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#310784 (-53/75) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Xena> just make sure to reduce your wildly using of things just because they are cool
<Xena> a filter like that will get you far
#310017 (21/89) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nardil>how do ya figure out a womams ring size without her knowing?
<nardil>can u tell by measuring her nipples?
#308993 (66/90) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PL> you really dont need pickup lines in Finland
<PL> It was really romantic how i met my wife
<PL> i found her puking at my bathroom (we had my friends 20yo party here)
<PL> that was love at first sight <3
#308226 (74/142) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jax184> A poem in Punctuation.
<Jax184> ^<@<.@* (Hat less at less point at star)
<Jax184> }"_# | (Backbrace double base pound space bar)
<Jax184> -@\$&/_% (Dash at cash and slash base rate)
<Jax184> !( @|=> (Wow open tab at bar is great)
<Jax184> ;`+\$?^? (Semi backquote plus cash huh DEL)
<Jax184> ,#"~|)^G (Command pound double tilde bar close BEL)
#304896 (53/105) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<red_delicious> slenderbot, you're growing up so fast!
#309073 (28/64) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kyre> thou shalt not lay out thine floating point in any way other than the direction specified by ieee 754Comment: #darkplaces
#310850 (-5/43) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Mr-Ben> Man, forgot about theguy finding God. A full week now.
<Samwise> He hasn't found him after a week?
<Mr-Ben> Evidentally not.   Probably still looking.
<zompist> one whole week of god. better crack a window...
<Samwise> Man, you can't just look in churches, either.
<Mr-Ben> Some people look at the bottoms of whiskey bottles.
<jacquilyn> You can't find God in the bottom of a whiskey bottle, by the time you get to the bottom, he's already been poured out into the glass...
#310743 (44/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<l0de> Notice to IT staff. As of today administrators are strictly forbidden from assigning passwords which are not randomly generated. Assigning users passwords which contain obfuscated political statements (example NRA43V3R! , 084^^4=L|Z4RD ) will be grounds for disciplinary action.
<l0de> so there's another thing I ruined for everyone
<l0de> for like 6 months straight I assigned every user the password: "password187!
<l0de> and everyone was logging into everyone else's accounts and creating havoc
<l0de> it was gr88
#309232 (39/75) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Odd> So someone from customer service at work forwarded me this e-mail:  "Thank you for the confirmation of my book order, but you can save yourself and me a lot of time by not blowing up your schemes to 'help the environment.'  What you call 'help the environment,' I call a Jewish communist plot to destroy nations and topple freedom.  So spare me the smug rhetoric."
#305654 (46/94) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<IMMJR> Nice knew name |xjojox|
<IMMJR> Don't quite understand what the |'s are for
<|xjojox|> so the x's dont fall off
#303253 (41/71) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Artifice> I'm a little confused as to how E=MC^2 though. If they cannot be converted, how can they be equivalent
<@jey> energy and matter can interconvert
<Artifice> That's what I thought
<ttvd> prove it
<Artifice> I'll book the LHC. The 12th work for you?
#311147 (24/50) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BaloneyGeek> TIL Samsung has a fashion division
<Fuchs> well, they make wearables
<BaloneyGeek> Also clothes, apparently
<BaloneyGeek> They also make military hardware
<BaloneyGeek> And they, in some capacity, were fundamental to the building of both the Petronas Twin Towers and the Mia Khalifa
<BaloneyGeek> Err... Burj Khalifa
#310968 (46/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Thugzilla> jesus
<Thugzilla> i just won the hardest battle of real life
<Thugzilla> internet was down all day, so i went upstairs knocked, [Redacted 1] answered and i told him to plug the ethernet cable back in
<Thugzilla> he didnt
<Thugzilla> 2 hours later i knocked again and no one answered, even tho i can hear footsteps
<Thugzilla> i knocked like 20 times still no one answers
<Thugzilla> i flip the breaker for their fridge and living room, go back upstairs, knock again and [Redacted 2] answers within 2 seconds
<Thugzilla> now my internet is back
#310864 (55/67) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Raven> Is it still Passover?
<Kyol> Is Jesus still dead?
<Morwen> No Kyol, thats what Easter was all about.
<Kyol> Ah. So let me see. He gets nailed to a tree on Good Friday, spends a few days in a cave, comes out on Easter.. Then  what?
<hockwork> if he sees his shadow, its another 6 weeks of winter
#310589 (35/41) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Walnut> Sonic the Hedgehog has never had a bad game
<Walnut> unrelated I have amnesia dating back to 1994
#309833 (39/51) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<heddwch> brb, taking out the trash as my moment of productivity for the day
#309616 (40/56) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Iambian> Remember kids, when someone offers you drugs, say "thank you" because drugs are expensive.
<xmc> correct
<xmc> and in today's challenging regulatory climate, drugs are a logistical hassle as well
#307605 (92/114) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<%Klima> Well
<%Klima> Holland seems like a weird country
<%Klima> I've been there once
<%Klima> To Amsterdam
<%Klima> and we slept on a boatel, a boat that is a hotel
<%Klima> That's weird
<%Klima> And people live in shipping containers turned into apartments
<%Klima> that's weird
<%Klima> We tried to take a boat to Amsterdam, and a small car with 3 wheels comes on it, with a DJ blasting techno music all the time
<%Klima> A live DJ, on the back of a small car
<%Klima> blasting techno music on a public boat, with a thousand people on it
<%Klima> and no one complained, they liked the music
<%Klima> the dj was half naked
<%Klima> that was weird
<%Klima> So we get to the red light district, and this was at around 10 o' clock in the morning, and it just STANK
<%Klima> Man
<%Klima> that smell was horrid
<%Klima> It just smelled of semen and poo
<%Klima> so that was weird
<%Klima> We get to a small street where on one side, there are window hookers
<%Klima> on the other side
<%Klima> there's a fucking KINDERGARDEN
<%Klima> Amsterdam is just the weirdest place I've ever been
#307362 (77/111) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<~Trixar_za> We should make a drink right
<~Trixar_za> And name it "Responsibly"
#302973 (52/70) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Suzuran: Was was the name of that one site where people copypaste bullshit and show it to other people?
nly: oh I think you mean The Internet
Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
#310342 (21/47) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< cbreak> if the C++ committee was lead by Microsoft's Excel team... auto would be called car in the english version of C++.
#309708 (67/87) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Mich is now known as mich
<TB> Little mich
<TB> I don't understand the need to change from M to m
<Tibby> he ran into a goomba
#305699 (50/62) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Erik> Alright.
<Erik> I'm writing a script that checks my instant messenger logs every couple entries.
<Erik> And if the ratio of Youtube links to actual messages exceeds 20%, it tells me I can't be friends with that person anymore.
#310170 (51/57) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kmc> it's depressing how many security holes have the root cause that "int" is a lot shorter to type than "unsigned int"
#311210 (29/37) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
windsor: I am beginning to think the only way for anyone from my generation to accomplish some goal (weight loss, driver's license, change of opinion, etc). is for them to feverishly document the entire process on social networking sites.
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