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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..567891011..592Next> |
#305292 (53/77) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<marshalldavis> new pet peeve - users registering with our site who have a www prefix on the email address
<marshalldavis> this one had his resume as a wps and stuck a .doc on the end...
<BadMojo> I started using PDF after finding out that many recruiters/headhunters were changing my resume. They didn't typically have access to tools to edit my PDF.
<RangerRick> I always send mine in a custom binary format, zipped along with a text file of the spec on how to implement a parser
<RangerRick> it's a custom variant of UNICODE, called UTF-13
<tyler_wylie> RangerRick: nah it should be UTF-|-15| ( absolute value)
<BadMojo> I hand over a platinum plate, laser etched with my resume, and attached to a replica of a voyager space probe.Comment: #opennms
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#296807 (44/60) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<skint> i heard all Russians are poor and illiterate
<lennoxRU> almostly |
#310401 (63/73) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zavie> Saga_Musix this actually happened when opening my Internet line: "Do you want a phone?" "hmm why not, how much? ok then." ... later: "Please write your name, address, phone number..." "I don't have a phone number." "We need a phone number." "You do realize you are asking me for a phone number to open a phone line?" (embarrased) "yes, it's a little stupid" |
#311166 (23/33) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
swift110 | Sup y'all
<-- | Nothing_Much (Nothing_Muc@user/Nothing-Much/x-98833468) has quit (Connection closed)
BungusMcFungus | ^ |
#311140 (29/35) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< m1dnight_> Jezus, these damn terrorists are blowing up half my
< m1dnight_> I was late for the university today.
< m1dnight_> Thank god I had to pass 2 bombsites on my way to the university. Not to mention the fact that my university was an actual target (immediate threat)
< m1dnight_> Man this stuff is surreal. People are texting me to ask me if I'm alive..
< m1dnight_> Even one guy "I knew I had to try IRC to contact you so I installed this mirc thing" :>>> |
#302071 (36/58) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rigeld2> Just got a workorder with a list of domains who supposedly blacklist us. Our domain is on that list. I wonder when we started blacklisting ourselves.
* rigeld2 stabs stupid people
<inode0> I would do it if I had the power
<inode0> I could improve the lives of 60,000 people just like that |
#307473 (65/113) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sanzh> wouldn't penis math be cockulus
<TheDeleter> Prickonometry?
<Schazer> dongrivatives?
<Jacquerel> arithmadicks |
#305355 (30/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(RooRoo) okay so this guy I've known for like 4 years from conventions, has been trying to seduce me via webcam. cause me losing all that weight made him decide that suddenly, I'm a hot chick.
(RooRoo) I made a 'small penis' joke because he took his pants off when I told him not to
(RooRoo) and then he called his dick 'Bruce Banner'
(RooRoo) who is the guy that becomes the hulk
(RooRoo) I busted out laughing
(RooRoo) could not take him seriously at all after that |
#309733 (41/57) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rmah> (reading books is my primary ipad activity)
<rmah> well, that and crossword puzzles
<atomi> I take my tablet to the bar and use it to ignore people |
#308060 (49/69) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<%Chlamydia> my only mobile security feature is my lock pattern.
< me-tan> heh tablet runs windows XP so i use the fingerprint reader on it
< me-tan> best goddamn way to unlock your workstation ever
<%Chlamydia> nice.
< me-tan> not very secure though
<%Chlamydia> especially if someone finds your finger.
< me-tan> Chlamydia: its a laptop. Its covered in fingerprints already
< me-tan> well, laptop/tablet
< me-tan> all you have to do is cast the finger prints in gelatine then swipe them on the reader.
<%Chlamydia> i'd never have thought to do that, lol.
<%Chlamydia> i guess this is my excuse to wear long villain gloves everywhere.
< me-tan> or pick pineappes for a living.
< me-tan> One of the chemicals in pineapples removes the lines in your hands and fingers, so people who process pineapples end up leaving no fingerprints
<%Chlamydia> you are going to be first on my secret agent team.
< me-tan> only if i get a neat catsuit
<%Chlamydia> deal.
< me-tan> sweet.Comment: #wtfux
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#197234 (50/74) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<wito> I like my variables like I like my women
<Polytope> bound?
<thermoplyae> greek?
<Szego> hairy?
<Quadrescence> infinitely differentiable?
<acetoline> free?
<Aldaron> complex? |
#311440 (20/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< hydrocat> Hello, I need some insight on asyncio's run_forever()
< o11c> hydrocat: if it is correctly named, it is a limited solution for the halting problem |
#311214 (31/43) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&kapitank> oh wow a mistype such a rare thing that deserves being pointed out every time it hapens =^)
<~LexPro> hapens
<&T2norway> hapens |
#311173 (15/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<paulguy> Kenya East sounds like a knockoff Kanye West |
#305906 (56/74) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< tobyx> i want to fly to switzerland and make free love to the founder of rapidshare
< mc44> you'll catch something horrible :(
< mc44> but only after you wait 60 seconds |
#305413 (45/87) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Meow> what's the alternative to html tables?
<+slew> html chairsComment: irc.p2p-network.net / #zomgwtfbbq
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#304670 (31/57) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Digga> that's only because if you leave dirty socks on the carpet for long enough they start smelling of carpet and not socks and you can wear them again :D |
#303787 (39/61) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<femmefan1946> Those drivers have tight schedules to follow. You'd have a hard time flagging one down.
<femmefan1946> Unless you were wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> Heh. I'm male. Though this is Vancouver...it would probably be fairly easy to flag a driver down, if I was wearing a low-cut dress.
<Mango> It works for my uncle. |
#214164 (23/71) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
AbortedFetus has left irc.slashnet.org (Ping timeout)
<orbofwisdom> man that was a good burger
<Kitsune> O_o
<Kitsune> did you.. eat... AbortedFetus? |
#310604 (5/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@mentot> Marijuana, 851 1st Avenue #91, Seattle, WA 98104, USA 54.6 F (12.6 C) 49% humidity, wind is calm, overcast
<Jigsy> >Wind is calm
<Jigsy> I bet. |
#308051 (21/39) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@keen> mm... xml
<Ceseuron> XML? XXXML is more like it...
<@keen> cryengine uses it for most of the item definitions
<Thalagyrt> XXXML?
<Thalagyrt> get real, it's more like <initialism type="abbreviation"><initial position="0" value="X" longvalue="eXtensible"/><initial position="1" value="M" longvalue="Markup"/><initial position="2" value="L" longvalue="Language"/></initialism> |
#302675 (45/47) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<^[> if i get a new machine i've got everything else planned out for my old parts
<^[> the old desktop turns into a render box
<^[> the old render box turns into a fileserver
<^[> the old fileserver turns into a flowerpot
<^[> and the old flowerpot goes outside because i haven't watered it in like 9 months and the plants have been long dead |
#311325 (41/49) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<gambl0re> imagine riding a uber in detroit...probably get shot
<jaawerth> meh, places are never as dangerous as people say they are
<jaawerth> also if an uber driver shot me I'd leave them a terrible review |
#309763 (57/77) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< NDJ> Oh God how did I even do this,
< NDJ> My Windows partition is now ext4
< NDJ> ShitComment: #linux on a small network
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#307354 (45/91) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
rejoec > africans complain theres no water for 20 miles
rejoec > why dont they walk the 20 miles and live there instead
rejoec > like any fucking sane person |
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