Ian: Do you ever watch the TV news and think, "I saw that on Reddit...that shit is old news?"
Chris: they got news on tv?
Ian: lol
Chris: they like just read digg articles on the air or something?
His Madjesty: So the water cooler at work is broken. It still works, but it leaks.
Ideasman: that's not good...
His Madjesty: We tried to get someone in to fix it or replace it, but they just said to take the water bottle out when we're not using it.
Ideasman: WTF? where are you working?
His Madjesty: Microsoft.
<GargajCNS> i'm going to fucking kill myself right now so i can submerge to hell and work there for years to get a promotion, so by the time other people die, i'll be in a position to torture their fucking souls for getting on my fucking nerves at work
(+ShinSR71) if i commit suicide i would probably dress up as someone from Naruto to get the show banned
<rmuser> one time when I was a kid I must have pissed off my mom's husband because he was like, "don't make me take my belt off"
<rmuser> I didn't understand the implications of this
<rmuser> so I was like, "but then your pants will fall down"
<anEmoSlurpee> YOUUUU
<anEmoSlurpee> CRANK DAT SOULJA BOI
<Phasmorphage> JEWWWW
<Phasmorphage> CRANK DAT TAX RETURN
<+GaidinBDJ> What format should a resignation letter be if the letter is neither required nor expected?
<smadge1> SMS
<Fox> oh yeah, mr little brother got in trouble at his college today, it was pretty funny
<Fox> the first day of a huge lab class and the teacher was trying to introduce himself and be friendly with everyone, and asked "Are there any stories you'd like me to tell about myself?"
<Fox> and my brother wasn't paying attention and half asleep so he said out loud what he was thinking at the time, what he meant to say to himself as a joke
<Fox> "Tell us about the first time you masturbated"
<Fox> he said the teacher turned bleach white, and the girls in the class turned red, the rest were laughing
xexyz: I don't think there are NATO specs for Nerf ammunition
<celeste> i have this part of my hormonal cycle where i just can not stop eating. like no matter how much i eat i'm hungry again within the hour
<ilanbg> that's cute
<ilanbg> and by that I mean, please do not tell me about your hormonal cycle
< Neouka> oh, and .... fucking old people
< Neouka> Landau roofs ARE NOT IN STYLE ANY MORE
< Neouka> and they make your MODERN car look FUCKING STUPID
< Neouka> cars i've seen with a landau roof in the past week: 04 Impala, silver, with black landau roof
< Neouka> 06 Toyota fucking Camry, beige, with white roof. Looked absofuckinglutely ridiculous
< Neouka> seriously, who let these people put that shit on their car
< Neouka> I might as well put louvers on my Pontiac Vibe
< Leslie_S> i dont want my vagina to look like it came off some asian
woman
Zac2: "Scientists Find Gene That Makes You Good at Halo Also Makes You a Premature Ejaculator"
Jed_Reality: New Macbooks announced.
<Buck> if you got like thousands of chameleons together
<Buck> could you use them as a monitor?
<Tomm> ... I am speechless.
<Tomm> I was randomly watching Youtube stuff when I saw a link to Never Gonna Give You Up
<Tomm> And I thought to myself... "Hey, that's a cool song, and I haven't heard it in a while"
<Tomm> So I clicked it
<Tomm> ...Chocolate Rain.
<Tomm> I JUST GOT FUCKING REVERSE RICKROLLED.
<Periwinkle> oh man!
<Periwinkle> i just made the best thing
<@stoor> ...
<mikka> what?
<@stoor> hello?
<Periwinkle> oh shit, sorry about that
<Periwinkle> was watching a scary movie on tv and it made me jump so hard i hit myself in the face with my sandwich and got mayonnaise in my eye
<@stoor> hahaha
<mikka> so what did you make?
<Periwinkle> the sandwich
<SirPNut> look, given the choice between turning off the internet router, and turning off the life support machine for a loved one.. who here wouldn't choose to leave the router plugged in ?
<+Marticus> SirPNut: you just said the same thing twice, i dont understand
<Shadders> God is within Yourself
<Mike> then I hope He likes tacos, because tonight its what He's getting
Tim333: You sound like a real winner
rockstar111: is that a good thing
Tim333: Have you ever heard of "sarcasm" or "irony", rockstar?
rockstar111: what
Tim333: Wow. It must be nice to be invulnerable to insult by means of incomprehension.
rockstar111: what the hell r u talking about
<+hairypicklebuns> I got a piece of beacon stuck in my teeth
<&rtil> did it come with a lighthouse
<Paine> "Cuntcannon" is a fun word.
<Paine> I just invented it.
<Paine> it's a verb.
<Paine> "She cuntcannoned that pingpong ball across the room"
<fireweasel> i think a cannon implies an ignition source. it's more like a pussypult.
<Ricks937> I have a totally awesome hat :)
<Chroder> is it one of those gay artsy hats
<Chroder> like the one the walrus in mythbusters always wears
<joseph321> hey guys can i ask a question?
<Stueh> Shoot
<joseph321> my girlfriend hasnt had her period in like 4 months do you think somethings wrong?
<Stueh> Erm ... you sure she's not pregnant?
<joseph321> yeah shes 4 months pregnant
<DanceNigga|Work> You can't be serious
<Stueh> Kid, it's not too late for an abortion, you know that right?
<Jeanette> FUCK THE LETTER O.
<Jeanette> I HATE IT FOREVER.
<Jeanette> ..
<Jeanette> FAREVER
<onslaught86> Oh man.
<onslaught86> I just saw a cat get hit by a car.
<onslaught86> Most uncool.
<Sharkdog> :(
<Sharkdog> I love cats.
<onslaught86> They didn't stop.
<onslaught86> Jerkoffs.
<onslaught86> I went door knocking to see if it was anyone's cat, no-one knew.
<onslaught86> One guy said he'd call the ranger to have the poor cat taken away.
<Sharkdog> I hope you did that subtly.
<Sharkdog> "Hi ma'm is that, perhaps, your dead cat there run over in the middle of the road?"
<onslaught86> Oh god.
<onslaught86> Sharky, you have made my brain think very nasty things.
<onslaught86> "Oh hai! ^_^ I gots runned overs. :("