'm not going to ever do it again.
<GreyKnight> See? It worked for the previous owner. |
#48144 (398/594) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dogan> today in school the funniest thing ever happened at an assembly
<Dogan> i was up in the stands as part of the band, watching the cheerleaders do some show
<Dogan> and one of the girls loses her balance and falls off the top of the pyramid
<Dogan> So without thinking, i stand up and do a "Wah wah wah wahhhhhhhhhhhhhh" on my trombone
<Dogan> never saw that cheerleader again |
#310208 (398/416) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kmc> yes Windows 98 installer, please perform a bad blocks scan of your virtual emulated hard drive
<kmc> you have no idea how completely I control your so-called reality |
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