|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..165166167168169170171..596Next> |
#5888 (189/347) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk" |
#6516 (188/410) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bus> what can I help you with, xorg?
<xorg> well
<xorg> when uncle daddy touches my bathing suit
<xorg> i get all tingly
<xorg> but the bible says NO |
#6788 (189/348) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<drdink> hey
<drdink> who's good at graphics and logos and crap?
<xanatos> drdink; I'm pretty good at crap (I make my own) |
#6890 (189/324) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sal> how to best explain the need for distributed systems to management? redundancy?
<Morbus> bodies.
<Morbus> think about it: if you bury a single body in one place, when the police find it, you're screwed.
<Morbus> but cut a body up and bury it all over the place, and you're maximizing your potential.
<sal> yeah im sure that'll hit close enough to home |
#10204 (189/341) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mr_Grinch> i just burned my nose hair
<Mr_Grinch> by trying to smell the flame of my lighter |
#10682 (189/357) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Birk> Since you know, you get to choose a name when you are pope
<Birk> If I ever became pope I would choose the name Perri.
<Birk> So then people would call me pope perri, and they would be forced to laugh whenever saying my name. |
#33865 (189/385) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Megasaxon> haha
<Megasaxon> americans amuse me
<Megasaxon> they're so dump
<Megasaxon> er
<Megasaxon> :(
<Bendit> hahahahahaha |
#33895 (188/412) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ristora> brant: you know gullibles not in the dictionary
<Ristora> it;s crazy :|
<Brant> Ristora: what the crap are you talking about?
<Brant> Ristora: http://dictionary.reference.com/search?q=gullible
<Ristora> hhahhahh
<Brant> HAHAHAHHAHA
<Brant> OMG
<Brant> FUCK YOUComment: I got owned :(
|
#33905 (189/389) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RandomSpork> I saw Dawn of the Dead yesterday
<RandomSpork> ha ha ha
<RandomSpork> about halfway through the movei
<RandomSpork> the theater starts to get this really BAD smell
<@MrMog> oo?
<RandomSpork> and there's this annoying drip drip dripping sound
<@MrMog> oo???
<RandomSpork> turns out there was a bunch of 7 years olds in the upper seats with large cokes
<@MrMog> ..
<@MrMog> that story sucked
<RandomSpork> but it was TRUE
<@MrMog> I thought there was a dead body or something
<@MrMog> jeez
<RandomSpork> it wasn't coke that was dripping
<@MrMog> ...
<@MrMog> ewwComment: irc.esper.net #rotfw
|
#36442 (189/369) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Philth> Trivia-Bot v1.2
<Philth> Complete the Following
<Philth> 1) _______ ___._._._
<Philth> Hint: /_e_ve_ 1_7._.0._
<Angela> Uhh.
<Philth> Hint: /se_ver 127._.0._
<BloodSpoon> 127.0.0.1
<Angela> server 127.0.0.1
-!- Angela [~asdfg@d226-127-173.home.cgocable.net] has quit ["TrenzTerra Tornado (Seagull) - http://trenzterra.uni.cc"] |
#36680 (189/345) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<t|to> mmm pound of weed
<Dmi> mmmmm, sexy girl at work whose ass is rocking like a ship out there in the deep blue sea during a thunderstorm
<Dmi> my network admin just imed me. he's like "Yeah, man, she *does* have a great ass" |
#36734 (189/303) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fleet> So I've started a job with a tech company
<fleet> And I'm building a server downstairs with the head of technical
<fleet> He tells me to pass him the RAM on the table
<fleet> I pick it up and read 512 DDR 2700 and ask
<fleet> "What the hell does Dance Dance Revolution RAM do differently?"
<fleet> He facepalmed and told me to go sit in the idiot corner |
#39539 (190/324) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tenor> how do i make z00m join/part channels?
<DrunkDwarf> by winking at him twice, lick your lips once, then shake your hips three times, and he shall obey
<DrunkDwarf> seriously
* Tenor winks at z00m
* Tenor winks at z00m
* Tenor licks his lips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
* Tenor shakes his hips at z00m
<z00m> YEAH BABY
<z00m> IM YOURSComment: z00m is a bot
|
#41868 (188/348) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pirengle> I belong to an on-campus all-female D&D group. My character, Damiar Longblade, got married to one of my hallmates characters, Sylva Atenel.
<Pirengle> Damiar kinda sorta knocked Sylva up, and then fell in love with her. He encouraged her to do things other than heal, and to enjoy life. (She's a cleric--he's a bard.) They finally get married.
<Pirengle> Sylva thinks she just got excommunicated from her church of healers. So she finally admits her love for her husband and attempts to seduce him. By taking the initiative for the first time in the relationship.
<jcompton> Huh. You find any time to go on quests and kill monsters and pick locks and stuff?
<Echon> JC: She said it is *female* group... Pay attention, please. |
#42985 (189/323) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<eLe> *I* have a social life.
<zeph> LIES
<zeph> prove it
<eLe> Nah, too busy codingComment: irc.digitaltoxicity.net #digitaltoxicity
|
#45537 (188/354) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<robotron> Dr_[^o^] is it true that people in your country name their kids by throwing silverware in the air and naming their kids after the sounds it makes when it hits the ground
<robotron> like ching chong kang
<robotron> @_@
<Dr_[^o^]> robie: is it true that you guys name your kids by throwing the bible |
#49574 (189/359) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
scythen32: i've messed around with truly skinny chicks before
scythen32: it's just weird
scythen32: like instead of love handles
scythen32: they have notched ribs for superior grip |
#49807 (189/375) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<scerez> Something Amber has...that no other girl has >:O
<ShunDhaos> a penis?
<AmberRae> a oenis
<Fluffy> a penis?
<AmberRae> penis |
#50723 (189/371) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kyrion> do NOT eat a hot pizza naked
<Kyrion> correction
<Kyrion> do NOT drop a slice of hot pizza on yourself when you are naked
<Fibbles> don't irc when naked
<Fibbles> freak |
#51450 (189/347) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
plainsongx: also, that is a lie. the bumping and grinding was like the one good part of that movie [The Matrix II].
HeKuknos: dude no it was not
HeKuknos: i watched that movie with my dad
HeKuknos: it was the most uncomfotable fifteen minutes that wouldn't end of my LIFE |
#16396 (189/335) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sev0> remember in school?
<sev0> remember the kids upside down stuffed into the garbage can?
<sev0> 20 years later, ircops.
<sev0> do the math |
#18423 (190/354) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<BeRsErK> omfg
<BeRsErK> this sucks
<PROXI> what now BeRsErK
<jitspoe> BeRsErK found a vacuum cleaner :) |
#22243 (189/346) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<windows_macgeek> What mods can you do with a Sega Genesis?
<InvisableMan> dude, its not like its an xbox...
<windows_macgeek> Dude, dude dude DUUUDE, I dont care what it's not like, I just wanna know how I can MOD it.
<InvisableMan> well i have a good one just for you:
<InvisableMan> 1) pour gasolene all over it.
<InvisableMan> 2) light it on fire
<InvisableMan> and tada! your new-age contemporary space heater is all done!
<InvisableMan> i also have an idea about where you can stick it, too. |
#25094 (189/379) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ljl> Linux Barbie - comes with a Tux keychain, a set of Distro on CDs, a set of linux stickers for the computer, and be dressed in a linuxy t-shirt and jeans
* val wants Linux Barbie to have recorded messages
<ljl> "lets build a custom kernel"
<val> "Compiling is easy!"
<jennyw> Of course, Linux Barbie would be programmable. But you'd have to figure out how to connect to her over a serial connection without X.
<jennyw> Then there'd be skipper, her little script kiddie sister ...
<ljl> skipper: "I 0wn3d dads Windoze box, and I can print his checks" |
#25190 (189/323) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Delidgamond> Naw, hoping it was the truth
<Delidgamond> I am the sexiest man alive after all
<Delidgamond> I mean, what woman WANT to get it on with me
<Delidgamond> fuck
<Delidgamond> said that wrong
<Malbi> no you said it correct |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..165166167168169170171..596Next> |
|