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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..60616263646566..596Next> |
#299673 (80/218) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@jen> help my mom get a demonoid account? damn thing wont let me give her an invite since were same ip :-(
<+Ailieron> Why don't you just let your mom use your account?
<~Fax> then her mom will know that Jen's been dl-ing yaoi again
<@jen> the last time i downloaded yaoi was when mom forced me to find brokeback mountain |
#300302 (139/293) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<enkei> this is why computer simulations exist
<enkei> no sane person would stick his dick in a wind tunnel |
#300112 (408/546) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[kris] Hey, roomie... you know that "oh fuck" moment when you realize you have to go to the ER?
[grego] Yeah, ... ???
[kris] Grab you car |
#244345 (479/553) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
SeanieG123: so we have to make this cartoon thing for Oedipus in english right?
SeanieG123: i'm trying to decide if a "mommy and me" photo album would be crossing a line |
#231863 (171/315) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&WizarthAway> Gah, my fingers were on the wrong keys, my code looks like perl now! |
#280259 (1/523) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
kingdamian42 : My dad bought a PS3, right(god knows why)
kingdamian42 : I put in a regular dvd to watch.
kingdamian42 : It doesn't recognize it as a music cd, or a game cd. So it thinks, "Oh this must be blueray".
kingdamian42 : It brought out the big laser, guess who has a hole in his dvd.
Greyejoy : BWAHAHAHAHAHAAH |
#214675 (107/287) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Excremento> how goes the login screens going man?
<n00bMeiSter> oh, you didn't hear, did you?
<n00bMeiSter> my laptop died on tuesday night while i was out
<n00bMeiSter> it was a peaceful death, it went silently in its' powersave mode |
#134490 (169/347) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Soccerbum> around novemberish
<Soccerbum> i through some pumpkin seeds down the sink by mistake...
<Soccerbum> well today, i just found a plant growing in our drain.
<Soccerbum> <_< |
#295884 (157/391) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< withnail> i wonder
< withnail> if anyone has ever put </body> on a tombstone |
#288157 (74/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
sietoba: sorry i did that thing wheres you say one thing but youre thinking of a mother |
#201618 (120/260) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@RangerRick> Mother yelling at three little well-dressed girls: Do not open that bottle of glitter! Do not! If you know glitter... (holding her arms out making a rainbow sort of gesture) Shit flies!
<@RangerRick> shit flies, indeed
<@BadMojo> Glitter is the herpes of craft supplies. |
#190590 (220/362) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cyber> Here's an easy way to tell if a heat sink is pure copper or contains an aluminum base
<Cyber> If you can't afford it
<Cyber> it's pure copper |
#162688 (172/326) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< myself> I just realized MacGruff the crime dog should be the patron saint of tech support everywhere.
< myself> He warned us years ago: Users are losers!Comment: #geeks
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#299940 (34/206) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Argent> Bad laws are a gateway drug to complete social collapse. |
#299740 (158/314) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Plagman> well calls on my phone tend to panic its kernel since the last modifications I made
<Plagman> but nethack plays great. |
#297648 (9/537) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
[+Knoeki] think eating poo is disgusting?
[sZam] only when im sober yea |
#295406 (127/263) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<smurf> Hi - I'm sure someone has told you why you accidentally got k-lined earlier today, but in case you didn't know, a bot we run went crazy and k-lined all of #furry, thinking you were a giant botnet >_< |
#295290 (20/184) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* Ahruman goes back to musing on the days when MSIE was the best Mac browser. Mozilla appeared to be dead. OmniWeb was falling behind. I can't remember what Opera was doing. And worst of all, we still thought the Internet was like a big truck back then. |
#249263 (357/497) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Paine> "Cuntcannon" is a fun word.
<Paine> I just invented it.
<Paine> it's a verb.
<Paine> "She cuntcannoned that pingpong ball across the room"
<fireweasel> i think a cannon implies an ignition source. it's more like a pussypult. |
#206512 (5/305) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<zaapiel> mplayer palestinian_girls_go_jihad_on_jewish_cock.avi
<zaapiel> doh wrong term |
#181220 (135/315) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Snowy_Duck> yup so i feel like a complete asshole now
<Snowy_Duck> i mean it was a complete accident
<Snowy_Duck> we just got back from a mission
<Snowy_Duck> sort of accidentally burned this family's house down
<SFLegend> Way to get the civilians on your side.
<Snowy_Duck> yea, i had just thrown their kids a soccer ball too
<Snowy_Duck> then the helicopters came to pick up the rest of the guys and they threw a smoke grenade to show them where they were
<Snowy_Duck> a little too close to this family's straw and grass barn
<Snowy_Duck> and with the helo's downdraft...
<Snowy_Duck> suddenly we had the village there trying to put it out and we hear on the radio the helo were saying "guys you need to get out of there, the entire city is coming down on you"
<Snowy_Duck> yea, so we feel bad about it
<Snowy_Duck> i've even got it on video...Comment: Snowy_Duck is in the US Army, deployed in Iraq.
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#146404 (67/227) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cosmo> Fox is pro war and anti good tv shows |
#297660 (400/542) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ambulance> so I have an amusing trojan that opens a command prompt ever 12 hours and links me to 'macho man' on youtube
<ambulance> I think I'll keep it |
#148598 (418/614) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<LordLicorice> I made Goatse talk once
<LordLicorice> In a Scottish accent
<LordLicorice> There was some Budweiser thing
<LordLicorice> where you could upload your portrait
<LordLicorice> and assign eye points, lip points, etc.
<LordLicorice> and make yourself say things
<LordLicorice> so I uploaded Goatse
<LordLicorice> made him talk
<LordLicorice> chose Scottish accent
<LordLicorice> made him recite scripture about the End Times |
#140944 (424/654) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dav Lister> Zedo, a half blind five year old african orphan,has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only 1 leg on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes.
<Arctanis> Thats sad Dav
<Dav Lister> give a small donation of two pounds and we'll send you the video. it's fucking hilarious |
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