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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..86878889909192..596Next> |
#296967 (621/751) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> The higher the IQ of the individual...
<Pryoidain> The more they enjoy watching a robot drive into a wall at top speed. |
#296965 (131/341) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MiracleBlue> Oh ffs
<MiracleBlue> Something smells like piss
<MiracleBlue> As in, dog piss.
<Looie> got a dog?
<MiracleBlue> I've got 2.
<Looie> BINGO |
#295480 (1701/1901) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Tenor> 'Today, my mom found a condom in my pocket while doing my laundry. Instead of having the subsequent discussion about the birds and the bees my mother simply asked "Who would have sex with you?" FML'
<@Tenor> I'm going to be that type of parent
<@hsimah> who would have sex with you? |
#296825 (214/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Oddlot: I guess I might have to re-install windows.
FuzzyPlushroom: Whose is it?
Oddlot: Joannas.
Oddlot: My cousins friends friend.
FuzzyPlushroom: she's paying you, then? :P
Oddlot: If she is, in weed.
Oddlot: Either that, or a bj, whichever works.
FuzzyPlushroom: Congratulations. You're officially a goddamn stoner.
Oddlot: Yeah.
Oddlot: I figured that much out. |
#296752 (185/345) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Heratique: i should go to bed
Heratique: goddammit I lack even the motivation to sleep!
Yuzaan: wow
Yuzaan: my kinda woman |
#296750 (246/536) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Zerox: are you black
Eris: yes
Zerox: tell me the truth
Eris: I took a quiz online
Eris: it told me I'm black |
#296747 (304/534) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rewt3d> somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers |
#296744 (233/425) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+k0tash> I once had a hard drive clunk-clicking
<+k0tash> Strange noises, wierd sounds and tick-ticking
<+k0tash> I thought I would wait
<+k0tash> And procrastinate...
<+k0tash> but now all my data is missing :( |
#296743 (379/495) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dd7> kid's a genius
<dd7> the paper on his desk had a beautiful drawing of some fucked up temple with trees growing out of it and shit
<dd7> turned it over and saw a page full of sql diagrams |
#296734 (224/422) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<glxblt> nice note in the dish cabinet from boss
<GargajCNS> "you're fired"?
<halcyon_> "You should be working"?
<andr00> "stop eating my sandwich"
<glxblt> "WHO IS THE DEAD COCKSUCKER WHO DOESN'T DO HIS DISHES?"
<glxblt> women can be quite hostile at some times i guess |
#296722 (427/603) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* bermejo (n=bermejo@151.Red-83-61-11.dynamicIP.rima-tde.net) has joined ##freebsd
<bermejo> hi all
<bermejo> how do you split hdd of 500GB in partition for mail/web server ¿?
<silverblade> Precision cutting with a junior hacksaw
<hiredman> I draw a line and toss the hard drive into the air
<hiredman> what lands west of the line is for the web, east for the mail
<silverblade> high powered lasers
<ecmuller> in all seriousness though
<ecmuller> ninjas |
#296712 (1741/1939) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Xyzyxx> Random fact, I kinda dislike internet-based communications like irc and forums because while I'm typing my response to something, 13 other people have responded
<so|crates> type faster?
<taiga> Type..
<taiga> yeah. |
#296710 (2334/2788) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Bapa> Hello beautiful, flawless people of #MOOP.
<godsprophet> sorry, none of those people are here right now
<godsprophet> please leave a message after the long, awkward silence
<Bapa> What makes it awkward?
<sui> i'm naked. |
#296709 (601/759) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Nab> Primo
<Nab> I'm 6'1
<Nab> And 245
<Nab> How do you think I feel
<Nab> >_>
<cheese> you probably feel like eating some cake |
#296704 (169/367) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<JasonDM> finally
<JasonDM> the new realtek audio drivers have an option to disable the auto-detection crap
<DominoEffect> took them long enough
<JasonDM> no more stupid notifications that I plugged/unplugged my headphones, yay
<JasonDM> especially when they're still plugged in and I didn't do anything with them
<DominoEffect> "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "...thanks." "NP DUDE"
<DominoEffect> the little two tone windows noise is enough to let me know it's plugged in all the way
<JasonDM> "HEY YOU JUST UNPLUGGED SHIT" "No...I didn't..." "HEY YOU JUST PLUGGED SHIT IN" "NO!" |
#295981 (446/600) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Biiaru> Admittedly, calculus is like sucking dick. I don't very much want to do it, but I have to get to college somehow.Comment: #zelda
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#295612 (227/413) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%bassist> 2 days ago i answered a telemarketer pretending i was a telemarketer selling them stuff |
#296464 (176/396) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Slith> Law: Gun control.
<Slith> Intended effect: No more shootings, lower murder rate.
<Slith> What's really happening: People are arguing on the Internet. |
#296040 (120/370) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Quaze> Yo momma is such a slut, if she were a collection class, her insert method would be public! |
#295469 (432/566) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Stueh> This has been the last hour for me:
<Stueh> "Windows Update needs to install an update for Windows Update. Please click the Download and Install button to download and install the update for Windows Update."
Stueh laughs
<Stueh> "Windows Update cannot connect to the internet."
Stueh cries
<Stueh> The ethernet driver is now mysteriously not installed anymore.
Stueh screams
<Stueh> "Windows cannot locate a driver for your ethernet card. Would you like Windows to connect to Windows Update and find a driver for you?" |
#191029 (11/389) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AshViper> OMFG
<AshViper> one of my HDDs had a birthday 21 days ago
<AshViper> and i totally forgot
<AshViper> S.M.A.R.T. needs a birthday reminder imo |
#295466 (403/613) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dragongame> Welcome back, Peasant McDohl, to A DRAGON EATS YOU.
<dragongame> Your ability scores are: Str: 6, Dex: 4, Con: 6, Int: 6, Wis: 4, Cha: 3.
<dragongame> Fight a Giant!
<McDohl> !fight
<dragongame> You roll a 1. A dragon eats you. |
#295976 (1972/2318) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Lamia> my husband just said to me, "If your name was homework, I'd be doing you on my desk, right now!"
<Lamia> I need a snappy comeback to that.
<DarkDread> tell him, "If your name was homework, I'd be ignoring you to play video games." |
#295969 (166/360) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<&protospork> I think I'll see this new fast & furious movie
<&protospork> they've finally got the formula right
<&protospork> "vin diesel driving cars" |
#295957 (302/526) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< dexter-> how'd it go?
< tamr> it was the easiest I've had so far. No big deal
< tamr> A+++, would give birth again |
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