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#2590 (120/314) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Legind> I cant remember my earliest memory
#2589 (80/251) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[Zammo] missee, humans are the only species that do it front on
[Zammo] so over a long time, females evolved boobs
[Zammo] because it matched the attractive effect of a good looking arse
#2587 (0/265) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** Joins: mxman (68gmc910@hsdb-sktn-248-25.sasknet.sk.ca)
<mxman> wtf
<mxman> WHO SHUT OFF MY COMPUTER :(
#2586 (0/208) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wild-> u want to know a good jacking method?
<wild-> get a baggie
<wild-> dump some lube in it
<wild-> then stick yer dick in it
<wild-> and throw everything between the boxspring and matress
<wild-> then go to town
<BlackDeth> you're a masturbating champion
<wild-> BlackDeth: i wish i could claim i invented it :( but i stole it from www.jackinworld.com
#2585 (115/273) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Lepper_> didn't reppy say he fucked a banana peel once
<wild-> Lepper_: that was me
<wild-> u heat it in the microwave
<SYch0> wtf
#2583 (189/361) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kritical> where can I buy a freon tank?
<novocain> you can't
<novocain> you can't even buy a can of spray paint
<novocain> because you're 16
<tenfour> haha
#2580 (21/281) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<salaman> Tzuri3l: hehe, there's a reason I charge $450/hr you know :)
<M5sedan_> wow, you must give really good head to charge that much ;)
<salaman> M5sedan: want to try? 10 hour minimum , and no pull-back policy ... 50% upfront ... got the money?
<M5sedan_> no pull-back policy = you swallow? ;)
<salaman> M5sedan_: yes, and also means If you come, I still charge you the 10hrs :) ... LOL
#2579 (182/355) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<peng> NOT JUST A PEN
<peng> A LIGHT UP PEN
<peng> IT GLOWED
<peng> IT WAS AWESOME
<peng> IT GAVE ME JOY
<Amanda> SHE WANTED IT AS A TOKEN BY WHICH TO REMEMBER YOU
<peng> I think she used it as a dildo.
#2576 (77/247) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dregan> Speaking of which, I got myself a new girlfriend.
<dregan> And she has a bigger dick than my last boyfriend.
<dregan> Skillz.
#2575 (123/308) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Jv8> programming has destroyed my ability to speak English
#2574 (77/293) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<blazemore> i don't even know who the beatles are
<blazemore> except for jay leno and that other guy that just died
#2571 (0/276) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Lord x Bee: then where do you get them?
geoffduman: usenet
Lord x Bee: irc.usenet.net?
#2570 (133/313) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<D1> snow, our final is to write a "funny" linux story and put in linux concepts.
<Amanda`> "Little Kernel's First Upgrade"
#2567 (0/266) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* terra melts JDigital
* JDigital melts
* JDigital respawns, and is quickly telefragged by a newbie
#2566 (6/311) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<timmo> if aol has ever taught me anything its the alt+ codes
<timmo> MACRO SKILLZ FO LYPHE
#2564 (163/342) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Drestar> Are the fam guy dvd rips in svcd only?
<OldSkoolS> Drestar: of course
<OldSkoolS> pointless to release dvd rips in vcd
<OldSkoolS> and don't get started on divx
<OldSkoolS> friends don't let friends do divx
<OldSkoolS> divx is a gateway format
<OldSkoolS> you'll download divx, won't think it's so bad, next thing you know, you'll be downloading asf
<OldSkoolS> then real media
#2563 (206/365) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DAL9000> if you ever feel dumb
<DAL9000> look at tasmboy
<DAL9000> and you'll feel better.
* logosmani looks
<Rud0lf> heh
<TasmBoy> its not working
<DAL9000> because you're you.
<DAL9000> looking at yourself would throw you into a recursive loop of stupidity.
#2562 (180/340) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<EPIK> hmm, wonder what this button does
*** EPIK has left #gzhq
#2559 (225/404) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<gb> BlackDeth: have you ever tasted your own jizz?
<BlackDeth> no
<BlackDeth> or anybody elses jizz for that matter
<BlackDeth> i've shot jizz in my eye
<BlackDeth> but i wasn't aiming
<BlackDeth> so i dont feel as bad
<gb> sure you werent
<BlackDeth> no i mean there was somebody else at the controls
<blazemore> did he apologize
#2558 (488/620) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<McMooo> the hell.
<McMooo> my sister invited some friend over to use my computer
<McMooo> and failed to tell me
<McMooo> so i get back from physics and there's a strange girl in my room.
<McMooo> a girl in my room is strange enough as it is
#2557 (-1/205) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cugar`class> as i was walking from my car through the parking lot
<cugar`class> there was this big black guy talking to this girl
<cugar`class> and all the sudden
<cugar`class> he makes a gun hand motion pointing at her "dome" and he yells "GIMME YO NUMBA BITCH"
#2556 (148/316) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<spyd3rman> what about battlenet?
<spyd3rman> are they still using the cd key
<CoMBo> no battlenet checks to see if you have zits and glasses, then it lets u on
#2555 (123/301) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@SYch0> fuck
<@SYch0> this is gonna be harder than i thought
<@BlackDeth> are you looking for your penis again
#2553 (167/319) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<PrEs_WhO> in 50 years there will be only 2 english word
<PrEs_WhO> fuck and Dude
#2552 (172/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<circle> one place was offering like $2500 if u let them cut off a toe and re-attach it
<McMoo> that's excellent
<circle> no kidding, i'd be like, "do all 10"
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