<will_smith> gay people shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> you shouldn't be able to use the same bathroom as anyone else
<will_smith> no really think about it
<will_smith> if gay men are able to use the same bathroom as me
<Merihell{CD}> it would turn them straight?
<will_smith> i should be able to use the same bathroom as women
<Merihell{CD}> and turn them gay?
<@danhm> I like lasagna but hate making it
<@danhm> it's like the antithesis of a baby
<briareus> QTParted sucks my donkey asshole
<Gr33n3gg> Since when do you have a donkey asshole?
<briareus> since I've been running QTparted
<&tgies> I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
<&tgies> Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
<mokeylace>: I like to do a breakdown of how much time I spend every day fucking off on certain activities, and how much this correspondingly costs my company
<mokeylace>: for instance, it just cost my employers $37 for me to trim my fingernails
<mokeylace>: earlier it cost them $75 for me to read some webcomics
<GL>: hahaha
<mokeylace>: I'm hoping that when I submit my findings they'll find it wise to hire someone to scratch my nuts for me in the next budget period
<mokeylace>: marc are you still looking for a job?
<JukeboxHero>: always am
<JukeboxHero>: wait what
<Eric_>: lol
<JukeboxHero>: That's not fair I wasn't paying attention FUCK YOU ERIC
<doc|work> hey, what happened thermopylae?
<ardchoille> he got burned out?
<ardchoille> He was fired?
<ardchoille> Got too hot under the collar?
<doc|work> ardchoille: btw, 7-11 here has giant slurpee vats
<doc|work> giant as in gallon sized probably
* ardchoille is still the king of bad puns
<doc|work> hence the change of subject :)
< whatsinthename> whats the command to turn on conference mode for this channel
< doub> just "hi!" is sometimes working
< inflex> change your nick to something like Sweet16Candy
<MiracleBlue> I had the worst nightmare
<MiracleBlue> In my dream I was on the computer right
<MiracleBlue> And anyway, I was visiting a website and this pop up came up
<MiracleBlue> And installed malware on my machine
<MiracleBlue> And the porn king (you know that dude with the long hair and bald spot)
<MiracleBlue> His voice was coming from my computer
<MiracleBlue> Talking about porn
<MiracleBlue> I was like FUUUUCK
<MiracleBlue> And I immediately went to download.com and tried to download AVG
<Flawlessdave> That's not a nightmare. A nightmare would be if you were stuck with Norton
<MiracleBlue> Dear god
< Tyr> wow... epic story from my boss
< Tyr> so, i sent him an email letting him know i'm selling a laptop to see if the company might want to buy it
< Tyr> or if he might know anyone else
< Tyr> turns out he does
< Tyr> see, he has this friend that's notorious for sleepwalking and peeing in random places
< Tyr> he apparently got up and peed on his laptop this weekend
< loodWork> I guess when he woke up...
< loodWork> *puts on sunglasses* ...he was really pissed off...
< loodWork> YYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHH
Jimmy: People like to write on the wall above the urinals ...
Jimmy: So whenever the school has their big monthly tour, they paint over it.
Jimmy: ... the morning after the tour: "FIRST!"
<Dark_nite666> Lol, at my friend's birthday party
<Dark_nite666> It was all internet nerds
<Dark_nite666> and when his parents brought his cake out
<Dark_nite666> all it said was "The Game"
<Looce> LOL
<Dark_nite666> everyone in the room went "FUCK"
<Vidi> lmao
<Dark_nite666> then he proceeded to say the cake is a lie
<Dark_nite666> and they took it away
<Dark_nite666> and we all got ice cream and mountain dew >_>
<iMaal> wtf
<iMaal> i listened half the metallica album with no sound on :D
<Dark_nite666> Lol, at my friend's birthday party
<Dark_nite666> It was all internet nerds
<Dark_nite666> and when his parents brought his cake out
<Looce> cake's a lie?
<Dark_nite666> all it said was "The Game"
<Looce> LOL
<Dark_nite666> everyone in the room went "FUCK"
<Vidi> lmao
<Dark_nite666> then he proceeded to say the cake is a lie
<Dark_nite666> and they took it away
<Dark_nite666> and we all got ice cream and mountain dew >_>
syberghos : Wives are like video games; they're lots of fun to play with, but it's all over once you beat them.
<Proe2> there's this girl at work who is pretty hot
<Mirchar> oh really?
<Proe2> yeah, but ive found it really hard to initiate anything
<Mirchar> you need to get in there before someone else does
<Proe2> well the other day i thought i better man up and do something, i wasn't just gonna let this one slip by, she seems like a really nice girl, so i plucked up the courage and made my move
<Mirchar> and?
<Proe2> She hasn't poked back yet
JZarnecki: So I hooked up with a girl for the first time in like a year. She wasn't anything great to look at, but I'll take what I can get.
JZarnecki: Her occupation was USPS delivery.
JZarnecki: We eventually get down to business and I'm fucked up drunk and wearing a condom, but still manage to cum almost immediately because it had been so long. I pumped like 8 times it was terrible. She was pissed
JZarnecki: Anyways, the next day when i wake up shes already gone and i shit you not, there is a "Failure to Deliver" notice from her stuck on my door.
EJAYwarrior42: Give me her new number, I need to invite her to the league of internet superheroes.
<Technocactus> So me and Will are walking down the street
<Technocactus> And we see some German chicks chilling
<Technocactus> Will knows a bit of German, so he agrees to give me some lines to say
<Technocactus> Meant to be shit like "You're looking good"
<Technocactus> Fucker got me to say in German "I'd marry any of you except the fat one"
<Technocactus> So now I got this handprint on my face where the fat girl slapped me :\
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader
<Poromenos> Getting a bill passed is like getting a story on the reddit frontpage, only in the Senate you're trying to get as many people to game the system as possible
<knight666> So Digg is a more accurate representation of the U.S. Senate?
<Yahoo> God, don't you hate it when the internet seems to be exhausted?
<Yahoo> The feeling that there's nothing left to do on it.
<Yahoo> Nevermind, found something
<tenX> any experiences with expertsexchange.com anyone?
<xsawyerx> i've never had a sex change, so i can't advise there...
<Khas> Is there anyway to speed up the mouse without increasing the acceleration?
<finn> move your hand faster
<Upthorn> The place I lived on the outskirts of baltimore had good sound insulation
<superjupi> I'd give two ovaries and most of a kitten to have good sound insulation
<BagOfMagicFood> If I type this many letters then it lines up good sound insulation
<ousti> I'm yelling at you in Korean right now, but you can't hear me!
<Raiden> Are you going "kekekekekeke Zerg rush ^________^"
< topgun17> ion: reop me
< topgun17> or else
-!- mode/#sdf [+o topgun17] by ion
< jakethom> or else what
<@topgun17> I never come back again
-!- mode/#sdf [-o topgun17] by ion