#311086 (35/53)

<hep> the children actually get mad at me a lot because i wont pay attn to them
<hep> MOM
<hep> PAY ATTN TO ME ONLINE
<hep> LOOK AT MY MEMES
<hep> LIKE MY SELFIES
<hep> like jfc kid
<hep> i have an online life too you know
<hep> this original content dont post itself

#311085 (21/63)

<kerio> i'm looking for a client that can use ecdsa account keys
<kerio> can be very barebones, in fact i'd prefer it
<kerio> initially i wanted to use gethttpsforfree but it doesn't support ecdsa account keys :|
<hl> kerio: My client supports ECDSA keys
<kerio> does your client do CSRs
<kerio> i'm all for the CSRs
<hl> no. Why do you need CSRs?
<kerio> because i measure my self-worth by how many openssl subcommands i can use in a row without having to check the documentation

#311083 (18/50)

<@DigDug> in russia you're now going to get fined for sharing instructions on how to use a vpn or otherwise avoid the countrywide firewall
<@|silicon> apt-get install openvpn
<@|silicon> bam
<@|silicon> :o
<@normod> shut up |silicon, you'll get fired
<@|silicon> fired from what?
<@|silicon> please don't say a canon into the sun
<@DigDug> |silicon: that will be 50000 rubles
* normod furiously pushes backspace
<@DigDug> STOP RESISTING
<@|silicon> is that a gay couple kissing and dumping vodka into street?
* |silicon runs

#311081 (54/70)

<~LexPro> #foreveralone unable to join channel (channel is full)
<~LexPro> IRONY

#311079 (33/53)

<snesbot> Do you think love can bloom even on a battlefield?
<Screwtape> I do not.
<Jistuce> Love can't bloom on a battlefield because love is a battlefield.
<Screwtape> And we can't have nested battlefields, that would be *crazy*.
<Screwtape> What is this, Disgaea?
<Jistuce> Pretty sure it's The Sims.

#311061 (38/54)

<KateLibby> and no, im not iliterate, my parents were married

#311057 (95/125)

<Amy> some animals don't have tails, i guess a snake is an example of the opposite
<Amy> where the tail doesn't have an animal

#311043 (-154/202)

I am so grateful for your blog article.Really thank you! Fantastic. kkedccggafbaddfb

#311034 (45/99)

<Agentimoline> what does fnord even mean
<Celti> Fnord is evaporated herbal tea without the herbs.
<Celti> Or if you prefer, fnord is toast without bread.
<Celti> Fnord is where they keep the unused serifs for sans-serif fonts.
<Celti> Fnord... is the echo of silence.
<Celti> Fnord is a colour only blind people can see.
<Celti> Fnord is why LISP has so many parentheses.
<Celti> Fnord is a four-leaf clover — with a missing leaf.
<Celti> Fnord is neither a particle nor a wave.
<Celti> Fnord is the space in between the pixels on your screen.
<Celti> Fnord is the smallest number greater than zero.
<Celti> Fnord lives in the empty space above the decimal point in that number.
<Celti> Fnord is the founding father of the phrase "founding father".
<Celti> The fnords will eat you if you're not careful.
<Celti> If you try and see them.
<Celti> They're everywhere, if you look. But don't look. Fnord.
<Celti> Does that answer the question sufficiently?
<Celti> I can't really go on.
<Celti> It's too dangerous.

#311027 (41/67)

23:59 <@swight> My daughter just asked why we say "hang up" the phone
Day changed to 31 Dec 2015
00:00 <@swight> and now you should feel old

#311005 (48/94)

<Analogy> So I just got an audio book, but it was in another language so I had to listen with subtitles

#311004 (32/74)

<contra> i love the dentist
<contra> they rip out your teeth and give you pills
<contra> its like dating an abusive drug dealer

#311003 (44/62)

<manderson> I decided to surprise visit my mom for thanksgiving.
<manderson> She answered the door and asked, "can I help you?" and looked confused.
<asterick> hah
<manderson> Yeah, then it all went downhill.
<manderson> It took less than 5 minutes before she asked me to fix her computer.
<manderson> You haven't seen me in two years and *that* is what you want?

#311000 (111/129)

<Pen Straw> the earth is actually flat but it rotates like a doom sprite when anyone tries to look at a different angle

#310983 (84/102)

<luper> we forced this one guy with a long-ass beard to wear a beard net because his beard DID get caught in a server rack

#310981 (-17/163)

<froggey> oops
* froggey hopes that didn't break anything
<froggey> FUCK
<scgtrp> you managed to set a network card on fire, didn't you
<froggey> basically
<froggey> my test machine has no power button, so I've been poking the on/off header with a screwdriver
<froggey> I missed

#310980 (27/77)

<asterick> Does anyone ever feel like jQuery is kinda like bill cosby?
<asterick> Like, everyone used to REALLY love him, but then someone said "I was totally raped by jQuery" then all of a sudden everyones like "DUDE ME TOO"

#310978 (239/247)

<!spaghetti> What's that thing deaf people have
< FrobtheBuilder> peace and quiet?

#310968 (50/62)

<Thugzilla> jesus
<Thugzilla> i just won the hardest battle of real life
<Thugzilla> internet was down all day, so i went upstairs knocked, [Redacted 1] answered and i told him to plug the ethernet cable back in
<Thugzilla> he didnt
<Thugzilla> 2 hours later i knocked again and no one answered, even tho i can hear footsteps
<Thugzilla> i knocked like 20 times still no one answers
<Thugzilla> i flip the breaker for their fridge and living room, go back upstairs, knock again and [Redacted 2] answers within 2 seconds
<Thugzilla> now my internet is back

#310960 (54/86)

< wushin> Well then you should also know that's considered a stereotype.
< o11c> You know what they say about stereotypes.
< gumi> What do they say?
< o11c> They're twice as big as monotypes.

#310959 (66/74)

<%n473> so I migrated our first client site to our new cloud environment yesterday
<%n473> and literally the very first browsing log we got
<%n473> on our first site
<%n473> first cloud-active client
<%n473> was a pornhub search for "big ass blonde lesbian milfs"

#310957 (129/149)

h34rts0me: area man discovers new dimension, becomes volume man

#310956 (42/54)

<samantha> these recruiters are getting clever
<samantha> Subj: Disco Party??
<samantha> me: I love disco parties
<samantha> *open email* Hi Samantha, We're looking for a bada$$ front end engineer
<samantha> I WAS TRICKED

#310954 (29/51)

<mischa> i was just yelling at oracle world people on the street
<mischa> told them oracle is trash and to get a real DB
<mischa> you heard of postgres? it’s dope, free, scales like a motherfucker, open source and YOU DONT HAVE TO SUCK LARRY ELLISON’S COCK
<mischa> sup bro? you use oracle? it’s no good dude, get a real database
<mischa> one guy seemed really angry i was bothering him, he said he actually works at oracle, looked really grim

#310941 (75/85)

Chillum: the most evil thing I have ever made is a tiny USB stick that when inserted in a computer pretends to be a keyboard and turns on/off CAPS LOCK every minute or so randomly
Chillum: it drives people insane
dmacks_away: Luckily I have a case-insensitive filesystem and a shell that is so crappy it doesn't even realize when a command is miscapitalized.
legoktm: you use PHP as your shell?