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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..73747576777879..596Next> |
#150718 (115/265) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Panteleimon> i bought a copy of brawl just to smash it with a hammer
<bannedfox> Panteleimon: was it worth it?
<Panteleimon> totally.
<Tenchi> heh
<Panteleimon> cuz i waited in a line to get it
<Panteleimon> and then i took it outside
<Panteleimon> and waited for the store to run out of copies
<Panteleimon> and i was like I HAVE A COPY
<Panteleimon> and i opened it up and smashed it with a hammer
<Panteleimon> and fanboys cried
<TerrorBite> You have just won your googly-eyed self a motherfucking internet. |
#147631 (771/907) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<KleverOneR> Hey carol...
<KleverOneR> How was the sex? 1 to 10
<Carousel> Which time??
<KleverOneR> Add them all together, then find the average
<Carousel> Hold on
|<-- Carousel has left dalnet (Ping timeout)
<Dayvid> Division by zero is a bitch amiright?
<KleverOneR>... |
#297398 (126/208) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<VyseTheQuick> i dropped my combo a lot
<VyseTheQuick> and i don't have control over OD
<RonJon1> wat
<SiftHeads> premature activation?
<VyseTheQuick> sadly yes
<SiftHeads> don't worry, it happens to everyone sooner or later.
<SiftHeads> someday you'll learn to control your activation
<pksage> You, too, can achieve Unison Bonus.
<@ApplesAtWork> I get a feeling this conversation isn't really about Rock BandComment: #Rockband
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#296813 (89/191) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Biiaru> i remember once i tried to autocomplete a sentence
< Biiaru> i was just kind of thinking what i wanted to say
< Biiaru> typed the first few letters, then tab
< Biiaru> didn't do shit |
#294527 (67/219) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<nqfud> the local supermarket has an almost completely deaf cashier with a poor quality hearing aid, so she just guesses what you are saying
<nqfud> I said "you walk like your vagina lips are swollen" and she decided to tell me how her christmas day went |
#279749 (135/259) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<the_silent_ech0> i wish the ravioli would respawn |
#260034 (0/154) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(10:25:39 PM) silenc: does frontpage run good under wine?Comment: another #infoleak genius
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#201343 (61/191) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[+CJ] i didnt know the pentagon was in the shape of a pentagon till i saw it on transformers movieComment: call him an idiot at irc.swiftirc.net #swiftkit
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#176553 (200/292) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< nitrogen> who played tony stark in the new iron man?
< curgoth> Robert Downey Jr.
< curgoth> best choice for an alcoholic ego-maniac evar
< Novel> I thought that would be charlie sheen
< jose_> i thought that was gw bush
< curgoth> ok, but no one is going to believe charlie sheen playing a genius
< curgoth> and, um, ditto
< curgoth> imagine either sheen or bush uttering the line "if my math is right - and it always is..." |
#140733 (180/304) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<pulse> i remember when i was 16
<pulse> i applied to a dunkin donuts by me, because they were hiring for cashiers
<pulse> 3 weeks later, i hear nothing
<pulse> i go in there after and guess what i see
<pulse> a fucking chick with down syndrome standing at the register being taught by the manager how to use it
<pulse> that made me not want to apply for a job ever again |
#298803 (170/274) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jatboy0> hello
<segin> uhh, hi?
<jatboy0> what is use of grep
<segin> Have you read the grep manual?
<jatboy0> yes
<segin> Do you understand English?
<jatboy0> yes
<segin> Then what is the problem? |
#298790 (58/156) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Luv_Guru> Those girls are def. Japanese.
<pikapo0> no korean
<Seretonin> so they're just like japanese girls, but they can play starcraftComment: #tr
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#298630 (46/126) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(subdue) Fileserver, webserver, chatserver, mailserver... what other sort of server functionality would be neat to play with?
(@tigrex) neat being fun or useful?
(Zak) bacon server
(subdue) I suppose with a lot of scripting and some mechanical upgrades I could turn it into a web/bacon server
(subdue) a 7am cronjob |
#298611 (402/508) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hayden> her: "i thought since you're good with electronics you could tell me whats wrong with my ipod..."
<hayden> her: "i dropped it in a lake, but-"
<hayden> me: "you dropped it in a lake?"
<hayden> her: "yeah but the little sticker didn't turn red"
<hayden> me: "you dropped it in a lake" |
#298583 (147/239) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<echoplex> do you type by throwing chopsticks at a keyboard that is spinning or something? |
#298565 (140/214) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<&Shayne> ok im done with speech recognition
<&Shayne> i sound like im talking to a retard
<&Shayne> when technically
<&Shayne> im talking to you guys
<&Shayne> so
<&Shayne> its half true |
#298561 (230/326) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<james> I wonder how many people are familiar with the term bukkake
<pegmeloN> :P
<pegmeloN> ... wow, that was about the worst possible choice of smiley for that response |
#298553 (14/146) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(TJames) Yes but i managed to make a website thanks to you dfstefan.
(dfstefan) as for your page ... you'll need a web server to show it to us
(TJames) :):)
(TJames) What?
(TJames) I gave you address
(TJames) C:\Users\thomas\Documents\website\page.html
(dfstefan) yeah .. that's an address from your computer
(dfstefan) :)
(TJames) Yeah.
(cqix) I would call it file path, but indeed
(dfstefan) i think
(TJames) Oh how can i format my website address into one like www? |
#295400 (45/137) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dutch> I've a girl coming over tomorrow to have sex with in my room
<Dutch> what should i tell my mother
<Dutch> so she don't suspect us doing naughty thing?
<Emma> if she doesn't want you to shag in HER house, she's the one who needs to be respected
<Dutch> my plan is telling my mother she is interested in playing some new video games on my computer
<Dutch> would that work?
<Foxhill> what if your mum runs in with a copy of wii bowling and an extra controller and you're busy getting a groinal spitbath?
<Foxhill> it could happen.. |
#250456 (110/222) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Periwinkle> oh man!
<Periwinkle> i just made the best thing
<@stoor> ...
<mikka> what?
<@stoor> hello?
<Periwinkle> oh shit, sorry about that
<Periwinkle> was watching a scary movie on tv and it made me jump so hard i hit myself in the face with my sandwich and got mayonnaise in my eye
<@stoor> hahaha
<mikka> so what did you make?
<Periwinkle> the sandwich |
#237793 (855/971) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
JZarnecki: So I hooked up with a girl for the first time in like a year. She wasn't anything great to look at, but I'll take what I can get.
JZarnecki: Her occupation was USPS delivery.
JZarnecki: We eventually get down to business and I'm fucked up drunk and wearing a condom, but still manage to cum almost immediately because it had been so long. I pumped like 8 times it was terrible. She was pissed
JZarnecki: Anyways, the next day when i wake up shes already gone and i shit you not, there is a "Failure to Deliver" notice from her stuck on my door.
EJAYwarrior42: Give me her new number, I need to invite her to the league of internet superheroes. |
#196803 (103/229) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
15:02:51 Analogy: God I stayed up too late last night
15:03:02 silentjoe: o rly?
15:03:07 silentjoe: how late did you stay up?
15:03:20 Analogy: About 3 pm
15:03:29 Analogy: Later
* Analogy has signed offComment: Timestamps were necessary for this one, sorry.
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#182512 (26/138) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Orochi> Well dude, think about it, it beats sticking your dick in the air and being all like "LOOOK AAAT MAAAH JUUUUNK" or something
<Orochi> oh shit wrong window
Orochi acks
<Cirabeau> >.< Xd
<Roxas> lmfao
<Kazuma> XD
<Cirabeau> roflmao
<Orochi> omg I'm closing this shit D:
Orochi [Orochi@Nightstar-5017.hlrn.qwest.net] has quit IRC: Quit: bb tomorrow D |
#297160 (259/333) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< MYOB> Borders' website just died entirely on me in the middle of a satisfaction survey
< expensivelesbian> ha ha
< expensivelesbian> "how would you rate our website?"
< expensivelesbian> on a scale of 1 to 404Comment: freenode
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#212107 (48/126) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Matt: is it bad that I just had the thought "I wonder if I missed my 1337th masturbation"?
Cynic: you've probably missed your 13337th masturbation by now... |
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