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#12317 (194/353) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gorilla> ANY GIRLS HERE
<Lan> yeah, wanna cyber?
<gorilla> YES
<gorilla> HOW
<Lan> sorta like this
* gorilla (gorilla@xxx.ipt.aol.com) Quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Lan> a little to the left |
#13404 (193/370) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@rtav> CaptainX, It is considered outdated and sexist to refer to your barbecue with "her"
<@rtav> CaptainX, Unless it is an erotic barbecue with the erotic feature set of a woman.
<@rtav> Then I propose that you are confusing a hooker with a barbecue.
<@rtav> To determine once and for all whether you are dealing with a barecue or a hooker, simply light it on fire.
<@rtav> If it runs, you are dealing with a hooker.
<@rtav> If it does not, you are either dealing with a barbecue or a dead hooker. |
#14031 (194/335) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Pepper-> "Dear valued customer, it appears you have attempted to transmit data through your modem. Here at iiNet, it is our policy to stop all outgoing traffic from client's computers, as it encourages rampant misuse of our outragesouly overpriced and underserviced internet accounts. Please refrain from doing this in future, and thank-you for your continued support of our company." |
#14334 (194/366) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Dainichi] I want a penis! Hell, you have a penis, you can masturbate anywhere!
[Dainichi] For a woman to do it RIGHT, she has to lay down. Man gets a boner in the kitchen, he can wack off in the kitchen.
[Dainichi] If I had a penis...I'd lock myself in my room for so long that my friends and family would probably end up calling missing persons on me. |
#15176 (194/373) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Swifty] its unfortunate because whenever she's explaining trigonometry or whatever, im usually trying to hide my brute of an erection |
#27228 (194/346) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sp-boy> huh why do u under underastemate my knoloedge |
#28686 (194/410) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bank6000> What is the best way to approach a person who you are attracted to at a book store, library, animal shelter or football game shown on TV at a bar?
<CrustyNutz> You can do it put your ass into it!
<TheBrat> uummm personally just don't say some cheesy pick up line..
<xTrinityLuvx> yeah just be yourself
<speedracer> Kick her in the shin.
<speedracer> She'll remember you next time.
<Evil_Couch> zap her with a fucking tazer and then drag her back to your place
<Evil_Couch> by the time she wakes up, she'll be chained to your bed and she'll HAVE to love you or you'll cut her food ration in half. |
#13970 (193/353) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TrashCanB0B> Oregon
<snowchyld> isnt orgeon a cookie ?
<snowchyld> wait
<snowchyld> thats an oreo |
#14190 (193/374) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<joey`> what was that url again langdon
<joey`> ircnews
<sharkbyte> http://www.ircnews.com/lamers.html
<joey`> langdon...tell people to stop answering questions for you
<sharkbyte> langdon says no problem
<joey`> good |
#14305 (193/351) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
PhantomStark> <-- laughing too hard to express it in internet acronyms |
#14485 (193/364) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jodaro> hmm, my mom just invited me over for dinner
<jodaro> mm, free food
<stu> you mean your mum doesn't charge for dinner?
<jodaro> no
<stu> damn |
#15663 (193/324) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<WintrHawk> you know... 100hz is the resonance freq of a chicken head
<WintrHawk> a power company found that out the hard way |
#17091 (193/325) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cyberllam> today has been about nothing but good news
<Cyberllam> earlier i found out that I was pregnant with twins
<juntog> are they mine?
<HaLLowCat> they better not be
<Cyberllam> no, but they can be, for the low, low price of 3 low payments of 29.95 each |
#19976 (194/367) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Technogeek> I've had to akick Bruce five times now.
<Technogeek> I feel like I'm playing whack-a-mole over IRC. |
#28317 (193/381) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Saber, just imagine yourself being gangbanged by moths. This is what will happen to you if you don't behave.
<Saber> what
<Saber> I didn't do anything
<Saber> and I have a bat
<Saber> I'll fight them off
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> That's not going to help a lot.
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Can't you just feel their tiny cocks writhing against your skin, Saber?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Just straining to reach an orifice?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Do you like it?
<ThisIsASentenceInANick> Does it feel good?
<Saber> That's bizarre to the point that it doesn't affect me |
#29385 (193/355) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<StorDuff> heh, just asked about what pieces people would recommend in #opera, turns out it's about the browser |
#32729 (193/407) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Mayseth> And I'm going to start carrying a sock puppet around with me.
<Dweller> good god.. there is another one like me somehwere?
<Mayseth> Whenever I excuse myself I shall place it in my chair and tell them "This is Lefty the sock puppet.. he shall rule in my stead while I am otherwise detained" |
#33223 (193/359) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<g6|agbd|kma> sure, he's innocent on all charges, didn't you know that?
<g6|agbd|kma> I mean, the httpd logs show him logging as phpbb admin
<g6|agbd|kma> then backing up the forums
<g6|agbd|kma> then douching them, all from his ip
<g6|agbd|kma> so it MUST HAVE BEEN SOMEONE ELSE |
#296542 (193/255) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Trinexx> my girlfriend logged into my WoW account and setup a fucking parental control lock
<+Trinexx> so now I can't play while she's at work
<+Trinexx> *rages* |
#307519 (193/227) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fax> have to say that's the first time I've had a guy get pissed that I'm *not* banging his daughter |
#34107 (193/343) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[reeedobs] brb...got to go poop
[Snow] I think it's written into the original IRC RFC that IRC would be a convenient way for people in different geographic regions
to communicate and keep up to date on each others' bowel movements.
[Snow] Indeed!
[Snow] RFC1459:
[Snow] Abstract
[Snow] The IRC protocol was developed over the last 4 years since it was
[Snow] first implemented as a means for users on a BBS to chat amongst
[Snow] themselves and to keep each other informed on intestinal
[Snow] minutae. Now it supports a world-wide network of servers and
[Snow] clients, and is stringing to cope with growth. Over the past 2 years,
[Snow] the average number of users connected to the main IRC network has
[Snow] grown by a factor of 10.
[Snow] J. Oikarinen & D. Reed, May 1993.
[Snow] I shit you not.
[Snow] No pun intended. |
#40241 (193/339) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(+bilious) My children will learn Linux
(+bilious) And we'll have battles of whether Gnome or KDE is better
(+bilious) And my kids will have arguments like "Shut up Geoffrey, KDE IS BETTER"
(+bilious) And Geoffrey will yell back "MUUUUMMM DADDD, Lisa changed my gui to kde again"
(+bilious) And I'll just tell him to rebuild his system from the image stored on the serverComment: irc.uq.edu.au
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#44022 (192/310) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Sim> they've called here
<%Sim> and said "Where are you?"
<%Sim> well, my brother has
<%Sim> I'm like
<%Sim> Where do you fucking thing I am? You called the house in which we live.
<%Sim> I'm in fucking africa
<%Sim> on safari
<%Sim> gtg elephant |
#45219 (193/331) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Grug> Grug Fact: I was born on my mums Birthday!!!
<Grug> Serious
<Grug> 3rd of July
<Grug> She said I was worst bday present ever |
#46292 (193/327) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
RecursiveBadger: I had one guy today whos dxdiag report I have saved onto my desktop to cheer me up in the future
Slacker: Do elaborate..
RecursiveBadger: We sent him the generic request for system specs, which is basically "send us your dxdiag report, or at least your Processor, Manufacturer, etc etc"
RecursiveBadger: So he'd taken our email
RecursiveBadger: Printed it
RecursiveBadger: Written beside each point what his system had
RecursiveBadger: Scanned his print-out in
RecursiveBadger: And attached the scans as jpegs |
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