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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..51525354555657..596Next> |
#301702 (265/435) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
pookyrocks: but maybe some places people just don't care about the super bowl?
pookyrocks: and ignore the fact that exists?
Shivers: yeah
Shivers: those places are called "the rest of the world" :P |
#301618 (12/442) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jesus> there were about a half-million chowns done
<Jesus> and security blanket has only a "roll back all" option
<rm-rf> as in, rollback all changes to the system?
<Jesus> yeah.
<Jesus> "we made 900000 changes. rollback all or none?"
<Jesus> fuckers
<Dopey> .pu uoy evig annug reven
<Dopey> rick rollback
* pjustice beats Dopey |
#301779 (371/533) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Indogutsu> According to an "On This Day in America" calendar hanging on the wall in my office, Robert Fulton (the inventor of the steamboat) appeared before a House committee on February 14th, 1810 to explain the uses of torpedoes.
<Indogutsu> So to all of you who, for whatever reason, can't find love and feel left out and bitter on Valentine's Day, you can instead use this day to remember Robert Fulton and his contributions to undersea warfare. |
#301634 (677/819) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ucota> So I've learned watching TV with pry isn't a good idea.
<asaph> Oh?
<Ucota> Well you know how he's gonna be a Medical Examiner right?
<Ucota> Dr. G came on, he flips to it
<Ucota> This guy had his colon contents empty into his bowels, he has a hernia, the chick is cutting into the guys scrotal sack
<cjk> OH GOD.
<Ucota> I know, but pry is just STARING at the screen going "I bet it is trauma induced hernial hemorrhaging that led to sepsis and that caused the heart attack.." or some shit
<asaph> did he even flinch when she said scrotal sack?
<Ucota> Fuck no, he was like nose length away from the TV, Like he was trying to see the other side of the camera.
<asaph> wow.
-!- Joins: Pryoidain
<cjk> Dude you're a fucking weirdo
<asaph> I have no words for you today, pry.
<Pryoidain> ...What the fuck did i miss?
<Ucota> I told them about when we watched Dr. G
<Pryoidain> Oh the Scrotal Sack one? That was cool. |
#301939 (273/387) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Krillin|Leach> The only thing that should not be downloaded for free is tax preparation software. I trust my Russian hacker/cracker group friends with a lot, but not my real name, social security number, place of employment, and yearly income figures |
#301934 (198/392) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(5:06:23 AM) b2d4c3e5: I just remembered that I invented the Roger Klotz smiley when I was 17. It is my crowning achievement.
(5:06:24 AM) Liana <AUTO-REPLY>: Your IM has been sent to my mobile device. When I receive it, I will be able to reply. Thanks for your IM! Want your IMs forwarded to your phone? Click here
(5:06:27 AM) b2d4c3e5: #:^)
(5:08:44 AM) Liana: eric i have like 3 finals today i told you
(5:09:59 AM) Liana: i cant believe you woke me up for this
(5:11:44 AM) Liana: go fuck yourself
(5:13:03 AM) b2d4c3e5: #:^( |
#301922 (237/409) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kelvin> I wrote an app in C# for the first time today
<kelvin> it was only about 6 lines, took about 5 minutes
<kelvin> then I felt dirty and spent the next 3 hours writing the same code in C
<kelvin> :( |
#301762 (278/436) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Reunech> I threw up into my own pants once.
<Dan> ...
<Dan> I...
<Dan> What? |
#301880 (481/591) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<gmaxwell> I wouldn't be surprised if the net effect of the "don't pirate" notice is to cause a lot of people to think "wait— I could have gotten this for free?" |
#301836 (301/555) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@PZT> "I want you to taste these," she panted as she unbuttoned her blouse, revealing two full-grown California grizzly bears. I was on the ground before it even clicked. I glanced upwards and wove my head to the left as a set of 2" claws plunged downward at me. They grazed the side of my face. It stung like hell. One of them was sitting on my left arm; I couldn't move. I felt around for the coat hanger she'd thrown to the floor just minutes ago. A careless move for an agent, I thought to myself. I twisted it around my wrist, forming a crude hook, and jabbed at the one on top of me. It rolled over, uttering primal groans of agony as blood dripped from its eyes. I slashed blindly to my left. I didn't break the fur, but it was enough. The second bear shifted its weight, and I was able to pry my arm free. Still half-naked, I grabbed the padlocked Armani suitcase and I stumbled out the motel room door.
<Scizor300> What the hell?
* Stoney is now known as Stonaway
<@PZT> I swore silently to myself as I dashed toward the dimly lit lobby. She'd been one of them all along. An agent. The Movement had warned me not to let down my cover, even for a minute. Why hadn't I listened? A prostitute, in the beat-down slums of Madrid? What was I thinking? Her name... Bertha. Bear-tha. She'd been dangling it in front of my face the entire night, but I had been too horny to listen. Or care, for that matter.
<+Mach> What the fuck?
<@PZT> I burst out the front door and ran down the street towards a departing bus. I didn't care where it was going; no human can outrun a hungry grizzly bear on foot. I heard screams behind me, followed by roars and a horrible gnashing sound. I stuck my good arm between the closing doors, pried them open and stepped on board. I threw a few coins at the flabbergasted bus driver and made my way to a seat, ignoring the similarly confused faces around me. It didn't matter to me; the honey was safe. That was all that mattered nowadays.Comment: #armonte's_channel on irc.esper.net
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#301827 (398/530) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<prote> apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today" |
#301526 (323/465) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ProtoTom> just saw avatar
<ProtoTom> so James Cameron basicaly spent 500 mil to depict a love story between a 15 foot blue woman and a cripple
<jefHardy> it's a progress...last time he spent 200 mil to depict a love story between an iceberg and a big boat |
#301373 (168/344) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
GoKillPeople: Why is it called bad gas when it feels so good to fart?
PartyGirl1450981: some days I cannot fathom why I tolerate you |
#300574 (162/374) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sarig> Now, my evil plan to conquer earth is nearly completed
<Sarig> No wait
<Sarig> It was just a file transfer |
#301717 (1231/1509) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<charl> hey navi, help. 9x - 7i > 3(3x-7u), for i
<navi> i <3 u
<navi> .. i'm going to kill you in your sleepComment: charl has a crush on navi. both are male, and navi is straight.
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#301694 (733/905) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Stranger: girl looking for boy to talk dirty
Stranger: interested?
You: o ok
Stranger: you start baby
You: mud
You: dust
You: mold
Your conversational partner has disconnected. |
#301385 (234/454) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Emperor_Nick> I have Star Wars theme and classic Monopoly. I like building houses on the Death Star, because I imagine Darth Vader cutting the grass on the surface of the huge laser's dish.
<Emperor_Nick> A little picket fence, some roses...
<Emperor_Nick> You could really spruce the place up.
<Emperor_Nick> Turn that Death Star into a Dream Star.
<Emperor_Nick> Him and Emperor Palpatine in a civil union, adopting a wookie orphan.
<Emperor_Nick> The Jedi protesting their corruption of the sacred union between a man, a woman and The Force...
* Emperor_Nick has disturbed daydreams |
#300871 (255/457) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Error1355>: Cows can feel pain, emotions, depression, etc just the same as us, so why do we have the right not to be hurt and incarcerated and they don't? What makes us so special? If it is our ability to *think* then babies and mentally handicapped adults should have no rights either. Why the discrepancy?
<or_something>: well im going to start eating retarded babies to make that person feel better |
#300071 (355/555) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[elita] neone care to spare 400 dlls?
[carbine] Lemme check my system32 folder |
#301722 (840/994) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Trinexx> so, while my girlfriend was taking a dump last night
<Trinexx> I burst into the bathroom wearing a rubber Nixon mask, waving around a meat cleaver
<Trinexx> while screaming "I AM NOT A CROOK"
<Trinexx> it was hilarious
<Trinexx> on a semi-related note, I slept in the living room last night |
#301708 (603/745) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DrCoconut> my toaster seems to have 2 settings
<DrCoconut> bread
<DrCoconut> and charcoal |
#301632 (384/548) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Jeros> im off to a wild cocaine fuelled sex party with supermodels tonight
< Jeros> ......actully im installing ubuntu but shits the same
< xoebus> both times you wake up trying to remember where your night has gone and vowing that you will never do it again? |
#301607 (300/420) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mabbo> So, last night I discovered that my flatmate is functionally retarded
<Mabbo> Matt asked "Wait, which one is actually a star, the sun or the moon?"
<Mabbo> Keeping in mind, this is a guy who is in uni to become a primary school teacher.
<stiglet> Was he drunk?
<Mabbo> Stone sobre.
<Mabbo> Ben and I laughed, thinking he was joking
<Mabbo> he just stared back at us. "Seriously, I know one of them is, but which one?"
<Happysuggs> ...
<Happysuggs> SPECIAL
<Mabbo> I'm beginning to suspect that perhaps the standards to get into Uni of Edinburgh aren't what they were made out to be. |
#301602 (226/390) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Kagami> OH FUCK STAR TREK ONLINE
<@Kagami> And it's an MMO
<@Kagami> I can't wait to roll Ensign and die in the engine room |
#301600 (607/715) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Ariel: i can't find my bball practice uniform
Ariel: he's gonna make me run all practice
Bryan: D:
Ariel: I checked the wardrobe, the laundry the closet and still can't find it
Bryan: check the bed!
Ariel: It wouldn't be there
Bryan: i once found a hammer in the fridge don't tell me you can't find clothes in a bed |
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