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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..49505152535455..596Next> |
#302305 (18/224) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Havoc> Fax: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4kilpqiM_To
<Symphony> [YouTube]: Title: US Pole Dance Finals 2009 Championship Highlights | By: lastdon6585 (uploaded on October 19, 2009) | Duration: 2mins 54secs | Views: 2,689 | Rating: 5.0 (5 ratings)
<Havoc> Clicketh
<Fax> seen it
<Fax> is that one where the chick falls off?
<Havoc> I'm offended nobody informed me of such an event.
<Havoc> No lol
<Fax> maybe that's the blooper tape
<Fax> one chick climbs all the way up to the top of the pole
<Fax> then does the upside-down spread eagle thing
<Fax> and slips
<Havoc> Ouch
<Fax> she, like, dislocated her shoulder
<Fax> it was about as painful to watch as those videos of idiot skateboarders sterilizing themselves by repeatedly mashing their nutsacks into bannisters
<Fax> that is to say, wince-inducing but still lol-worthy
<Havoc> Darwin's theory at its finest. |
#302278 (-6/738) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Elmnt80> My 9 year old cousin spent a year trying to get me to let her suck my dick |
#302276 (228/384) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<skudmunky> the op to peon ratio sucks
<skudmunky> we need more peons
*** Rusty sets mode -o on skudmunkyComment: #the129
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#302945 (164/242) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<trifarce> so any more brilliant ways of forever changing a relationship, eric?
<dd7> try saying "honk, honk" each time you grope her
<trifarce> hahahaha
<trifarce> did you do that?
<dd7> yes
<dd7> she calls me skeeter now |
#302916 (368/472) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MW-SoulAssassin> !eightball will i die from masturbating?
<Alaric> MW-SoulAssassin: Come again? |
#302899 (901/989) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pryoidain> What are you trying to hide?
<asaph> Nothing that needs encryption, I just want it to be tricky to find.
<Pryoidain> got a separate /tmp partion?
<asaph> of course.
<Pryoidain> unmount it then copy shit to /tmp. It will actually copy it to the /tmp directory on the ROOT filesystem. then when you remount /tmp, the directory becomes a pointer, pointing to the real one, but without removing any of your files in the physical directory on the root system.
<Pryoidain> No one will ever find them unless /tmp fails to mount, or they're looking for it. even if they're looking for it, they'll see them in /tmp and assume their garbage, that is if you name them right.
<asaph> ...that's fucking genius.
<Pryoidain> I know, I've been hiding my porn under the /boot directory for about 3 years now. |
#302294 (-4/316) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<dampeoples> you need to put 4GB of memory in the mini I'm going to send you p3
<pthree> you can't upgrade the ram?
<dampeoples> it required taking it apart past the cover
<pthree> i'm sure you can. if you can take a bra off without looking, you can upgrade some ram
<dampeoples> I have to look at the bra, all my bitches are big tittied, so it takes some precision work
<pthree> dampeoples: you're too polite, the rest of us just call them fat
* ChanServ has changed the topic to: <dampeoples> I have to look at the bra, all my bitches are big tittied, so it takes some precision work |
#302208 (533/643) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<erin> Dammit, Windows! I KNOW the program is not responding. That's why I'm trying to close it. |
#301862 (-16/760) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<MegaMari> She's gone
<MegaMari> mom's gone
<Snack> I'm right here young man
<Snack> you're grounded
<MegaMari> not funny
<MegaMari> not even slightly
<MegaMari> she died this afternoonComment: efnet
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#301336 (21/457) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<allesklar> So I went to the bar. Asked for a drink Haitian style. The bartender looked at my funny, I said Shaken, not Stirred |
#300818 (1910/2652) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Crispy`> my friend is making my other friend's girlfriend rage on facebook by arguing with her about how Twilight is the dumbest shit ever
<Crispy`> so I created Twilight for Men.
<Crispy`> government scientist fused DNA with Hayden P. and Mila Kunis to create the hottest woman ever with big titties and a nice ass, and she's all over my dick but it turns out she's a pirate and I'm like "omg but I want to be a pirate" and she's all naked near me and shit and I'm like "you're the most perfect thing ever" ... See Moreand she's like "I know, now fuck me"
<Crispy`> and then all the sudden it turns out the government actually made someone else who was fused from the DNA of Kristen Bell and Elisha Cuthbert and she shows up and is like "what the fuck but I want your dick more." and I'm like "D:"
<Crispy`> and then the Kristen and Elisha fusion is like "OH AND IM A NINJA SHITYEAH" and I'm like "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK NINJAS VS PIRATE" and then this was my face when they were fighting a war near me " :O "
<Crispy`> with none of them wearing shirts oh and they all have super nice tits and are not fat at all and are the most perfect looking women ever and then they all want my dick so bad it's hard for me to choose and also whether I want to be a Ninja or Pirate it's a very tough decision. |
#300058 (5/343) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< Mirell> Your mom's a non-profit! I can deduct my contributions to her!
< Pomax> Hold on a minute there, mister. Who said my mom was non-profit.
< Mirell> I did
< Pomax> Well I advise you to check with the chamber of commerce before you make such statements.
< Mirell> Your mom's a for-profit entity! That means my contributions to her get doubly-taxed as it passes through the layers!
< Mirell> Doesn't work as well
< Pomax> I'm sure we can somehow make it work.
< Pomax> Yo momma so fo' profit, any contribution to her gets taxed three times!
< Pomax> or something.
< Mirell> ...that was good, sir. |
#301192 (383/727) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<colin> someone told me to take a box of kleenex when i went to auschwitz the first time
<colin> SEVEN HOURS i was there, and there was NOTHING worth jerking off toComment: irc.hardchats.com #gnaa
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#302291 (197/501) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<TwoPointOh> ZenGwen: do you get easily offended by references to 9/11?
<ZenGwen> no
<TwoPointOh> okay
<TwoPointOh> i had a great idea for a t-shirt |
#301381 (366/712) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: supb. asl?
Stranger: 28/m/haiti
You: so what's shakin?
Stranger: FUCK YOU!
Stranger: YOU FUCKIGN ASSHOLE
Your conversational partner has disconnected.Comment: Omegle
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#300067 (255/549) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Seyon> YO DAWG, I HEARD YOU LIKE GETTING DISCONNECTED, SO WE DISCONNECTED YOUR DISCONNECTION SO THAT YOU COULD GET DISCONNECTED WHILE YOU ARE RECONNECTING!
* Seyon (chatzilla@875D2DA9.5C5337C4.FAE7B20E.IP) Quit ([irc.BillyIRC] Local kill by Drazhar (Yo Seyon, I'm really happy for you, I'mma let you finish, but THIS IS THE BEST DISCONNECTION OF ALL TIME)) |
#302272 (433/599) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Legion|work> hm
<Legion|work> so the b3ta newsletter describes a theory that all film titles are funnier if you substitute one of the words with "sausage" or "sausages"
<Legion|work> I submit for your consideration "Sausage in 60 Seconds" and "The Green Sausage"
<Mac^Work> Terminator 2: Sausage Day
<Legion|work> "Sausages on a Plane"
<Niyx> Harry Potter and the Philosopher's sausage
<Mac^Work> Alice in Sausageland gives a whole new outlook on teh film...
<Legion|work> PMSL
<Legion|work> "The Lion, the Witch and the Sausage"?
<Legion|work> (I'd prefer "The Witch, the Wardrobe and the Sausage" but I think that's cheating)
<^RaK^> The Sausage in the Willows ?
<Legion|work> A Beautiful Sausage
<Mac^Work> How to train your sausage
<Legion|work> Buffalo Sausages
<Legion|work> (or alternatively Sausage Soldiers, which is perhaps even better)
<Mac^Work> Hot Tub Sausage Machine
<Legion|work> Sausage for Private Ryan
<Niyx> Sausage Club
<Legion|work> Sausage at Tiffany's?
<Mac^Work> Furry sausage
<Niyx> There's something about sausage
<Legion|work> Iron Sausage / Sausage Man
<Niyx> The men who stare at sausages
<Legion|work> WINNER! |
#301930 (377/539) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<foley> I went to a convention in Ohio with a few months ago
<foley> got chatting to some girl, she was pretty hot
<foley> kinda into "neo-femenism" and shit, which was a bit of a bummer, but no big deal
<+dEk> sucks
<foley> nah, wasn't like she was a man hater or anything that severe
<foley> anyways, she kept saying "I'm sure I know you from somewhere"
<foley> and I was sure I knew her too but we couldn't figure out where
<foley> about 30 mins later she stopped mid conversation, walked over to the buffet, picked up a glass of water, threw it over me and stormed off
<foley> for no fucking reason, I was like wtf
<+dEk> wtf
<foley> on the drive home I realised where I knew her from
<foley> remember that girl I stalked for like 3 months when I lived in Washington? well guess what, it's a small world.
<+dEk> O_O |
#301609 (345/493) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<redcurl> i have successfully creeped myself out to the point i can't sleep
<redcurl> i was reading an article about stange things, like the bermuda triangle and they mentioned shadow people
<redcurl> you ever see something out of the corner of your eye? like a person or something but it's not there when you turn to look? or it walks through a wall or something?
<TMH> only when i'm baked as hell
<redcurl> we used to have that really bad at my old house- there was a long hallway all the rooms were off and if you were at the kitchen table you'd see someone walk from room to room without anyone else there.
<redcurl> i hadn't thought about it in years.
<redcurl> so now i'm all creeped out
<TMH> shadow people coming to get youuuuuuu
<redcurl> SHUT UP
<TMH> actually no really have you thought about them
<TMH> if they hide a lot maybe they just want to be left alone
<TMH> and if they can walk through physical objects then surely they can't actually touch physical objects
<TMH> how do they live? how do they eat? do they reproduce?
<redcurl> shush
<TMH> MAYBE THEY REPRODUCE BY SLEEPING WITH US
<redcurl> i don't want to think about it. i'll get more creeped out.
<TMH> oh god oh god oh god
<TMH> ever had a really good sex dream?
<TMH> SHADOW PEOPLE
<redcurl> STEVE WHY ARE YOU BEING MEAN
<redcurl> WAAAAAH |
#302146 (166/288) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
ec> I thought you were bringing your lazy butt to work today
kj> yeah i changed my mind
ec> what are we going to do with all this "Welcome Back!" cake
kj> depends whether you want to keep the stripper inside alive or not |
#302077 (157/291) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ssar> Fuck... saw the girl who lived across the street from me at this dinner party.
<ssar> I had always watched her through her window and shit... but man she just got even hotter.
<ssar> Of course the urge to approach her was strong, but I'm pretty sure a line that one should never use as an icebreaker is "Hey what's up? I used to stalk you." |
#301066 (172/406) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<+conundrum> Indeed.
<+sev> did you know that every time you say indeed you amplify your douchitude factor
<+conundrum> sev: I thought I just seemed more like Teal'C.
<+sev> that only works if you're a big black dude with pure gold embeded in your forehead
<+sev> when you're a skinny white bitch you just sound like a date rapist.
<+conundrum> Indeed.Comment: #watch, EFnet
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#296099 (44/246) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
(loup) nice, google's usenet reader has a translator integrated
(loup) what's not so nice is that it offered to translate a german document into dutch for me
(v427ci505) like foreign languages?
(v427ci505) everyone knows usenet is best appreciated in the original klingon |
#295124 (-2/560) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kappe> If I wake up one day and know what the hell "Kernel" is, Im gonna kill myself |
#294770 (10/358) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LJB> get petrol, thats got the good alcohol
<Lord Adam> Dude
<Lord Adam> Petrol is like 10% alcohol
<Lord Adam> Max
<Lord Adam> Hmm
<Lord Adam> That's more than beer... |
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