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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..83848586878889..596Next> |
#297299 (94/200) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< juliaNYC> a tanning bed is like a huge ezbake oven right? |
#297048 (238/356) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+August> speaking of which, mom yelled at me the other day for not having a flying carpet in WoW.
<+August> i was like mom, my tailoring isn't high enough.
<+August> she was like "well get on it!" |
#277318 (331/471) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dioz> god damn i need to shit
<dioz> woops
<dioz> does anyone else have the constant problem of typing into the wrong terminal?
* azn_jesus wonders what the right terminal for that was |
#296005 (169/311) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Elista> still..being pissy.
<kaiser> your website has PMS?
<Elista> just the gallery
<Emperor_Nick> The server leaks packets once a month, kaiser
<kaiser> that will take some time till we get to see anything then, nick
<Emperor_Nick> Hehehe
<Chi-Yu> Ah. Coppermine.
<Emperor_Nick> "You don't ping me as much as you used to! You've been eyeing that new blade server! What's wrong, is my core sagging? You want one of those perky young quad core clusters? Asshole!"
<Emperor_Nick> "Please calm down!"
<Emperor_Nick> "SO NOW I'M BEING ILLOGICAL?" |
#294981 (225/353) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<darkeLite> hmm
<darkeLite> what's another good search engine
<AtUnionWithKi> google it |
#227397 (392/506) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
newts: This VIP branch is complaining that it's network connections seem to be down ATM.
newts: We failed them to the backup systems which are also not responding.
newts: We failed them to the tertiary systems (they're VIP).
newts: Suddenly it's mentioned that they're in the middle of a hurricane.
newts: Huh.
newts: Wonder if that could be the problem. |
#294213 (258/504) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Plasma-Fox> Yo mama's so stupid, when I asked her opinion of quantum chromodynamics as a non-abelian gauge theory, she thought the only group of massless quarks was SUL(Nf) x SUR(Nf) x UB(1) x UA(1). |
#212804 (-6/542) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[21:49:27] * lauanana (lauanana@212-198-248-33.rev.numericable.fr) has joined #iwbtg
[21:49:34] * lauanana has quit ()
* Kayin sets ban on *!*@*.frComment: Never join a channel and leave within 7 seconds of no replies, or your whole country gets banned.
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#145733 (246/364) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<chutwig> there's something about college that dramatically increases detachment from reality
<Luigi30> chutwig: pot? |
#297663 (176/334) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<~mooodi> you know how some people are wearing one white glove as a tribute to MJ?
<~mooodi> we should all grow billy mayes beards |
#297593 (-7/483) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@|silicon> When Farrah Fawcett arrived at heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children to be safe. So God killed Michael Jackson.Comment: #geekissues
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#297589 (35/389) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ooops> WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DISNEY MOVIES AND MICHAEL JACKSON
<ooops> DISNEY MOVIES CAN STILL TOUCH KIDSComment: #themaxx on efnet
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#297507 (147/367) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[+Rickmasta] What would you say is the main chinese religion?
[~knoeki] Rickmasta: opression?Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
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#296772 (444/564) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so i got a good story for all of you
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yesterday the supreme bitch brought in her home laptop because i needed to set it up for remote access
<Kayeffem|wrkin> while it was here she decided to bitch about how the screen isnt used up all the way and there are spaces on the sides
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now this is a 17" widescreen laptop
<Kayeffem|wrkin> and it's being used at the max widescreen resolution
<Kayeffem|wrkin> as i play around with it i notice that there's nothing wrong and the screen is just fine
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so she tells me to goto the internet and goto a webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> where i find out her real problem
<Kayeffem|wrkin> the websites that she likes to visit dont expand to fit multiple resolutions
<Kayeffem|wrkin> thus causing empty space to the left and right of the main webpage
<Kayeffem|wrkin> now apparently this is a big enough problem for her that she's going to purchase a second laptop that's smaller
<Kayeffem|wrkin> so that the websites will take up the full screen with no gaps
<JackWat|Lap> HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA
<JackWat|Lap> Kayeffem|wrkin: thats fuckin crazy
<Adam^2> crazy bitch is crazy
<Kayeffem|wrkin> yea, i almost asked her if she was fucking with me |
#295235 (141/271) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* P2E is definitely not an expert
<derf> That makes two of us.
<P2E> uh, yeah, but I'm even less of an expert than that
<derf> There's only one way to fix that.
<P2E> aw, but reading is so HARD
<derf> No, I meant do stupid things repeatedly until you learn something.Comment: #vorbis
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#156995 (201/367) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tatsh> in my fantasy house there's going to be a road made of thick glass to drive on
<Tatsh> that's lit with all these colours
<Tatsh> like a mile long track
<Tatsh> of glass
<Tatsh> a real-life rainbow road
<Tatsh> it'll be so sick
<Tatsh> and i would definitely do some shrooms and drive on it |
#297640 (349/697) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Cronos> Farrah Fawcett dies, and goes to Heaven.
<Cronos> God says to her "You've been such a good sport, I'll let you have one wish."
<Cronos> She wishes for all the children of the world to be safe.
<Cronos> Michael Jackson appears beside her.
<Cronos> God says to Michael "You've also been a good sport for this, you may have a wish as well."
<Cronos> He wishes not to be black in Heaven.
<Cronos> Billy Mays shows up beside him with a bottle of Oxiclean |
#297499 (8/338) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[~binarybandit] What did the Buddha say to the hot dog vendor? "Make me one with everything."Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
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#297492 (135/349) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[%slew] RAM: Used: 1337/2559MB (52% Load)
[%slew] i had to open 9 instances of paint and 3 of notepad to get it right :\Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
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#297486 (188/356) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[~Knoeki] a guy comes with a piece of paper with tubgirl printed on it.
[~Knoeki] showing it to me to shock me or something
[~Knoeki] so I looked at him asking why he'd show me
[~Knoeki] and he was like "wtf?!" because I diddn't seem disgusted at all ;_)
[KillerGeek] Did you show him goatse to try to shock him back?
[~Knoeki] nah, I just told him to find me something more recent to jack off to.Comment: #zomgwtfbbq, irc.p2p-network.net
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#195581 (247/373) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<titaniumone> A customer came into Best Buy and very clearly asked me where the "Black CD's" were. I assumed he was just your average ignorant racist so I brought him to the rap section, at which point he freaked out and had me get a manager so he could get me fired for being racist. |
#223678 (209/359) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<CtrlAltDestroy> 'Sup CMK
<@CMK> ^ That direction.
<@CMK> <_<
<CtrlAltDestroy> Not if I turn my monitor
<CtrlAltDestroy> LIKE THIS!!! |
#218759 (265/385) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dapho> we have so much in common
<dapho> he's always either playing wow or reading fantasy novels
<dapho> and I'm always either feeling sorry for myself or reading fantasy novels |
#200370 (210/378) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Cynic: it looks like a flashlight but on the inside instead of batteries and a lightbulb, there's a synthetic vagina!
Elven: ...
Dexi: they also have anus and mouth
Dexi: not just va-
Dexi: i mean... i have no idea what types of orifices they offer! |
#193445 (706/892) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@pomo|wii> So, funny story. I don't know if it's true or not, but according to my public speaking professor, it is.
<@pomo|wii> So, a few people decide to throw a party and decide to inflate a few blow-up dolls with helium to have floating around the house.
<@pomo|wii> Now, everything's going well, until apparently some of these dolls escape into the night sky via an open door/window/something
<@pomo|wii> According to what he told us, a woman a few blocks down saw these dolls and thought that the rapture was occuring, and people were floating away into heaven
<@pomo|wii> so this woman RUNS INTO THE STREET, screaming to be taken with them, only to be hit and killed by a car |
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