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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..135136137138139140141..596Next> |
#1601 (217/372) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<skatoni> will some one please help
<`NeXiGeN`> what's yer problem ?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<`NeXiGeN`> unplug yer modem
<skatoni> how?
<`NeXiGeN`> see all those wires behind your computer box ?
<`NeXiGeN`> ripem all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]: Connection reset by peer) |
#1627 (217/395) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Zonkto> I'll bet you could ski through a revolving door if you timed it really well. |
#7801 (217/362) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(PJ) grrr
(PJ) a car alarm is going off
(PJ) OH FOR GOD SHAKES SOMEONE SHOOT THE DAMN CAR
(PJ) fuck
(PJ) its our car |
#8282 (217/339) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> i thought you did music?
<baygledawg> oh i wish
<baygledawg> that would be my second dream job
<sum1tolded2medatvirtrghey> what's your first? professional sperm producer?
<baygledawg> ok, writing music would be my third dream job |
#9949 (217/345) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<paul> anyone know what a .ace file is
<moneo> all i know is it beats a .kng |
#11700 (217/406) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<astroboy> I asked a japanese exchange student what kind of american TV he likes in japan.
<astroboy> he said full house.
<astroboy> I fear japan. |
#202 (216/485) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DKMA> In seventh grade I was forced to take the SAT as this test thing,, long ago. I scored higher than the state average
<DKMA> I live in Texas though,, so it doesn't say much =)
<X15> there are ppl in texas? |
#1520 (216/357) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<studmuffn> one day i will find a way to implant annoying songs in other peoples heads
<studmuffn> it will be my supervillian power |
#1604 (216/407) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Prence> then my mom will know i have sex with the coach
<Prence> i meant to say couch |
#5902 (216/373) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<The_Roach> I hear you're pissed.
<A|exander> who told you that
<The_Roach> Anton said you went to the pub.
<A|exander> does it necessarily follow that i'm pissed?
<The_Roach> ...
<The_Roach> Well, yes.
<A|exander> well, it turns out you;'re right
<A|exander> but don't be so presumptious in future |
#8757 (216/399) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kurt> Good day prospective employer, I am both smarter than a hatful of periwinkles and prettier than two bags of smashed assholes. Fail to employ me at your own risk. |
#9205 (216/381) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<[empathy]> i found out the other day that i was in the local newspaper
<[empathy]> under a title along the lines of 'new station security cameras paying off |
#9659 (216/409) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<nikki> can you tell me what a clitoris is because someone is asking me about mine and I don't know what the hell it is |
#9973 (216/361) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
mike_afe > Linux manuals should have a section at the end showing a linux geek what to do in the event of sex. Not a complete sex manual but just some basic instructions.
Nikki_afe > 'Leave computer, it is not required' |
#11130 (215/432) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<InvalidUser> Its like my Uncle Eric used to say, he'd say... "IU, lookit
the ass on that guy" To which I'd reply, "I'm not gay Eric", and he'd say
"Oh yeah, sorry bout that" and we'd laugh and laugh. Then he'd try to
molest me. |
#109865 (215/581) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
-:- easymac [easymac@xxxxx] has joined #epilepsy
<easymac> EVERYONE TYPE THIS
<easymac> /timer 0 0 //color background $rand(0,15)
<easymac> it's really cool |
#116801 (216/372) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Foxhill> apparently when you piss in the sink, good etiquette says you're sposed to lift the plates up first |
#159501 (216/808) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Starlights59: dude
Starlights59: i just got rickrolled by fucking drugs
Starlights59: i'm under the influence of stuff right and then like
Starlights59: out of nowhere
Starlights59: rickroll starts playing in my head |
#186395 (216/588) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kleis> err, is there any good reason to ban about half of germany from #math?
<HiLander> WWII |
#295930 (216/340) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kaichu1> NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
<Kaichu1> OH MY GOD
<Kaichu1> I just realized something
<Kaichu1> I e-mailed one of my teachers about missing a class last week and how to make up the test
<Kaichu1> He sent back a message of what to do
<Kaichu1> And then ended with kind of a harsh warning about my grades and how it would affect me passing the course
<Kaichu1> He ended the message with jk
<Kaichu1> I just realized that JK are his initials
<Kaichu1> GODDAMMIT
<Kaichu1> I'm so screwed
<Kaichu1> brb, speeding over to the school |
#13195 (216/373) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<adam1> my gf supposedly has "issues" with me
<Hiroe> Heh, my ex didn't have just a few issues, she had a fuckin *Subscription* |
#14530 (216/354) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
*** Darth-Phenom is now known as Guest38697
*** Sopabuena is now known as Guest21415
*** TheRealMatt is now known as Guest60273
*** Whitney is now known as Guest15303
<Flirbnic> Hey, cool. The sum of all the Guest numbers that just occurred in here, divided by 8, equals 16961.
<Flirbnic> $calc((15303+60273+38697+21415)/8)
<Flirbnic> ...
<Flirbnic> I have no life.
<TheRealMatt> no... no you don't |
#18516 (216/388) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
BeHeMoTh101 : dude, penises shouldn't leak
TX Luder : uh... does yours?
BeHeMoTh101 : ok after you pee
TX Luder : oh, yeah
BeHeMoTh101 : you could stand over the toilet forever and not be drained
TX Luder : oh, well i manufactured a crude devise using a valve from a prosthetic heart and some exopy glue... it works wonders
BeHeMoTh101 : how does that even function
TX Luder : you know, i probably should have figured out how it would work before i glued it to my penis, but ya win some ya lose some |
#26426 (215/387) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Epi> God, whats that word where a chick is sorrounded by like 50 guys?
<Kharnifex> bukkake
<ArcaneMagik> Epi: engineering degree?
<Kharnifex> otherwise it's lekemba
<[L]o[L]> its the number one source of protein for women under 20 in japan
<bobbles> 1 chick for 50 guys
<bobbles> its a LAN |
#29041 (216/402) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<hitman> I met some dude at the last meet
<hitman> and I'm like
<hitman> "do you ever go on irc?"
<hitman> and he's like
<hitman> "I did once, but this dude hitman kept talking smack" |
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