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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..136137138139140141142..596Next> |
#29933 (216/370) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<PigsCantFly> the best thing about being asian is you can use someone elses ID to get booze |
#32137 (216/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NeonEvangeliomon> heh, a friend of mine had his 80 giga (full, btw) fucked because the housecleaner woman decided to vaccuum the space next to his (opened) pc
<Typhlosion_v2> God, that must've really sucked.
<Typhlosion_v2> ...
<Typhlosion_v2> No pun intended.Comment: #wolfpackproductions on MIRC-X
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#32942 (215/401) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
KArmA-: telemarketer: yeah, I need to speak to your office manager please(very gruff voice)
KArmA-: me: who the fuck do you think you're talking to?
KArmA-: telemarketer: are you the office manager?
KArmA-: me: no asshole, I said, who do you think you're talking to, with that tone of voice
KArmA-: me: you don't call up and start barking at me like that
KArmA-: telemarketer: well sir I'm sorry but I need to speak to your office manager.
KArmA-: me: for what? he normally doesn't take phone calls for yard apes. . . what do you need to talk to him about that's so special?
KArmA-: telemarketer: !(#*%@ EXCUSE ME?! YARD APE?!?! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?!?
KArmA-: me: *click* |
#33098 (216/368) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bubbaprog> somebody told me simon cowel reminds them so much of me
<Bubbaprog> and i said why, because i am sophisticated and attractive
<Bubbaprog> and they said no
<Bubbaprog> because you're an asshole |
#33753 (216/354) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<phoxxy> i was on the phone with a company for my business that was in Tennesee. the guy was trying to tell me information over the phone. i asked if they had a website and he goes "Well, I didn't offer to give you our website information because I didn't think you had internet in Indiana." |
#33944 (216/392) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[Marc^]: hahahahaha
[Marc^]: been moaning that i dont have a desk and have to type on my lap
[Marc^]: got a massive desk this morning
[Marc^]: and just realised
[Marc^]: i'm sitting here with the keyboard on my lap :/Comment: #tekheads
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#40333 (216/402) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+HauntedUnix> Heard there's been an open-source explosion in Florida...
<+Nimbus> Oh?
<+HauntedUnix> Well no one there has Windows anymore.. |
#56743 (216/376) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MootMan> Oi! I think my life is now complete.
<MootMan> Had to cool a clients PC because it was overheatin, the fan on the heatsink was garbled.
<MootMan> I had no replacements, but I had a un-opened can of Beer sitting by, fresh from the freezer (I like to supercool the stuff to near 0*C).
<MootMan> This particular can had a fairly flat serface. I only needed the PC for 5 minutes, anyways.
<MootMan> So I took some artic silver thermal goop, and spread it on the bottom of the beer can.
<MootMan> Stuck it on the proc (a P4), and put a 15lb Cisco book on it to hold it down.
<MootMan> Vola. Sub-ambient cooling.
<goombah> 0_0 thats like blapshemy dude
<MootMan> Who cares. And besides, who needs liquid nitro when you can use BEER? Toms Hardware - "10GHZ Overclocking on Grasshoppa!". |
#58806 (216/456) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<~knuck> Faptime.
<~knuck> I came. (20mins 15secs)
<~knuck> knuck's fap count for 2006: 137 times. Last came 41secs ago. Total faptime: 2days 3hrs 17mins 53secs. Average faptime: 22mins 28secs. 1.199546 faps/day.
<Zem> sometimes I hate my capacity for visual speculation |
#68626 (216/410) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<toor> MandaCakes: what does yom kippur taste like
<toor> is it sweet
<toor> :/
<MandaCakes> er.. yom kippur is a holiday
<MandaCakes> the holiest day of the year
<toor> no way!
<toor> i just got thru text messaging this hot jewish girl that i want to eat her yom kippur
<toor> GOSH
<toor> i always screw everything up.
<toor> >:( |
#33488 (215/411) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<drdank> Wil's not gay!
<goatasaur> yeah
<goatasaur> he drew tits on my back before he fucked me in the assComment: #fark
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#40638 (215/305) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Whoahey> Yeah, y'know those headphones we sell where it blocks out all other sound but still lets you listen to music?
<ColonelPanic> Yeah
<Whoahey> Y'know how I always say that everyone always puts them on and their friend always says the same thing
<Whoahey> "Can you hear me?! You're a complete tool! <insert random insult> ...did you hear that?"
<ColonelPanic> Heh right.
<Whoahey> Some guy and his girlfriend came in and tried it
<Whoahey> Might I add, she was friggin' gorgeous
<Whoahey> He puts on the headphones, usual conversation ensues -- "Can you hear me?" ::dude shrugs::
<Whoahey> And I'm not even kidding, the girl yells out at the top of her lungs "I FUCKING CHEATED ON YOU WITH MIKE!"
<ColonelPanic> holy shit lol
<Whoahey> The guy just laughs, shrugs and points to the headphones.
<Whoahey> I swear, everyone in the store stopped what they were doing and were like O_O |
#49882 (215/381) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<utonium> * QUESTION * 302975 of 341350, worth 10 points: how many equal sides are there on a scalene triangle?
<utonium> Answer: ....
<mannyt> four
<utonium> Answer: .o..
<Missl337> four
<witchyp00> 4
<Missl337> none
<Missl337> duh |
#53682 (215/403) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Book> Heh, I fell asleep on my keyboard,
<Book> when I woke up notepad was open with a few pages of 'Z's written in it. |
#57699 (214/456) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< plasmadis> Woman successfully smuggles gun into prison by hiding it in the one place only a woman can hide an object. Is found out after gun fires when she tries to sit down
< plasmadis> pwned |
#165659 (215/523) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Doc> I really liked the ending to Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe, honestly.
<Doc> I thought it would be rather Lord of the Ringy, but it turned out to be quicker, better, and more emotional
<Yutz> You could have had Edward make out with Mr. Tumnus, then it would be nice and Lord of the Ringy
<Doc> My first thought wasn't "gross" but "I'm sure the internet has already done that" |
#205808 (215/561) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sektor> to the quote site, David!
<Neko> bash?
<Neko> qdb?
<Neko> i mean there isnt alot of selection, especially since it seems the tards working at both taking goddamn years to accept quotes
<Neko> its like they go through the entire american legal system to determine if something is amusing
<Neko> whats worse is half the quotes are terrible
<Neko> which i guess reflects it perfectly.Comment: ircstorm #teen-chat
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#298774 (215/249) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<todd> so uh.. where can I get pdf files of my books for class?
<todd> ECONOMICS
<todd> Unit Price: $214.30
<todd> because that is some shit right there
<compguy> the economics lesson has started already, I see |
#298989 (215/279) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AlexExtreme> is there any way to make other members of your team not take the powerups on UT single player? ><
<froggey> yes, enable friendly fire and shoot them |
#798 (215/443) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<|P0SiX|> you version'd me because?
<Valin> Because I wanted to see if you are one of those damn Microsoft OS users. You are, and you shouldn't have any nick that has anything to do with the better OSes (the free, unix-like OSes) because anything affiliated with those OSes are too good for the likes of you to soil
<|P0SiX|> [Valin VERSION reply]: mIRC32 v5.41 |
#859 (215/423) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** blazemore (empty3@dialup-209.245.205.138.Houston1.Level3.net) has joined #ramen
<LkAway1> blazemore: what happened on DBZ today?
<HomerJ> they fought some guy |
#1078 (215/357) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(idea) i just spent 10 mins troubleshooting my cdr because it said that my blank cd "was not ready
(idea) turns out i accidently put in one of those clear cd things at the bottom of the cake box |
#1634 (215/396) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<harb> Polybeastiality? Is that like cheating on your sheep with your cow? |
#10217 (215/383) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<NK|Snipe>_____/\_____\o/_____
<NK|Snipe>^Shark Attack :) |
#14086 (215/409) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dudeforev> hehe
<dudeforev> my mom said what r u wathing
<dudeforev> i said pohrn
<dudeforev> she said well dont make a mess
<dudeforev> hehe
<[0sec]Hero_Man> hahahahaa
<[0sec]Hero_Man> your mom sounds cool |
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