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#300740 (45/79) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
#309171 (66/92) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist
#304056 (56/84) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<pherricoxide> walmart.. I tried to hack into their systems during my bored time
<pherricoxide> surprisingly didn't get very far
<pherricoxide> I did manage to screw up my badge once though
<pherricoxide> I entered my badge info into the item database
<pherricoxide> so when I tried to swipe my badge to log into things
<pherricoxide> it.. would display the price instead
-*- pherricoxide was worth $0.99
Comment: #wolf on irc.esper.net
#306433 (61/87) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Crowbar> grg: no it's not hemriaging, but it's not profitable.
<kyleman7> hemorrhaging
<grg> hemorrhoids
<spacey> just remember any word with 'rrh' in it is bad news.
<spacey> diarrhea, hemorrhaging, gonorrhea
<grg> rhinorrhagia
<grg> fancy word for nose bleed :D
<grg> Rhacophorus achantharrhena
<grg> a frog!
<spacey> frogs are bad news. Just ask the people at Jurassic Park
<grg> Collared Sparrowhawk (Accipiter cirrhocephalus)
<grg> lol... this one is the best
<grg> acephalorrhachia
<grg> "congenital absence of the head and spinal column"
<spacey> yeah, I'd say that's pretty bad news
#300545 (-39/147) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ice_cream> ok ok i'll chill
#309447 (104/116) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Spark> so guys
<Spark> in animal crossing
<Spark> characters sometimes take the first letter of your name
<Spark> and make a nickname
<Spark> for example, J-dog, or H-muffin or something
<Spark> well
<Spark> my character is named nick
<Spark> and someone decided it'd be a good idea
<Spark> to call me "N-word"
#309205 (80/102) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< radiofree> around the time the UK was planning to introduce id cards, i was walking down the high street and some hippy handed me a flyer "NO2ID", a campaign group opposed to government id cards, stating things like privacy etc...
< radiofree> at the bottom it said "Join our facebook group"
#310896 (22/42) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<+Rjx> the thing that bothers me most is the question mark
<+Thero> ?
#309009 (33/59) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Celti ambles off to locate comestibles.
<Godwinson> We've secretly replaced Celti's comestibles with combustibles, let's see if he notices!
<Godwinson> Does that mean that humans are powered by an internal comestion engine?
<Celti> Unlike an internal combustion engine, an internal comestion engine works better when you dump sugar into the gas tank.
#308049 (71/103) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> you can talk a population into going to war or domestic surveillance
<@Rjx> but free healthcare and legalizing harmless plants
<@Rjx> not quite as easy
#305896 (35/81) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<LowBatteryLife> Vengines.
<LowBatteryLife> A car that runs on anger.
#311199 (23/63) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<the_map> I'm a bit upset that bash.org doesn't have anything like, "Ursula sets mode -v Ariel"
#310814 (45/51) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<robin> everyone knows that CS undergrads are an excellent source of enterprise-grade software
<robin> they rigorously follow best practices
<robin> use advanced version control systems like copy&rename
<robin> and nothing clears up a confusing section of spaghetti code as well as /* drunk */
<muffin> robin: I used to attend some of the local CS undergrad meetups while in uni
<robin> muffin: orly?
<muffin> At that time I was learning some versioning practices that were supposed to alleviate my project issues at that time
<muffin> Anyway, I asked a few tips on git
<muffin> And one guy first asked me what git is. Then proceeded to tell me that I should use dropbox
<GeneralAntilles> wow
<GeneralAntilles> That's pretty pro.
#309709 (37/63) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wushin> Yeah, but I'm a sysadmin so to me, hacks, spam and other exploits are like pokemon and I got to catch them all.
#300986 (86/120) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@luke-jr_> what is the world coming to? Debian stable has a newer version of Perl than Gentoo testing.
#305948 (42/66) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<ttvd> these msvc error messages are so Zen
<ttvd> it's like a freaking koan, you get it, then you ponder on it for like forever
<ttvd> and then the answer is completely something else, totally not related
Comment: EFNet #C++
#310872 (24/44) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< wushin> bjorn not ded, bjorn is parent, parents are zombies because children are parasites
< wushin> Trust me, I'm someone's father.
< Kage> wushin: I would see a doctor about it
< wushin> We did several times.
< wushin> #KidsAreExpensive
#310576 (59/63) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@kitchen> I logged into yahoo account after probably 100 years of not. got email "unexpected login attempt" even yahoo wasn't expecting me to ever log in again
#309242 (59/83) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Elizacat> our government couldn't stop a baby from choking on a plastic bag if it was on the congressional floor
<Elizacat> half of the house would say the baby should be allowed to die
<Elizacat> from its own stupidity
<Elizacat> and the other half would be too busy attaching riders to the bill to take the bag off the baby's head
<Elizacat> so in the end, the bill to remove the bag from its head, would contain funding packages for at least 10 gov't agencies
<Elizacat> then the senate would bicker that it's GOP legislation to remove the bag and that there should be a total ban on all bags everywhere
<Elizacat> in the end a supreme court ruling would rule it's unconstitutional to remove the bag from the baby's head, rendering it moot
<Elizacat> during all this
<Elizacat> obama just stays silent
<Elizacat> and prefers to focus on the fiscal cliff
#305935 (35/71) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< JustBurn> that was only fun if we were still in the DOS ear
< JustBurn> *era
< abadidea> DOS ear? is that what you get if you play games which only use the beeper for too long
< abadidea> sorry, i can't hear you over the ringing, i have a bad case of dos ear ;<
Comment: #nesdev
#305207 (72/90) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<stump> I like working early, then after work I can do activities
<shifomg> wait, you have a life? when did that happen!?
<stump> I meant Legos
#302185 (48/86) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Stewart> One of my mates is trying to quit nicotine lozenges... by smoking
#309185 (187/195) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<lucky> i got into it with an asphalt contractor at work and then had his truck towed for being in a handicapped space.
<SatNiGHTS> did you shout at him "MENTAL HANDICAPS DON'T COUNT!"?
<lucky> the best part? the lines are barely visible because HE didn't paint them as he was hired to do last summer. so he didn't see them.
<lucky> he came storming in, scared my paraschiz resident (poor guy), and demanded he be "payed what he was owed for his time in August". i told him that according to our records, he was paid exactly what he was owed - in that, he was paid for what he did, not what the original contract said. He never re-striped the lot or sealed the south end of the cul de sac.
<lucky> he wouldn't shut up.  i asked him to leave. he didn't. i told him to leave. he didn't. i made his truck leave without him while he was making an irate phone call.
<myself> did he see it in mid-tow, or only after it was gone?
<lucky> mid tow. told him they regularly monitor the handicapped spaces, it is after all a senior community. his reply : "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE THE FUCKING SYMBOL!!!!" my reply: "my point exactly."
#308836 (66/72) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<aydiosmio> I don't anticipate the world moving away from keyboards any time soon for the sake of productivity
<nydel> aydiosmio: i think the world will split into people who use touch-screens & people who have shit to do
Comment: #2600 on irc.2600.net
#304895 (39/71) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< jMCg> With something's not right I meant: I just measured my temperature, and although I feel hot, it says 34.
< jMCg> I think I should try that again.
< jMCg> Much better results: 35.8
< jMCg> Lets see what it says when I put it in m
< apanek-work> ...
< jMCg> y tea.
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