|
TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..71727374757677..596Next> |
#296678 (151/249) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ZeroButte> man, its hard to read trainspotting
<gord-sofa> i dont need to read trainspotting, i saw the movie and grew up in the north of england ;)
<Chickenhen> you mean you can't read the book, as you grew up in north of england, so you watched the movie? |
#284629 (135/255) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Alex: I've ALMOST got an IRC network working on my comptuer ^^
Alex: Computer*
Joe: almost?
Joe: ...
Joe: and i can almost fly.
Alex: Shut up. xD
Alex: I'm serious xD
Joe: me too
Joe: the only problem i have is falling
Alex: I can get it to the point, where if you can connect, it says there's a socket error xD
Joe: and i can get it to the point where, if you don't have ground close to you, you break your neck |
#220552 (336/436) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
redux: oh god, this bug bite is killing me
redux: i am not enjoying my hot chocolate lol
Queue: try pouring it over the bite, Hot Chocolate has a natural compound that extracts the poisons
redux: really? thanks
redux: OH FUCKING GOD THAT BURNS
redux: you fucking bitch, my skin is all red now
***redux is now offline |
#297646 (91/201) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Leshok] "having sex is like making fractions, its improper when the larger ones on top"
[&quazy] but how else would they reach a whole |
#282264 (-12/356) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jack> A little bit of Jessica on the floor,
<Jack> A little bit of Monica on the steps,
<Jack> Mumbai number FIVE! |
#246896 (287/355) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@ben> i've annoyed finance by putting 'sysadmin food' instead of 'Domino's Pizza' on my expenses form |
#180107 (182/258) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@manda> Foxhill has a one track mind
<Foxhill> manda it is not one track!
<Foxhill> it's multi-track
<Foxhill> sure they all go to the same destination
<Foxhill> but some routes are prettier
<Foxhill> others are more direct
<Foxhill> so show us yer tits |
#148979 (170/282) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
nugol: my buddy left his CRT monitor on and had a background of 'evertime you mastrubate god kills a kitten' and now 'masturbate' is burnt into the screen |
#107683 (392/508) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zyrjello> E-mail from my comp sci professor:
<Zyrjello> I want to be clear on this point, because several
<Zyrjello> people have asked me.
<Zyrjello> The release of HALO3, tonight, does NOT qualify
<Zyrjello> as a religious holiday. |
#197259 (2217/2471) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
datagram: Hey
janelle: im janelles sister, im 16
janelle: she's away
datagram: Well hello there
datagram: Are you young and impressionable?
janelle: she warned me about you already |
#159419 (925/1053) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ruide: hey chris, stop fuckin cybering and let me show you something
cyph33r: what
cyph33r: i dont cyber cockbite, i have a gf
ruide: haha
cyph33r: what did you want to show me
ruide: i made an account on that scrabble website you go to
ruide: bubblegal_14
cyph33r: wtf
cyph33r: omg fuck you you fucking prick
ruide: chrisharker: i slide two fingers into your tight asshole
cyph33r: YOU ARE A FUCKING FAGGOT YOU KNOW THAT
cyph33r: I FUCKING HATE YOU
ruide: chrisharker: i've never done this before, am i doing it right?
cyph33r: FUCK OFF YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE |
#296857 (500/620) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Pandy strokes Toolmaker
<Pandy> oh god
<Pandy> i have a story
<Pandy> a rl story
<Pandy> a friend of mine got robbed in january, he came home to find this scummy dundee junkie taking his xbox and some other stuff from his flat
<Pandy> so naturally he tried to block the door so the guy couldn't leave
<Pandy> the guy then ran into his kitchen and got a knife and waved it around
<Pandy> so he just let the guy go and then called the cops and they came over and found the guy waiting for a bus round the corner with all his stuff
<Pandy> so anyway
<Pandy> turns out this guy pleaded not guilty
<Pandy> so it went to court
<Pandy> last week
<Pandy> my friend didn't really get why
<Pandy> but
<Pandy> the story that the robber came up with
<Pandy> was that my friend met him at a bus stop and asked him to come back to his flat and he would pay him 40 quid to wank him off
<Evil STEVE> loooooooooooooool
<Pandy> and then apparently my friend forgot that he had no money
<Pandy> so he gave him some stuff from his flat
<Pandy> instead
<Pandy> including his xbox and a kitchen knife
<Pandy> and there was a jury and shit
<Pandy> and the guy got put away for 3 years
<Pandy> BUT
<dcower> rofl
<Pandy> it was a majority verdict
<Pandy> so at least one dundee juror thinks my friend pays scummy dundee neds for handjobs
<Pandy> he was like :(
Evil STEVE laughs out loud
<Pandy> and even worse this class of students were in the court on day one
<Pandy> when the robber was being cross examined
<Pandy> so they heard all of his hilarious handjob story
Toolmaker si roolign on teh florr laugihrng @ Pandy to hard t0 stpo!111!!111
<Pandy> then never came back the next day to hear the verdict |
#145154 (-9/365) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Brunn> The drunk/pillhead/pothead fucktard that doesn't like my satanic/white power music because he's "christian" |
#296104 (377/507) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Forggy: my kitten is almost cat sized now
CorbinFox: uh oh, better put it in the freezer then. the cold makes things contract
CorbinFox: that way you can keep it as a kitten forever!
Forggy: you can't play with my kitten anymore ok?
CorbinFox aw :( |
#297712 (1030/1156) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Talaxia] you fucking nerd
[Fugue] no room to talk, hypocrite
[Talaxia] stfu
[Arilla] You just called someone a nerd, at 3 in the morning, on a video game, on a character named after a planet from star trek.
[Talaxia] ....
Talaxia has gone offline. |
#230494 (153/283) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<OnslaughtSix> I hope the Hadron collider destroys the fucking universe
<OnslaughtSix> I have a Java project due that I haven't even started |
#298929 (48/128) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ehird> erm, presumably two processes have a reason to talk
<ehird> or are you writing "blind date OS" |
#298989 (215/279) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<AlexExtreme> is there any way to make other members of your team not take the powerups on UT single player? ><
<froggey> yes, enable friendly fire and shoot them |
#297854 (163/293) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gauze> having sex with a girl who weighs twice as much as a normal girl doesn't make it a 3some |
#296560 (177/255) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+triBe> (URL to a SourceForge project)
<@whfsdude> Worksafe?
<+triBe> is sourceforge ever not worksafe?
<+aegis> if you work for MSComment: irc.mozor.net #mozor
|
#294895 (234/334) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<&mezzanine> Congratulations
<&mezzanine> The document located at <whitehouse.gov> was successfully checked as XHTML 1.0 Transitional.
<&mezzanine> oh my
<&mezzanine> change has indeed come |
#298906 (74/184) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<vartopia> you're not an alcoholic til you're drinking nail polish and listerine
<vartopia> that you shoplifted |
#298900 (-2/238) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* cuttergirl (4465510f@cloak-542B0A72.mibbit.com) Quit ([ircd.blackcobalt.net] Local kill by Aerv (HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR WHORE GET OUT! IT GETS THE WHORES OUT!)) |
#294803 (120/244) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<zedebsky> by the time we got to the city i had to piss so bad and the windshield was so covered in salt i could barely see where i was going
<zedebsky> and the squirter thing was all frozen up
<zedebsky> so i filled up a bottle with piss and dumped it on the windshield
<zedebsky> two problems solved zero dolla |
#129485 (-7/241) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@pinkxels> i bet like 30% of hillary's votes are women going "OH YEAH"
<@Mr_Giraffe> a kool aid man jar full of menstrual blood
<@Mr_Giraffe> crashing through a polling place |
|
save page |
share: reddit
stumbleupon
digg
facebook
twitter
tumblr
<Prev1..71727374757677..596Next> |
|