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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..96979899100101102..596Next> |
#162336 (511/839) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<aq> are you using Adium still?
<ChrisKite> When I use OS X
<ChrisKite> but right now OS X is wiped from my iMac
<ChrisKite> lol
<ChrisKite> I just have XP
<aq> :|
<aq> That's like an exorcism gone wrong!
<aq> It's like you tried to cast out the demons, but accidentally cast out the soul instead... |
#181508 (387/639) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<indrora> the county commision for the blind has a shitty way of making users not mess with settings
<indrora> they set the password for the admin account to "youcantseeme" |
#181249 (1012/1300) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<delfin> I would play a lot more online multiplayer games if I didn't have to play with other people. |
#163074 (264/890) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> I broke my microphone yesterday
<Trinexx> and my first thought was "FUCK, microphowned"
<Trinexx> -_- |
#162080 (146/510) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<drgone> if i had to listen to hans reiser for 11 days, i'd find him guilty too |
#154403 (599/1317) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
BabaYaga: Every McDonald's commercial ends the same way, right? "Prices and participation may vary." I wanna open a McDonald's and not participate in anything. I wanna be a stubborn McDonald's owner. Cheeseburgers? Nope. We got spaghetti! And blankets! |
#162072 (778/922) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LightFang> I'll be hosting a spelling bee.
<Stellaluna> CAN I BE IN THE SPELLING BE
<Psweet> misspelling "spelling bee" is an automatic disqualification |
#160532 (609/879) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<+allie> I always let my son stay home whenever he wanted to, so he didn't have to ever try to fake an illness.
<+allie> He loved school. It was always a big social event for him.
<+allie> Whenever I had to go somewhere to pick him up from something, all I ever had to do was look for where the big crowd was because he'd always be in the center of it.
<+wrong> selling drugs? |
#160001 (326/716) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[while uploading videos to YouTube]
<urbex> took over two hours?
<myself> yep. Woohoo, comcast?
<myself> well, it failed the first time, got a "connection timed out" after about 80% of it was up...
<myself> so I had to start again, because 1986 called and took their zmodem crash recovery protocol back |
#159501 (216/808) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Starlights59: dude
Starlights59: i just got rickrolled by fucking drugs
Starlights59: i'm under the influence of stuff right and then like
Starlights59: out of nowhere
Starlights59: rickroll starts playing in my head |
#152868 (437/759) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< nitrogen> har! i broke 100 on facebook!
< nitrogen> i win!
< curgoth> here's what you win;
< curgoth> 49 ongoing scrabulous games
< curgoth> 20 of which will send you daily pokes for not playing fast enough
< curgoth> 73 daily funwall posts of forwarded videos and "pass this on or your dog will die" posts
< curgoth> 357 invites to apps that require you to invite everyone you know to find out who your secret crush is
< curgoth> (which then notifies everyone you invite that you have a secret crush on them)
< curgoth> and 25 people you knew and didn't like in high school who think you should be fast friends now
< curgoth> and get upset when you don't share thier politics |
#152145 (781/1025) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<jaminkle> my friends asked me out to a club last night
<jaminkle> and i said ill go if they are going to play good music
<jaminkle> they were like yeah its trance night so i was like ok sweet
<Wabbit98> and it was gay music?
<jaminkle> we walk in there and it was 80's night and Rick Astley was playing
<jaminkle> i got fucking rick rolled! |
#149797 (508/810) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<PSOAddict> ugh. I even have all of the requisite social skills to be liked, according to wikipedia.Comment: #xkcd
|
#150040 (234/610) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Erica: Boy name is Easton Thomas. But i got sucked into that. Lol
uuang: Did your boyfriend choose it?
Erica: Yes. He likes the first name cuz he likes basebal and It's a name brand for baseball equipment.
uuang: oh god.. im sorry thats a terrible reason to choose a name. I love mac and cheese but im not naming any kids I have Kraft. |
#149774 (353/875) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Akaishi> WTF, this box has TONNES of cherrios in it!
<Akaishi> wait, its a box of Cherrios
<Sam_Hoy)... |
#149510 (2099/2737) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Sambito> 4chan is like your retarded nephew.
<Sambito> When he was little you thought his antics were funny
<Sambito> But now he's 28
<Sambito> And it's just sad. |
#147203 (324/794) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Giichi> so I saw a jeep for sale with the decal in the front, Christian Offroad Association
<DragonJoeCool> what doesn't Jesus do?
<Giichi> gays
<DragonJoeCool> true enough |
#146969 (1989/2405) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> a GM was playing hide and seek with us, right?
<Trinexx> offering a massive prize to whoever found her first
<Trinexx> so I reported a bug
<Trinexx> she summoned me to her so I could explain
<Trinexx> I just grinned and said "Found ya."
<Armada> Did you win?
<Trinexx> No, she sapped me and kicked me off the server. |
#146700 (1639/2133) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Tigerlilley> Well, this isn't a full sex story but it was still pretty embarrasing:
<Tigerlilley> I'd just gotten out of the shower, and walked into the kitchen to grab a drink. Theonly thing in there was milk.
<Tigerlilley> Because I am retarded
<Tigerlilley> I spilt it all over myself
<Tigerlilley> So I'm in my underwear, white stuff all over my chin, neck and chest
<Tigerlilley> and my flatmate walks in
<Tigerlilley> looks at me
<Tigerlilley> and says
<Tigerlilley> "goddamn thats some scary de ja vu"
<Tigerlilley> :( |
#146217 (241/615) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Kefka> FAT32
<Kefka> That's what file system my body uses
<Kefka> :( |
#145960 (351/661) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Reiver: How fast are the taps?
Mango: tap tap tap tap tap tap tap
Mango: about that fast |
#145699 (1902/2254) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Jacob: heh
Jacob: my roommate just walked by with a bottle of water
Jacob: I asked her why she wastes her money on that shit
Jacob: she replied with "It's healthier than tap water."
Jacob: I took the bottle from her and showed her where it said "Source: City of Houston Municipal Water Supply"
Jacob: Tap-water. |
#145443 (304/810) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Delirium> $this->hasFlavr() ? $nom->nom('nom') : $want->doNot() |
#144684 (2010/2634) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
john2.0: so my mom was reading the list of songs that i have
john2.0: that i wrote down to give you
john2.0: she thought it was some suicide note |
#143405 (639/841) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< mrpull> my little boy (finally) made the transition from diapers to "big boy" underwear. On his first day back to pre-school he dropped trou and showed the whole class his Lightning McQueens.
< mrpull> and it created a domino effect of 3YRO's showing their undies
< mrpull> I didn't see it, but it looks hilarious in my mind |
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