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#310732 (47/53) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<camel> > Do you have a full-time job? > No > We're sorry, you do not qualify for this survey.
<camel> Why the fuck would I be doing a $2 30 minute survey
<camel> if I had a full time job
#310654 (18/48) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jigsy^Vol> My favorite episode of Star Wars was when Kirk got assimilated by the Darleks.
#310629 (65/71) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TonyTheLemur> they tested our tornado siren a couple mornings ago
<Glaug-Eldare> did she attract any tornadoes
Comment: #foxie
#310585 (27/37) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< rycuda> Well, turns out that I need glasses
< BrainoMite> rycuda, walk into the wall again?
< rycuda> BrainoMite: close, I walked into an optician
#310561 (30/38) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> I've got NP problems. But P ain't one.
#310545 (117/149) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<excron> When I mentioned IRC to my therapist he put away his notebook and got out his calendar.
#310496 (40/48) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
danlamanna: god
danlamanna: watching cspan online instead of on tv requires you to sign-in to your cable package
danlamanna: I can't even watch my own government fuck me for free
#310474 (84/92) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TheHackOps> I thought i was paranoid because I encrypt all my business emails
<TheHackOps> Get a letter from ISP asking why i am doing it
<TheHackOps> So yep
<TheHackOps> Some desert island is looking pretty good guys
Comment: irc.freenode.net ##security
#310413 (68/74) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(aaaaaaaaa) I know people at work that actually store files in the recycle bin. As in, they store files they plan to use in the future there. IT had to stop deleting files from it because of people's work was getting lost and had to be restored from the backups.
#310343 (45/57) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< yates> let me read and then perhaps ask more intelligent questions.
< o11c> pretty sure that's never happened in this channel before ^
Comment: freenode ##c++
#310171 (66/86) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kmc> I like telling people who've only used high level languages about the bizarre forms of undefined behavior in C, and then ending it with "this language and its relatives are used for most systems in planes, cars, medical devices, nuclear reactors, etc."
#309987 (46/70) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<agocs_work> It's like the US's war debt to france
<agocs_work> "Nope, we don't owe _you_, we owe the old French monarchy!"
<agocs_work> sux2bu4revolting
<r4v5> if you liked it then you shoulda kept a king on it
#309662 (75/91) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<b2coutts> so apparently, when your laptop doesn't boot any more, the solution is to boot into your arch live ISO, look at your partitions, and reboot
<jj2baile> observation causes a change in the system!
<sharvey> clearly you have quantum linux
#309610 (27/39) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@dfdashh> divVerent: all new in oracle 12c - auto-increment columns :P
<@divVerent> now I finally know why they had to buy MySQL
Comment: #xonotic
#309463 (55/75) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rays0re> i caught myself a beetle
<Rays0re> he's in my hand
<Rays0re> what should i name him?
<Deepy> If you got a tight grip, name him Beetlejuice
#309379 (112/130) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< V0id> one advantage of a complicated root password is can't type it when drunk
#309357 (46/64) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sorts> Mind. Blown.
<pooryoric> ...What a charmingly tiny explosion. :P
#311027 (33/59) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
23:59 <@swight> My daughter just asked why we say "hang up" the phone
Day changed to 31 Dec 2015
00:00 <@swight> and now you should feel old
Comment: EFNet
#310390 (29/73) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TheBadSpoon> to explain reddit, it's basically a large anus comprised of many sub-anuses
#309421 (23/45) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<luz> i'm dizzy and it hurts to breathe
<LAMMJohnson> luz: Lay down and stop breathing
#307886 (40/92) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<glxblt> the car won't start
<glxblt> 45min until booze store closes
<GargajCNS> cant you just order via the internet
<peppupupu> yeah
<glxblt> this is no time for jokes people, there's not a drop of booze in the house
<glxblt> okay, the car will maybe start if I let it be in the charger for 15 minutes
<glxblt> then I'll drive around for 15 minutes and that'll leave me 15 minutes to get the booze.
<glxblt> shit shit shit, if I don't drive around for the 15 minutes I will be stuck at the store parking lot
<glxblt> hmmm
<glxblt> maybe if take a risk and leave my car running
<glxblt> i will so fucking order a taxi if my car doesn't start in a while
<glxblt> i need to get drunk today
Comment: Finland.
#307294 (32/72) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
M4arin: brb
Rwa: again?
Rwa: you need to start telling me what you're ditching me for, i'm bored.
Rwa: or maybe, you're not afk at all. you're probably sitting there, in front of your computer, getting annoyed by the new-message-on-steam sound as you try to focus on whatever porn you're watching and jacking off to?
M4arin: fuck you
M4arin is now Offline.
#310960 (50/82) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< wushin> Well then you should also know that's considered a stereotype.
< o11c> You know what they say about stereotypes.
< gumi> What do they say?
< o11c> They're twice as big as monotypes.
#309264 (101/123) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Xenesis> Hell of a first sentence in a news article: "The government of Honduras sacks its ambassador to Colombia after the embassy was reportedly robbed by prostitutes during a drunken Christmas party. "
#309228 (14/50) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<arieldanielle> There's an apartment complex in which a dead girl was found recently
<arieldanielle> Now they have a sign outside advertising "killer leasing specials"
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