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#301667 (42/86) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Knoeki> My penis runs Linux.
<Knoeki> It has a high uptime, works well under load, but when load gets too high, it dumps it's core and reboots :_D
* iamalion formats Knoeki's penis and installs windows 95
<iamalion> not anymore BUHAHAHA
<Knoeki> iamalion: yeah, but now you can play more games with it ;_)
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
#296660 (9/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[@Aetos]: so the point of this channel is A) talk to people of similiar interest, B) Make fun of Aetos
#308292 (53/83) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%K-man> Simmml: there's a saying... "It's pointless to alt-tab porn... if your other window is also porn..." :P
<Simmml> hehe That's the problem ;P
<Simmml> What works too is just switching the screen off.... or locking the door... or getting your own apartment...
<Simmml> although closing windows and tabs will not help much I think considering that you're still sitting infront of your pc without pants on? ;)
<%K-man> ahhh.. yes... the single hardest choice every young boy eventually has to make in his life.... hide the porn or hide the penis....
<Simmml> cruel world ;P
<%K-man> at that point, you learn the art of "fap shui".. the art of rearranging your room so that you don't have to hide anything if anyone bursts is.
<%K-man> it's a legit ancient art I swear...
<%K-man> perfected by horny ninjas...
#308202 (57/107) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Nanobot> Roses are dead, violets are too, sugar is usually high fructose corn syrup, and we could both have equally stable relationships with countless other partners.
<@Moon_Dog3VO> ...
<@Nanobot> I think I got the meter off a bit
<@Moon_Dog3VO> maybe
#305843 (13/51) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Murphy: I noticed something this morning. when we were at the funeral home, before they brought him out to the hearse, they said a prayer
Murphy: the our father
Murphy: and apparently, when you have about 40-50 people mumbling the our father
Murphy: it sounds exactly like Frank's voice from Donnie Darko
#302558 (36/44) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Carlambor> when I was in primary school in handcraft classes, I said to my teacher "Will i get an A if I carve your portrait out of wood with a knife?" and he said "it's forbidden to make pictures of god"
#300527 (33/65) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
{rammy} all i really know about electricity is white to bright, black to brass, and green to ground.
{Alejo} and two in the pink one in the stink
{rammy} that's sex alejo
{rammy} wrong subjet
{Alejo} uhhh its the shocker
#294906 (-107/173) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
This is Hacked by IzmirLadde
checked your security *G*
Comment: This Site is Hacked by IzmirLadde
#310619 (48/54) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
bcallah | yeah I'm going to bed before I end up in another openbsd fanfic
#310560 (51/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@PapaJohn> that's like the BRT in my old shop
<@PapaJohn> nobody knew what it was
<@PapaJohn> i gave briefings to very high officials using the acronym and never got asked
<@PapaJohn> oh we use this signal, run it through a typical BRT and
<@PapaJohn> brt meant Big Round Thing
<@PapaJohn> true story bro
Comment: PapaJohn is ex US military
#305292 (59/85) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<marshalldavis> new pet peeve - users registering with our site who have a www prefix on the email address
<marshalldavis> this one had his resume as a wps and stuck a .doc on the end...
<BadMojo> I started using PDF after finding out that many recruiters/headhunters were changing my resume. They didn't typically have access to tools to edit my PDF.
<RangerRick> I always send mine in a custom binary format, zipped along with a text file of the spec on how to implement a parser
<RangerRick> it's a custom variant of UNICODE, called UTF-13
<tyler_wylie> RangerRick: nah it should be UTF-|-15| ( absolute value)
<BadMojo> I hand over a platinum plate, laser etched with my resume, and attached to a replica of a voyager space probe.
Comment: #opennms
#296807 (46/64) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<skint> i heard all Russians are poor and illiterate
<lennoxRU> almostly
#310401 (71/81) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zavie> Saga_Musix this actually happened when opening my Internet line: "Do you want a phone?" "hmm why not, how much? ok then." ... later: "Please write your name, address, phone number..." "I don't have a phone number." "We need a phone number." "You do realize you are asking me for a phone number to open a phone line?" (embarrased) "yes, it's a little stupid"
#311166 (23/35) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
swift110 | Sup y'all
<-- | Nothing_Much (Nothing_Muc@user/Nothing-Much/x-98833468) has quit (Connection closed)
BungusMcFungus | ^
#311140 (29/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< m1dnight_> Jezus, these damn terrorists are blowing up half my
< m1dnight_> I was late for the university today.
< m1dnight_> Thank god I had to pass 2 bombsites on my way to the university. Not to mention the fact that my university was an actual target (immediate threat)
< m1dnight_> Man this stuff is surreal. People are texting me to ask me if I'm alive..
< m1dnight_> Even one guy "I knew I had to try IRC to contact you so I installed this mirc thing" :>>>
#302071 (37/59) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rigeld2> Just got a workorder with a list of domains who supposedly blacklist us.  Our domain is on that list.  I wonder when we started blacklisting ourselves.
* rigeld2 stabs stupid people
<inode0> I would do it if I had the power
<inode0> I could improve the lives of 60,000 people just like that
#307473 (74/124) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sanzh>  wouldn't penis math be cockulus
<TheDeleter> Prickonometry?
<Schazer> dongrivatives?
<Jacquerel> arithmadicks
#305355 (32/82) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(RooRoo) okay so this guy  I've known for like 4 years from conventions, has been trying to seduce me via webcam. cause me losing all that weight made him decide that suddenly, I'm a hot chick.
(RooRoo) I made a 'small penis' joke because he took his pants off when I told him not to
(RooRoo) and then he called his dick 'Bruce Banner'
(RooRoo) who is the guy that becomes the hulk
(RooRoo) I busted out laughing
(RooRoo) could not take him seriously at all after that
#309733 (42/58) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rmah> (reading books is my primary ipad activity)
<rmah> well, that and crossword puzzles
<atomi> I take my tablet to the bar and use it to ignore people
#308060 (50/72) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%Chlamydia> my only mobile security feature is my lock pattern.
< me-tan> heh tablet runs windows XP so i use the fingerprint reader on it
< me-tan> best goddamn way to unlock your workstation ever
<%Chlamydia> nice.
< me-tan> not very secure though
<%Chlamydia> especially if someone finds your finger.
< me-tan> Chlamydia: its a laptop. Its covered in fingerprints already
< me-tan> well, laptop/tablet
< me-tan> all you have to do is cast the finger prints in gelatine then swipe them on the reader.
<%Chlamydia> i'd never have thought to do that, lol.
<%Chlamydia> i guess this is my excuse to wear long villain gloves everywhere.
< me-tan> or pick pineappes for a living.
< me-tan> One of the chemicals in pineapples removes the lines in your hands and fingers, so people who process pineapples end up leaving no fingerprints
<%Chlamydia> you are going to be first on my secret agent team.
< me-tan> only if i get a neat catsuit
<%Chlamydia> deal.
< me-tan> sweet.
Comment: #wtfux
#197234 (57/83) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<wito> I like my variables like I like my women
<Polytope> bound?
<thermoplyae> greek?
<Szego> hairy?
<Quadrescence> infinitely differentiable?
<acetoline> free?
<Aldaron> complex?
#311440 (22/30) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< hydrocat> Hello, I need some insight on asyncio's run_forever()
< o11c> hydrocat: if it is correctly named, it is a limited solution for the halting problem
#311214 (35/47) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<&kapitank> oh wow a mistype such a rare thing that deserves being pointed out every time it hapens =^)
<~LexPro> hapens
<&T2norway> hapens
#311173 (15/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<paulguy> Kenya East sounds like a knockoff Kanye West
#305906 (57/75) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< tobyx> i want to fly to switzerland and make free love to the founder of rapidshare
< mc44> you'll catch something horrible :(
< mc44> but only after you wait 60 seconds
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