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#188054 (-22/130) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<amorph> whats your girlfriends ass got in common with a 9V battery?
<amorph> you know its wrong, but sooner or later youre gonna put your tongue on it :D
#185748 (-11/61) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dude-O> Jesus should have a facebook and a Myspace. And his myspace isn't cluttered with shitty animated gifs, flash, and other crap that makes other people's computers melt.
#185553 (-19/67) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<scalar> I just found the platic bag that my ex-girlfriend used to keep my first gray hair
#311421 (67/81) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<CaptainJistuce> I am still waging a linguistic battle against that use of the term fixed. Surely an animal works as intended before the procedure, which renders a major subsystem inoperational. They are broken afterwards.
#310739 (24/50) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
* Nach0z has quit (Ping timeout: 240 seconds)
<Glorfindel> noooooooooooooooooooooo. my foooood!!!
#304873 (37/81) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jake|E5400> There's spaghetti in the southbridge
<Jake|E5400> and steak on my CD
<Jake|E5400> I kid you not
<Jake|E5400> I just dropped a steak on my XP install disk
<~tidux> lol
* Jake|E5400 wipes it off
<ll_TankPad> Windows XP Medium Rare Edition
Comment: #wtfpwnt on irc.rubbermallet.org
#239514 (15/45) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<iMaal> wtf
<iMaal> i listened half the metallica album with no sound on :D
#299924 (25/61) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Funkmob> He's replaced Coke with Code... he does hundreds of lines a night.
#311400 (23/51) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<steve> so there was this documentation for Structured bonds missing
<steve> apparently someone has labeled the document as SRUCTured bonds
<steve> inside the document there was a link to a SQL query
<steve> but whenever you clicked it it would show title bar of the window only
<steve> when you resized it to see the query, you would see the window is empty
<steve> but somehow copy and paste worked and you could copy from empty window
<steve> in editor you would get two queries
<steve> one for version 3.1.29 and newer and one for versions prior to 3.1.29
<steve> we had 3.1.29, so OBVIOUSLY the one working was the older one
<steve> lost 3 hours because of this
<steve> this is some new level of fuckery
#311314 (91/125) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jigsy> So is it possible to restore the United States from a backup?
#310812 (11/33) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<robin> it probably is adobe's fault
<robin> i bet you could measure the dollar cost of adobe security breaches
<robin> then calculate the amount of funding that programs like food stamps would have received had productivity not been wasted on adobe security breaches
<robin> pretty sure acrobat reader and flash are responsible for child hunger
#306827 (56/94) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
PokerFace: 12++ = 7503840
XoNiC: unlikely.
PokerFace: thats what the instrument says
PokerFace: only happens when compiled for sh3
PokerFace: its fine in x86
XoNiC: That's what sh3 said.
#311434 (61/75) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<truck> DDT was stopped by police once "why are you here"
<truck> he showed his phone playing ingress
<truck> "I am a network technician, I am scanning this area for wireless problems"
<truck> "ok then"
<truck> police drive off
#311083 (15/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@DigDug> in russia you're now going to get fined for sharing instructions on how to use a vpn or otherwise avoid the countrywide firewall
<@|silicon> apt-get install openvpn
<@|silicon> bam
<@|silicon> :o
<@normod> shut up |silicon, you'll get fired
<@|silicon> fired from what?
<@|silicon> please don't say a canon into the sun
<@DigDug> |silicon: that will be 50000 rubles
* normod furiously pushes backspace
<@|silicon> is that a gay couple kissing and dumping vodka into street?
* |silicon runs
#299949 (40/76) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Joe: Tommy's room is right next to mine and the walls are really thin
Joe: Every time I hear him start yelling at his friends over Xbox Live when I am trying to sleep
Joe: I release the IP address on our router
#310594 (8/48) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<rymate1234> z33k33 is trolling imo
<walle303> s/troll/z33k33
<PikalaxALT> walle303: rymate1234 actually meant: z33k33 is z33k33ing imo
<walle303> A sleeping POKeMON blocks the way!
<Renb> s/^.*$/butts/
<PikalaxALT> Renb: walle303 actually meant: butts
<Renb> s/^.*$/\nQUIT :butts/
<PikalaxALT> Renb: PikalaxALT actually meant:
* PikalaxALT has quit (Quit: butts)
<Renb> LOL
Comment: abusing a sed script.
#309432 (11/61) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Dacon_> you're messed up
<Huggles> how is this new information
<Dacon_> just feels like something you need to be reminded of
<Huggles> i feel through a floor and my car is full of bees
<Huggles> i dont need to be reminded
#309218 (10/56) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@TheGiz> I think one day I'm going to invent a peripheral for games to drive home just how violent they are
<@TheGiz> Like a boxing glove on a spring and when you lose a fight in the game an on-screen prompt will instruct you to take your lumps like a man
<@TheGiz> And if you DON'T do it, then it'll wait until you're asleep and R2-D2 roll into your bedroom and sock you then
<@TheGiz> Gonna admit
<@TheGiz> I really just want to spend the rest of my life designing robots that punch people in the face
<@TheGiz> Either as video game peripherals
<@TheGiz> Enhanced interrogation machines
<@TheGiz> Gladiator Bloodsports
<@TheGiz> whatever
#309108 (24/50) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<~derpcat> iirc some reports from chernobyl said people tasted metal when there was radiation
<@Alias> Chernobyl was a graphite cooled reactor.
<@Alias> So that's easy to explain away
<~derpcat> well, it does go with the idea of communism
<~derpcat> this radiation belongs to all of us in equal measure
#305512 (68/102) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<snaphat> what does ({}) mean?
<snaphat> i tried googling and google doesn't even know
<NN> snaphat: Unless I'm quite mistaken, female genetalia.
<snaphat> thats what I thought, but I i've never seen it before
#301667 (40/84) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Knoeki> My penis runs Linux.
<Knoeki> It has a high uptime, works well under load, but when load gets too high, it dumps it's core and reboots :_D
* iamalion formats Knoeki's penis and installs windows 95
<iamalion> not anymore BUHAHAHA
<Knoeki> iamalion: yeah, but now you can play more games with it ;_)
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
#296660 (8/38) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
[@Aetos]: so the point of this channel is A) talk to people of similiar interest, B) Make fun of Aetos
#308292 (52/80) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<%K-man> Simmml: there's a saying... "It's pointless to alt-tab porn... if your other window is also porn..." :P
<Simmml> hehe That's the problem ;P
<Simmml> What works too is just switching the screen off.... or locking the door... or getting your own apartment...
<Simmml> although closing windows and tabs will not help much I think considering that you're still sitting infront of your pc without pants on? ;)
<%K-man> ahhh.. yes... the single hardest choice every young boy eventually has to make in his life.... hide the porn or hide the penis....
<Simmml> cruel world ;P
<%K-man> at that point, you learn the art of "fap shui".. the art of rearranging your room so that you don't have to hide anything if anyone bursts is.
<%K-man> it's a legit ancient art I swear...
<%K-man> perfected by horny ninjas...
#308202 (55/105) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@Nanobot> Roses are dead, violets are too, sugar is usually high fructose corn syrup, and we could both have equally stable relationships with countless other partners.
<@Moon_Dog3VO> ...
<@Nanobot> I think I got the meter off a bit
<@Moon_Dog3VO> maybe
#305843 (11/49) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Murphy: I noticed something this morning. when we were at the funeral home, before they brought him out to the hearse, they said a prayer
Murphy: the our father
Murphy: and apparently, when you have about 40-50 people mumbling the our father
Murphy: it sounds exactly like Frank's voice from Donnie Darko
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