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#310850 (-4/44) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Mr-Ben> Man, forgot about theguy finding God. A full week now.
<Samwise> He hasn't found him after a week?
<Mr-Ben> Evidentally not.   Probably still looking.
<zompist> one whole week of god. better crack a window...
<Samwise> Man, you can't just look in churches, either.
<Mr-Ben> Some people look at the bottoms of whiskey bottles.
<jacquilyn> You can't find God in the bottom of a whiskey bottle, by the time you get to the bottom, he's already been poured out into the glass...
#310743 (44/56) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<l0de> Notice to IT staff. As of today administrators are strictly forbidden from assigning passwords which are not randomly generated. Assigning users passwords which contain obfuscated political statements (example NRA43V3R! , 084^^4=L|Z4RD ) will be grounds for disciplinary action.
<l0de> so there's another thing I ruined for everyone
<l0de> for like 6 months straight I assigned every user the password: "password187!
<l0de> and everyone was logging into everyone else's accounts and creating havoc
<l0de> it was gr88
#309232 (39/75) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Odd> So someone from customer service at work forwarded me this e-mail:  "Thank you for the confirmation of my book order, but you can save yourself and me a lot of time by not blowing up your schemes to 'help the environment.'  What you call 'help the environment,' I call a Jewish communist plot to destroy nations and topple freedom.  So spare me the smug rhetoric."
#305654 (47/95) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<IMMJR> Nice knew name |xjojox|
<IMMJR> Don't quite understand what the |'s are for
<|xjojox|> so the x's dont fall off
#303253 (42/72) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Artifice> I'm a little confused as to how E=MC^2 though. If they cannot be converted, how can they be equivalent
<@jey> energy and matter can interconvert
<Artifice> That's what I thought
<ttvd> prove it
<Artifice> I'll book the LHC. The 12th work for you?
#311147 (24/50) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<BaloneyGeek> TIL Samsung has a fashion division
<Fuchs> well, they make wearables
<BaloneyGeek> Also clothes, apparently
<BaloneyGeek> They also make military hardware
<BaloneyGeek> And they, in some capacity, were fundamental to the building of both the Petronas Twin Towers and the Mia Khalifa
<BaloneyGeek> Err... Burj Khalifa
#310968 (48/58) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Thugzilla> jesus
<Thugzilla> i just won the hardest battle of real life
<Thugzilla> internet was down all day, so i went upstairs knocked, [Redacted 1] answered and i told him to plug the ethernet cable back in
<Thugzilla> he didnt
<Thugzilla> 2 hours later i knocked again and no one answered, even tho i can hear footsteps
<Thugzilla> i knocked like 20 times still no one answers
<Thugzilla> i flip the breaker for their fridge and living room, go back upstairs, knock again and [Redacted 2] answers within 2 seconds
<Thugzilla> now my internet is back
#310864 (56/70) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Raven> Is it still Passover?
<Kyol> Is Jesus still dead?
<Morwen> No Kyol, thats what Easter was all about.
<Kyol> Ah. So let me see. He gets nailed to a tree on Good Friday, spends a few days in a cave, comes out on Easter.. Then  what?
<hockwork> if he sees his shadow, its another 6 weeks of winter
#310589 (37/43) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Walnut> Sonic the Hedgehog has never had a bad game
<Walnut> unrelated I have amnesia dating back to 1994
#309833 (40/52) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<heddwch> brb, taking out the trash as my moment of productivity for the day
#309616 (41/57) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Iambian> Remember kids, when someone offers you drugs, say "thank you" because drugs are expensive.
<xmc> correct
<xmc> and in today's challenging regulatory climate, drugs are a logistical hassle as well
#307605 (94/116) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<%Klima> Well
<%Klima> Holland seems like a weird country
<%Klima> I've been there once
<%Klima> To Amsterdam
<%Klima> and we slept on a boatel, a boat that is a hotel
<%Klima> That's weird
<%Klima> And people live in shipping containers turned into apartments
<%Klima> that's weird
<%Klima> We tried to take a boat to Amsterdam, and a small car with 3 wheels comes on it, with a DJ blasting techno music all the time
<%Klima> A live DJ, on the back of a small car
<%Klima> blasting techno music on a public boat, with a thousand people on it
<%Klima> and no one complained, they liked the music
<%Klima> the dj was half naked
<%Klima> that was weird
<%Klima> So we get to the red light district, and this was at around 10 o' clock in the morning, and it just STANK
<%Klima> Man
<%Klima> that smell was horrid
<%Klima> It just smelled of semen and poo
<%Klima> so that was weird
<%Klima> We get to a small street where on one side, there are window hookers
<%Klima> on the other side
<%Klima> there's a fucking KINDERGARDEN
<%Klima> Amsterdam is just the weirdest place I've ever been
#307362 (77/111) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<~Trixar_za> We should make a drink right
<~Trixar_za> And name it "Responsibly"
#302973 (52/70) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
Suzuran: Was was the name of that one site where people copypaste bullshit and show it to other people?
nly: oh I think you mean The Internet
Comment: #ShrineMaiden@ppirc
#310342 (21/47) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< cbreak> if the C++ committee was lead by Microsoft's Excel team... auto would be called car in the english version of C++.
#309708 (71/91) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
* Mich is now known as mich
<TB> Little mich
<TB> I don't understand the need to change from M to m
<Tibby> he ran into a goomba
#305699 (50/62) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Erik> Alright.
<Erik> I'm writing a script that checks my instant messenger logs every couple entries.
<Erik> And if the ratio of Youtube links to actual messages exceeds 20%, it tells me I can't be friends with that person anymore.
#310170 (53/59) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<kmc> it's depressing how many security holes have the root cause that "int" is a lot shorter to type than "unsigned int"
#311210 (31/39) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
windsor: I am beginning to think the only way for anyone from my generation to accomplish some goal (weight loss, driver's license, change of opinion, etc). is for them to feverishly document the entire process on social networking sites.
#310713 (50/66) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Somasis> peter anvin has a pet python named perl
<tanderson> since it's a python, perl can C its tail, but because of the forked tongue it speaks with a lisp; his mother Julia always corrected him, but unfortunately was bash'ed in the head by an accidentally dropped cup of java.
<Somasis> oh my god
<tanderson> Thank you, I'll be here all week
<Somasis> that was just criminal
<tanderson> He was sed for a time, but decided to go forth and ultimately met Ada, gave her a ruby ring, and lived happily ever after.
<Somasis> STOP
#309716 (97/125) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<LAMMJohnson> So here's my point;
<MarisaKirisame> that's a semicolon
Comment: #/g/sicp on irc.rizon.net
#305552 (53/75) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Millions> wafn has nothing because he is a decrepit fraud whose only claim to fame is sustenance on cat food in abandoned libraries in the jungle
<wafn> I never ate cat food fuck you
<Millions> why not
<wafn> no can opener
#303989 (20/42) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<MurderMachine> Okay so,
<MurderMachine> My resits so far
<MurderMachine> Have been interesting.
<Magnus> orly
<MurderMachine> Yes.
<MurderMachine> I had a question about yeast and part of it was to list why it can be bad for humans.
<MurderMachine> To start with, I rambled on about yeast infections, thrush, etc., but then I really wanted more.
<MurderMachine> So I wracked my brains and wrote, I shit you not:
<MurderMachine> "Well, if you think about it, yeast indirectly contributes to alcohol abuse. Alcoholism, and therefore yeast, destroys lives."
<MurderMachine> Even if they don't see the funny side, it's a valid point.
#300740 (46/80) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
#309171 (69/95) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<aji> suppose that X is the most annoying thing
<Brando753> ok
<aji> let Y be "nerds arguing about X"
<aji> by the Brando753 principle, Y is more annoying than X
<aji> therefore, no such X can exist
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