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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..80818283848586..596Next> |
#117356 (10/100) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<GregG> I also paid for mIRC, 'cus it's the best IRC app out there, no matter how many others I try. It was time to cough it up to the guy.
<irq_> wow, paying for irc
<irq_> worse than paying for sex |
#283999 (24/208) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<steuy> i'm looking for Hitchcock's movies
<alen> lol, it's Hancock, stupid |
#243551 (111/205) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Zabbage> I used to do drugs in the 70's.
<Zabbage> Now I don't care what the temperature is. |
#223328 (36/164) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<toastido> SO... Dr. Phil says that there is a 'cheating' gene
<GaidinBDJ> toastido: Yea, it's called "Y"Comment: #fark
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#205138 (150/224) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
ApollyonProject: I bought Commando today for five bucks.
ApollyonProject: Best use of five bucks ever?
ApollyonProject: Unquestionably.
Xmysterio187X: I bought three lines of coke for 5 bucks once.
Xmysterio187X: So it's debatable.
ApollyonProject: Did those lines give you as much enjoyment as being able to enjoy Commando any second of any day for the rest of your life would?
Xmysterio187X: ....
Xmysterio187X: Fuck.
Xmysterio187X: No... |
#190804 (47/143) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Chaos> I'm filing a complaint against you on xbl
<Yukupo> ;___;?
<Chaos> for tampering
<Yukupo> with what?!
<Chaos> my heart!
* Yukupo walks away |
#152139 (-3/153) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Garrett> I bought me the best present ever!
<Haras> what did you buy yourself? :)
<el_dulzor> a russian mail order bride? |
#294485 (433/551) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<%First_Mate_Drak> I once had a girl get so sloshed that she hit on me.
<%First_Mate_Drak> And by 'hit on me'.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I mean 'picked up a chair and tried to hit me because she thought I was a pinata.'
<%First_Mate_Drak> That was a weird halloween.
<%First_Mate_Drak> In her defense.
<%First_Mate_Drak> I was dressed as a pinata. >.> |
#267616 (188/272) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<vels_7> My computer was beginning to run slow, so i decided to reinstall windows. I have my own xp serial but no cd, so i downloaded one, and formatted the computer.
<vels_7> ...
<vels_7> then i realized that i had forgot to burn the cd. |
#144982 (69/159) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<dogan> yeah I saw a guy dressed as Cats at a costume party once
<dogan> didn't know what to say to him
<zuu> how about "it's you." |
#297803 (190/264) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<DevXen> they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE! |
#279371 (126/222) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<samsim> The human penis may have 1,687.5 TerraBytes/sec bandwidth but you get hell of packet loss |
#223818 (123/201) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
< kupo> i like watching the protester videos
< kupo> but their tactics suck
< kupo> I could finally put all my years of useless turn based strategy games to use |
#298542 (1/217) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<@swight> Bill Clinton : "Hey... c'moooooon." Kim Jong-Il: "oooh I can't say no to you, you so awesome! FREE THE REPORTERS!" |
#297802 (437/615) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<John> i would really appreciate it if you would stop IMing my girlfriend.
<DevXen> i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me. |
#295242 (271/429) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<range> duck. Someone stole my d key and replaced it with d. |
#152650 (159/353) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<hixx> submitting to bash.org is like applying to an ivy league school
<hixx> you either have to be very good, make a donation, or know the right people
<mcdougall> and if you fail there's always the qdb.us community collegeComment: rejected on bash.org :P
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#116735 (330/464) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<TashaCosta> So has anyone seen that anti-drug commercial where the dog tells his teenage owner, a girl "I don't like it when you smoke weed...it changes you...."
<TashaCosta> ?
<tawniteamo> lol I think so
<TashaCosta> Okay, well, does anyone other than me think that's a really ineffective commercial?
<TashaCosta> Because every drug user I know would look at their talking dog and go "Whoa, I bought some really good stuff!" |
#298101 (141/259) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<borg[of]nine> There is something so delightfully sinister about replying to online dating ads while you're taking a shit. |
#298043 (234/376) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
SwineFlu has joined #askreddit
SwineFlu infects mexicans
<jerrygofixit> lol
SwineFlu infects americans
<jerrygofixit> fuck |
#297995 (124/264) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<lambda> my away msg on AIM is "partying @ the dunes"
<lambda> that way people think i am popular
<lambda> but its in a MMOComment: #homelesshackers
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#297991 (138/264) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<nim> I remember having to rma classified harddrives when I was in the navy :P
<nim> it was like
<nim> nim> yeah, your hdd's broke
<nim> dell> ok ship them back
<nim> nim> can't, they are classified
<nim> dell> ?!?!
<nim> eventually dell agreed to let me keep the platters
<nim> and just ship them the case
<nim> and the motor |
#297989 (5080/6020) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
(334): I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet. |
#297080 (482/564) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> I had this terrible sinus infection once, all the mucus, the works
<Pryoidain> Well at some point, between all the antihistamines, I thought it'd be a brilliant idea to snort a crapton of Instant coffee.
<Pryoidain> Now for those of you who don't know, ANY moisture will turn instant coffee, into actual coffee.
<Pryoidain> I became a human percolator for like, an hour an a half.
<asaph> ....You need to do one of those "This is what happens when you do drugs" commercials.
<asaph> Half the country would go sober 24 hours after it hit air. |
#159049 (671/777) ↑Funny ↓Not ⚐Flag
<Jeremy> I remember the first time one of my friends got stoned....it was fucking great. he thought he wasn't feeling it, and we were playing tekken tag. He's sitting there cussing because his remote's not working, then we look over and his right hand isn't on the controller, it's in the bag of popcorn.
<Jeremy> He was twitching his hand IN THE BAG like he was trying to hit buttons
<pariah> LMFAO.
<pariah> That is awesome.
<Jeremy> He ended up winning the match because I fell out of my chair laughing at him and couldn't stop |
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