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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..81828384858687..596Next> |
#295497 (45/227) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ilanbg> I have never heard either of those phrases used
<celeste> black people say "he's my boy"
<ilanbg> black people don't say that
<celeste> uh yeah they do
<ilanbg> you don't even know any black people!
<celeste> yes i doooo
<ilanbg> name one
<celeste> i don' tknow his name : ( |
#297943 (284/444) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< gloone> ok
< gloone> remember when i said i loved windows 7
< gloone> that was 2 blue screens agoComment: #geekissues
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#297849 (386/562) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mistah_j> If you watch porn in reverse it's about a guy who vacuums jizz of a woman's face and then takes his Pizza back to work |
#296954 (457/581) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@robodex> you know what's sad? there's another guy in the GTA with the same name as me. And my name isn't common.
<@robodex> and from what I can tell, he's cooler, better looking and more popular than I am
<@robodex> you know how that feels? It's like one of those movies where you're off trying to stop your evil clone
<@robodex> but in the end, you find out
<@robodex> you're the evil clone |
#296886 (158/266) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SaxxonPike> Final Fantasy 10... as far as I can tell, the number is a rating determined by how much the men look like women
<SaxxonPike> it's just a coincidence they are being released sequentially |
#295376 (165/271) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kryptik> Yugioh?
<DBSK> Yush
<Kryptik> What are you in, middle school?
<mistah_j> yugioh was a fad at the high school I used to go to
<mistah_j> like there was a table full of yugioh nerds who played it all through lunch
<mistah_j> I'd see them and think "haha, what a bunch of fucking losers"
<mistah_j> then I'd go home and hack nes roms
<mistah_j> :D |
#279192 (221/321) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ahrotahntee> I found the most horrid naming convention today
<Ahrotahntee> and what's hilarious is it doesn't sound like a bad idea until you come across this specific example
<Ahrotahntee> I work with an AS/400 computer along with Icy on some days, they don't support long names
<Ahrotahntee> so I found a username or library name or something that was for an assistant (abbrievated ASST) Amer. The log entry read: 42 files changed by/in ASSTAMER |
#235848 (240/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jeribot> hahah that reminds me dudes
<Jeribot> one of my students today for their pirate journal entry?
<Jeribot> wrote about "captain tupac, who was killed by a sail-by cannoning" |
#192072 (128/338) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jiro> I've used a lubed banana before..
<Wolven> ...
<TR> Jiro... tmi
<TR> Although I bet you couldnt do it half as well with the skin off :P
<Jiro> actually it was with the skin off..
* Calus has entered #Northernfurs
<Jiro> I got it in, clenched & broke the damn thing in half & had to go to the toilet to shit out half a banana
* Calus has left #NorthernfursComment: #NorthernFurs on FurNet
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#181576 (66/198) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@rob> the trolls that are in #flirts are internet trolls. stacy`` is the kind of troll that lives in the ground and under bridges and asks tolls of people passing over her
<@Phrang> oh, i've heard of that profession. |
#171592 (203/353) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jonis> fuckit
<Jonis> going out for a pack of fags
<stan> leaving efnet to find a pack of fags? seems counterproductive.Comment: efnet #ampedout
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#150696 (153/307) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Pan Man 120: so in indonesia right
Pan Man 120: they cook monkeys
Pan Man 120: but i dont get how they prepare it
Pan Man 120: because theres no wrong way to eat a rhesus |
#150103 (138/250) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< avar> hrm, arthur c clarke really did die
< infi> avar: er, yes. did you think it was a hoax?
< avar> infi: it usually is
< infi> GumbyBRAIN: Any sufficiently advanced hoax is indistinguishable from the truth. |
#118721 (515/633) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ElGarlic: Spending your life waiting for the messiah to come save the world is like waiting around for the straight piece to come in Tetris.
ElGarlic: Even if it comes, by that time you've accumulated a mountain of shit so high that you're fucked no matter what you do. |
#105614 (131/261) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Dexi: i just realized something fucking stupid
Dexi: and that took a while
Dexi: during 2nd period today
Dexi: this is more than 12 hours ago
Dexi: I had a girl put her number in my phone
Dexi: and told her to let me know when she wants to do something
Dexi: ...
Dexi: dammit i'm dumb AND slow. |
#297777 (100/308) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jimmiejaz> Doctors in Singapore say the virus that causes severe acute respiratory syndrome (SARS) is present in the tears of patients with the disease.
<syberghost> Cry me a fever. |
#295495 (33/321) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MyKe> have you ever ejaculated into a frying pan
<Cibby> yes |
#272777 (564/816) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Mango: I still haven't fixed my speakers and I wanted to watch a movie.
Mango: So I set the sound card to record from output,
Mango: used a softphone program to call my VoIP phone,
Mango: and had it play the movie to me over the phone.
Mango: God, I love being a geek :)
PID1|work: So Mango, you can truthfully say you have a hot actress on the phone just now? |
#197703 (281/445) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<withnail> well, i suppose that whatever happened, at least i'll always have my memories
<withnail> and by memories i mean naked photos of her |
#297797 (180/302) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hypr> whats it called when u mix 2 tracks together
<teletitty> mixing? |
#297796 (198/350) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Xerol|Work> customer wants to buy an "external processor"
<Xerol|Work> i want to buy a "gun"
<Xerol|Work> and "shoot myself"
<Warchamp7> You don't carry external processors?
<Xerol|Work> not ones that go in the "USA Port" |
#297794 (1324/1462) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<XenThra> I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
<DevXen> Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick. |
#297793 (289/389) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TrumpetSamurai> That's it? Tongue piercing? Psh. My "rebellious moment" in college overturned an authoritarian government in South America. |
#297784 (5/261) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Alice> what's the most turned-on you guys have ever been?
<Bob> first time i seen my current girlfriend naked.. handjob, blowjob and titjob.. god damn.
<Carlos> Bob: you mean you jerked off her tit? does that even feel good for girls? |
#297782 (174/356) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kitsuta> Holy jeez this alcohol has a lot of alcohol in it |
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