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#5956 (231/421) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Bojangle> My mom tells me I need to get laid |
#8723 (231/405) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Linguica> whatever you say honey
<Linguica> err homey |
#10853 (230/460) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<_orion> I love escelators, they can never break, only temporarially turn into stairs |
#220691 (231/473) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Aga: I just binned a condom
Aga: it had ran past its expiry date
Aga: ...somehow I make sure to always have one around in case somebody else might be in dire need of one |
#300290 (231/341) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Vespucci> My five year old just told me that his mom is doing a bad job raising him because he didn't eat his dinner, said a bunch of bad words, and still got ice cream with the other kids. To quote "What the freak is wrong with mom?" |
#303849 (231/295) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Iridium> Alcohol is starting to fail me as a coping mechanism.
<PlanetDollar> drink more
<Iridium> Obviously that was my first step
<Iridium> but I can only drink so much before it becomes tomorrow, at which point I'm back to square one.
<PlanetDollar> smoke weed
<Iridium> I don't have the experience of smoking copious amounts of weed but I imagine there'd be a similar difficulty.
<PlanetDollar> you do build up a tolerance yes
<SentSix> I too fear that I'm going to have to start facing my problems.
<Iridium> WHOA WHOA whoa now
<Iridium> nobody said shit about facing problems |
#304071 (231/307) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Bobsentme> And then a graduate student came in, overheard about 3 seconds of our conversation, and explained we could do the same thing for free if we just used nmap and a database
< Bobsentme> So...anyone know a good place to hide the body of a graduate student? >.>
< PID1|work> from a forensic lab??
< Bobsentme> yeah.
< Tamber> lecture hall. They won't think of looking there.
< PID1|work> or a tutorial class
< Bobsentme> Tamber: "He's always the first to arrive, but sleeps through my lectures!" "He's dead." "Oh...damn. He was the only one passing the course." |
#12059 (231/427) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<RevMike> my favorite dream is still the one when i had a vagina and all the girls at school showed me how to use it |
#12306 (231/382) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AGaeris> With her gone, now Breathe is the only girl-type left for me to talk to in here.
<@Breathe> Who said you could talk to me? |
#18682 (232/403) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TiGryphon> EvilJoven: This was taken into account when he was buried, and in fact, Darwin spins almost constantly in his grave.
<TiGryphon> THey hooked him to a generator, he powers manhattan |
#19245 (231/423) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kt> i got my tongue pierced
<Eamon_the_goth17> really
<Eamon_the_goth17> so whats it like have a rod and two balls in your mouth?? |
#20211 (231/404) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cat_gurrrl> I'm not a common street hooker! I am a self employed roadside massage therapist! |
#21208 (231/380) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bob> It was a nervous twitch
<Carbeh> uh
<Carbeh> a nervous twitch that involved you jumping up, punching him in the face, and then insulting him online
<Bob> yes
<Bob> it really gets in the way of my love life |
#24197 (231/413) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Firebird> Crap..I hacked my microwave and now it cools things down instead of heating them :S
<Squiggy> Haha
<Squiggy> Hack your fridge and make it warm things up
<@Firebird> Then how will i keep my food cold?
<@Firebird> Ohhh.....OH! |
#25202 (230/422) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<burrahobbit> "Hi, my name is Tyson Vandagriff and, I am going to be your roommate next year at OU."
<burrahobbit> AND COMMA
<burrahobbit> HOLY CRAP MY ROOMMATE IS RETARDED |
#26285 (231/407) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AL9000> I'm gonna make my girlfriend a valentine with the goatse man on it, and it will have a caption that reads "I love you thiiisss much!" |
#30394 (231/465) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(SnapScan): hablais español?
(Picasso-): I would like TWO soft tacos and a large pepsi |
#30566 (231/417) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mediator> hmm....that troy movie looks awsome....I'll be able to jackoff to orlando bloom without having to watch lotr
<@Phucker> assumes 'orlando' is female.
<Mediator> your assumtion is wrong
<@Phucker> Jesus.
<Mediator> orlando bloom is legolas in lotr
<@Phucker> Jesus x2. |
#30708 (231/435) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<JP> college course prerequisites are like navigating the diablo 2 skill tree. |
#31799 (231/449) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<McDeath> thank god for electricity
<Jake_Edwards> yeah, if it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight
<gower> and how useless would all the power plants be
<conrad> at least you can still use your computer in the darkComment: from #qegs
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#32747 (231/437) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<n3wt> Anyone have any scissors?
<n3wt> Oh, you're all on the internet aren't you, nmComment: #awars-bench
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#33614 (231/407) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<aphr0> hm
<aphr0> 785 copies of winrar are now opening
<aphr0> damn shitty mouse |
#34680 (231/431) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Jackb> LEXMARK SUCKS
<@Zero> no
<@Zero> i have a lexmark and it rocks
<@Zero> except when it freezes
<@Zero> and prints wrong
<@Zero> and gives errors
<@Zero> and makes me reboot
<@Zero> and locks up when turning it on
<@Zero> and eats up the ink
<@Zero> other then that
<@Zero> LEXMARK ROCKS |
#37967 (231/363) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<icrlym> whats the best irc client for linux
<fnord> irssi
<+Popdog> irssi
<wo|2m> irssi
<icrlym> where can i get it
fnord> irssi.org
<+Popdog> irssi.org
<NarkLoaf> irssi.org
<wo|2m> irssi.org
<fnord> lol.
<+Popdog> lol
<wo|2m> lol.
<NarkLoaf> lol.Comment: #linux on gamesurge
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#40240 (231/353) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pete> did yalll see the presidential debate
<pete> it was funny
<edisk> yeah
<edisk> my friend and i had lists of words we were counting for
<pete> what were they?
<edisk> like "safety" and "freedom" and "Saddam"
<edisk> but the winner was "[awkward pause]" |
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