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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..75767778798081..596Next> |
#105156 (190/244) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kefka> Okay seriously
<Kefka> wHAT
<Kefka> Is the point
<Kefka> Of this ignore systsem
<Kefka> -02:57.54- You are currently ignoring <Jouva> and <Jouva> tried to send you a PM: <Jouva> This is a test of the emergency furry system. |
#105149 (44/110) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<UMKid08> Hey James, what did the tableau calculus say to the fair node selection algorithm?
<jamesl> ? what?
<UMKid08> You complete me! =)
<jamesl> ...
<jamesl> You know, before you said that I used to wonder why that valedictorian left you for that marine dude... |
#104883 (210/276) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ashrael> My MP3 of MC Hammer's 'Can't Touch This' has been locked out by the RIAA Piracy Blocker Thing.
<Ashrael> The sense of irony is unbearable. |
#104432 (88/160) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GregorR> Gregor's thought process: "I think I'll have a chicken sandwich. Mmm, I should grill some onions for that." *one chicken sandwich later* "Those grilled onions were the best part ... I think I'll just have some grilled onions" *one onion later* "I think I'll go breathe on a friend of mine." |
#104113 (156/210) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Opef> Bahh, screw you, free speech-to-text software.
<Opef> How the fuck does "hair straighteners" sound like "whore stranglers" anyway? |
#104061 (22/122) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Blacken sets mode: +m
<Blacken> Announcement:
<Blacken> By GOD, I fucking hate furfags.
* Blacken sets mode: -m
* Blacken has quit IRC (Ping timeout)
<Willfor> Apparently the reason he hates them is because they chewed through his internet wires |
#104052 (1/177) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Opef> This one time at Madonna Camp, I stuck a flute, a tuba, a didgeridoo, a clarinet, a trumpet, a violin, a double bass, a guitar, and a cello in my pussy. |
#103864 (55/137) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kojispruke> I always claim to know how to play chess
<Kojispruke> and then I piss off my opponent when I start playing checkers
<Kojispruke> >_> |
#103855 (18/102) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<italy> i listen to a fuckton of orbital last night
<spook> orbital is like listening to a computer that won't boot
<italy> who dislikes orbital lol
<spook> beeeep beep beep beep!
<spook> is my videocard busted or is it orbital? |
#103771 (187/247) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
FrierT: when life gives you lemons, ask life if it knows its supporting underage farming labour in several tropical countries. |
#103486 (47/171) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kcaj> Coworker goes "It semms like weed up here". I was like... "Maybe it is my cologne, here check this shit out, smell me", and they come over, I hold out my shirt, they take a huge whiff and go "Yeah, it is definitely your cologone".
<Kcaj> semms = smells
<Kcaj> sorry I'm high lol |
#244231 (-2/152) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[17:44:06] <@Prophet> dude do this
[17:44:10] <@Prophet> write a letter
[17:44:14] <@Prophet> make up letterhead
[17:44:17] <@Prophet> with your name on it
[17:44:21] <@Prophet> mail it certified
[17:44:25] <@Prophet> it will get on their desk
[17:44:36] <@Prophet> as opposed to some email bin some secretary reads
[17:50:10] <@alchy> wonder if the letterhead and envelope was like
[17:50:11] <@alchy> #vanity, EFnet
[17:50:13] <@alchy> would it be opened
[17:50:23] <@alchy> and the entire letter is an irc log
[17:50:28] <@wckd> probably sent to FBi |
#104366 (65/135) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TD-Linux> I have the weirdest dreams
<TD-Linux> like, I finally found a girlfriend in a dream
<TD-Linux> then found out she ran an incompatable OS version o.OComment: Dreaming at freenode
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#104302 (64/142) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gerrit> Cannot join #real-life (Banned) |
#104149 (30/132) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@bob> i usually go with my friend steph, who i have known since before she had boobs and we even knew what boobs were.
<@bob> who, long story short
<@bob> told me
<@bob> she is not my best friend anymore :p
<@bob> cd best-friend; patch -p1 < upgrade-to-girlfriend.diff |
#104063 (273/361) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<T_ConX> It sucks being a spelling Nazi on Facebook.
<Phoz> Why?
<T_ConX> Well, normally when you see someone pound out garbage like 'ya well thaz jyst ur opinun so yo momma!', I simply assume it's being produced by some 12 year old simian on a sugar high.
<T_ConX> However, on Facebook, every poorly writen comment is attached to a persons real name, and the School Network they belong to.
<Phoz> Oh...
<T_ConX> So as a result, I see 'Kate Smith (Harvard)' attached to the comment 'y cant u just acept jeesus in2 ur hert?'.
<Phoz> Ha!
<T_ConX> I'm not lying!
<T_ConX> I have actually seen Ivy League students with the English skills of a second grader.
<T_ConX> There is some hope however.
<Phoz> How?
<T_ConX> You know how companies are using Facebook and mySpace to do cheap background checks on job candidates.
<Phoz> Yes
<Phoz> Oh... I see...
<T_ConX> Kate Smith - Recruitment Status: Rejected
<T_ConX> Reason for rejection: Poor English skills displayed on Facebook. |
#103911 (15/117) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pikeman> Heh... I wonder if they ever relcate the Los Angeles airport... will the old one be called EX-LAX? |
#103122 (-2/124) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> time is on my back
<@Rjx> twelve-winged demon with a million penises
<@Rjx> can't stop or it'll fuck meComment: #geekissues
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#103108 (49/141) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Fire_> HAHA
<Fire_> That was classic
<Fire_> My dad looked at my mum when we finished eating, and said "Thanks honey, that was the best you've made all week"
<Fire_> We were eating cereal
<Fire_> Frosties, in particular
<Fire_> I think you had to be there
* Fire_ is away: Blargh
<dev> remind me never to visit your house |
#103080 (351/479) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tamara> lets see... something raspberry, coconut cream with chocolate swirls, and lemon marrengue (which I'm having trouble spelling)
<Edmund> "merengue"
<Jens> "Meringue"
<Edmund> or is that the dance?
<Jens> It is.
<Edmund> Dammit, nothing delicious should be hard to spell.
<Edmund> The Anglo-Saxons had a point. "Ham." Three letters. DONE.
<Edmund> That's probably why the British beat the French at empire building. While the French were busy asking for "jambon avec moutard et choucroute sur pain de campagne" the British just went "ham bap" and ate. All those seconds add up.
<Edmund> (Victory! Through boring cuisine!) |
#103050 (188/258) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<KR> I don't think anyone ever manged to compile that package
<Cygnum> crap. Any tips anyone?
<KR> divine assistance?
<Cygnum> right. i'll light some candles, sprinkle some holy water on the keyboard and shout "the power of christ compiles you!" before pressing enter. |
#103028 (66/156) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Blacken> I've seriously pissed off headshrinkers before.
<Blacken> "Well, I was raped by my uncle as a child, I slammed my brother's hand in the oven door when I was eleven because I was jealous of the attention that he got as a baby, and I burned the woods behind my house down when I was 15."
<Blacken> "WHAT?!"
<Blacken> "Nah, I'm just fucking with you." |
#298781 (67/141) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jasabella> i been using my coco chanel perfume lol
<jimster> o, fancy
<jasabella> ya, i got it for free anyways and i've barely used it
<jasabella> might as well use it rather than let it evaporate away
<FOXX> Actually, the ONLY way to use perfume is to let it evaporate away. |
#298757 (-3/93) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+Spike|Work> Damn, dude, Tucows herd we like resellers, so they put resellers in their resellers. |
#298754 (180/274) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<FoH> If you make a glancing reference to those islands southwest of Alaska, is it an Aleutian allusion?
<FoH> If it's only an imaginary reference, is it an Aleutian allusion illusion?
<FoH> If it's difficult to reckon, is it an elusive Aleutian allusion illusion?
<Renee> and if its hard to put your finger on the imaginary glancing reference of riding a Spanish horse on those islands it is a ellusive Aleutian Andalusian allusion illusion
<FoH> And that's the elusive Andalusian Aleutian allusion illusion alliteration for the day. |
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