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#9031 (192/344) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DJTodd> My sister in law once asked me if it counted as sex if she fucked some guy but didn't kiss him.
<DJTodd> She's a real brain. |
#295087 (192/330) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
%rok3n> explain the 90s in one sentence.
@solaroperator> dildo: not just for women anymore |
#296841 (192/316) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
MrCynical: I realized my life is truly pathetic
Josh: ?
MrCynical: I just stumbled a pic where its Geordi and Data in a shuttlecraft and Data is saying "I'm not accusing you. All I'm saying is that I can't fart" My first thought is, Data cannot use conjunctions... |
#303211 (192/288) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Programix> drugs are like cheat codes in real life
<Programix> they are awesome but it ruins the rest of the game |
#303250 (192/242) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ardchoille> How can some of these employees NOT slap the shite out of people???
<ardchoille> See, I couldn't work in retail.. I'd end up on assault charges
<steveb> its not that bad
<steveb> you just have to switch your brain off
<ardchoille> Oh, like the customers do?
<steveb> most of them dont have an on switch |
#305937 (191/297) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+BigEndian> Perl is like a freak fapping in the park
<+BigEndian> from afar you wonder what the hell it's doing
<+BigEndian> but when you get close you wish you never inspected it further |
#17183 (191/352) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<_ENiGMA_> Fuckin telstra
<_ENiGMA_> They ring you up, and dont say who the fuck they are and expect you to know they are telstra
<_ENiGMA_> "Hi its sheryl here from the paramatta faults center, have you had any problems since the 26th?" ... "Umm well yeah, I've been constapated a few times and seem to wake up with erections... but aside from that Im fine" |
#19320 (192/372) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
SilvrWolf> "I distinctly heard my Rice Crispies say 'Snap, crackle, go Fu*& yourself'." |
#22326 (191/404) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Omnipolex> how many years of experience have you had with young rape ntfs
<ntfs0> young rape? i started when your mother was just a little girl
<Omnipolex> wtf
<Omnipolex> oh
<Omnipolex> shit
<Omnipolex> no i meant 3d rendering
<ntfs0> wtf
<sy> hahah
<sy> bash.org
<ntfs0> how do you mistake 3d rendering for young rape |
#23831 (193/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|404notfound> Kazaa is like playing Russian roulette, only with porn instead of bullets. |
#28441 (192/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Skeith> It may be a sin to kill a mockingbird, but it's just stupid to mock a killingbird. |
#29241 (192/364) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jjfate> does forking come after spooning?
<Swoozy> No, forking comes before spooning
<Swoozy> You don't have energy to do anything but spoon after fork
<Odat> if you want to fork more than once you quickly learn how neccesary spoons are
<Odat> if you go too long forking without spooning, the woman is liable to work a knife on you |
#29959 (192/366) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* zchrist did one of the most dumbest things this morning :D
<keter> whats that
<zchrist> I take 3 meds every morning.. one for allergies, one for my headaches, and the 3rd's just a regular ol' vitamin
<keter> and
<zchrist> so i pour me some orange juice.. pop the cap on a bottle.. take out a pill.. slam it down.. and put the cap back on.. when it hits me...
<zchrist> I just took my dogs heart medication
<keter> lolComment: dalnet #C
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#31328 (192/496) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<marek> rape is such a bad term, lets call it surprise sex! |
#31751 (192/352) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<benapp> well Pnther instlled without hitch
<benapp> except Softwre updte keeps killing my '' key
<benapp> I'll let you guess which key I men
<benapp> since I cn't exctly type one
<benapp> oky now THAT is fucked up: I cn type A CAPTIAL A just fine
<benapp> but not A lowercAse one
<benapp> so now I cAn look like one of those dipshits WiTH tHE rAnDOm cAPiTAlizATioN
<benapp> OkAy, Ben is VERY confused
<benapp> my A key works FINE when AuthenticAting to wAke up from sleep
<benapp> BUT
<benapp> it won't work Anywhere else
<benapp> AnywAy, I cAn see you're not there...lAter! |
#32398 (192/332) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<reuben> `when you buy 55v capacitors out of the 55v capacitor bin
<reuben> always check to make sure they are all 55v capacitors
<reuben> you know, just in case you go to charge them all up and one is 15v and BLOWS THE FUCK UP
<reuben> and stinks your whole fucking room upComment: efnet/#lost via quotes.fuck.org
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#39051 (192/322) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<xtremeskier> you dont know the alphabet?
<ASM57> i do, i just forgot
<xtremeskier> what grade you in?
<ASM57> 11
<ASM57> i just forgot for a sex
<ASM57> sex
<ASM57> sec
<Telexen> ...yeah he's in 11th grade all rightComment: #hothardware irc.burghcom.com
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#39284 (192/358) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mkat> o.o
<mkat> wtf
<mkat> I'm wireless
<mkat> XD
<mkat> I am teh wirelessseeee!
<mkat> as in
<mkat> NO WIRES
<mkat> XD
<mkat> Boy these orinoco cards kick some ass
<mkat> I'm all the way across the street
* mkat has quit IRC (Read error: Operation timed out) |
#40297 (192/366) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Rjx0r> long hair is kinda gay
<Rjx0r> especially on guys who have a feminine body
<Rjx0r> because sometimes you think
<Rjx0r> "hey, that chick has a nice ass"
<Rjx0r> and it turns around
<Rjx0r> and it's a spotty dude
<timmo> no thats just you rjx
<Rjx0r> I was hoping some of you would relate to that experience
<blueturtl> on your own there chum
<Rjx0r> damnComment: #geekissues
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#41197 (192/402) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zb> so like these two strings walk into a bar
<zb> one goes to the bartender...
<zb> "i'd like a jack and cokeEWdc#@@$@23Dwqxsa.xq. qwqw\0xx32
<zb> the second one says, "you'll have to excuse my friend, he isn't nul terminated."
<zb> :< |
#42623 (192/356) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< rast> whats a good free perl program for windows?
< billnyeWRK> perl program?
< rast> you know, a program that can run perl scripts
< caphuso> rast: perl is a good program to run perl scripts with...
< rast> url?
< sawtooth> no, perl ;) |
#50258 (192/406) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Clint: Did you hear that the police station got broken in to?
Clint: The thieves stole all the toilets!
Mikey_B: Yeah, I heard that at the moment the policemen have nothing to go on. |
#51025 (192/380) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kiell> So I get a text message on Friday from a number I didn't recognise...
<Kiell> it reads:
<Kiell> "Hi agatha this is betty i do not have very many clothes to be ironed this week i am sorry but please can you come next week. i hope you are well. betty."
<Kiell> I ponder this for an hour or two, and then reply:
<Kiell> "That's ok, betty. I fucking suck at ironing. See you next week. Aggie." |
#54313 (192/388) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dewfus> I'm hungry...let's eat stuff!
<Hoop> Hooray!
***Dewfus is now known as Dewfus|Cake
***Hoop is now known as Hoop|Soup
***Shack_Wheel is now known as Shack_Wheel|Cheese
***Moflucker is now known as Moflucker|Pussy |
#55139 (192/356) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Yaakov> Humans can divide things into two by eye very accurately.
< RichiH> Yaakov: laser eyes? |
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