Dave: what's the site
Dave: that if someone asks about something
Dave: it types in the subject into google for you
Dave: showing you how to do it
... Time passes ...
Dave: who would have ever thought that it's called
Dave: let me google that for you
<Crispy`> my friend is making my other friend's girlfriend rage on facebook by arguing with her about how Twilight is the dumbest shit ever
<Crispy`> so I created Twilight for Men.
<Crispy`> government scientist fused DNA with Hayden P. and Mila Kunis to create the hottest woman ever with big titties and a nice ass, and she's all over my dick but it turns out she's a pirate and I'm like "omg but I want to be a pirate" and she's all naked near me and shit and I'm like "you're the most perfect thing ever" ... See Moreand she's like "I know, now fuck me"
<Crispy`> and then all the sudden it turns out the government actually made someone else who was fused from the DNA of Kristen Bell and Elisha Cuthbert and she shows up and is like "what the fuck but I want your dick more." and I'm like "D:"
<Crispy`> and then the Kristen and Elisha fusion is like "OH AND IM A NINJA SHITYEAH" and I'm like "FUUUUUUUUUUUCK NINJAS VS PIRATE" and then this was my face when they were fighting a war near me " :O "
<Crispy`> with none of them wearing shirts oh and they all have super nice tits and are not fat at all and are the most perfect looking women ever and then they all want my dick so bad it's hard for me to choose and also whether I want to be a Ninja or Pirate it's a very tough decision.
Mango: So I was trying to troubleshoot this DNS server.
Mango: And I wanted to make sure it gave expected behaviour when you requested a lookup for a non-existant name.
Mango: Turns out
Mango: there actually IS an asdflkjasdf.com!
<jenna>sometimes i seriously hate my name yknow?
<jenna>like other people are jen or jenny or jennifer, and i'm jenna. with an a. it sounds weird. i hate it i hate it i hate it
<pat>yeah, people pat me on hte head when they leave. and then walk of chucklling, "no pun intended".
<jenna>LOL...not as bad as mine though, i have to say "argh" at the end of my name. jenargh.
<pat>why did mum have to give us shitty names
<jenna>i know eh...
<pat>hm why are we talking over irc when we live in the same house?
<jenna>yeah all this computer shit is getting to our heads. we need some fresh air. what happened to max? who's turn issert for walking him?
<pat>dad's
<jenna>oh
<jenna>well i reckon we should get some fresh air, afk our comps and talk irl
<jenna>but its too much effort getting up and going downstairs and out, farkkkkkk.
<pat>llol im outside on the picnic table with the supposed fresh air, i dont have to go anywhere.
<jenna>fuck you.
Crimson_Judas: I overheard this chick at lunch talking to a friend
Crimson_Judas: About how she had to terminate her pregnancy when she was young, and now that she's ready for children she can't get pregnant
lemonlimeskull: Classic case of ABORT, RETRY, FAIL.
<Rjx> i'm a mac
<Rjx> and i'm a pc
<Rjx> and we're both irritating faggots
<@Aprentice> girls who fuck animals should be put in a mental institute
<Rjx> or on TV
<mr_daemon> I also set a reminder to clear the floors on the days the roomba is scheduled to run
<mr_daemon> Because Roombas are a bit like puppies
<mr_daemon> Somtimes you come home to find a bunch of shredded papers and kleenex all over the floor, electronics tossed around and wires everywhere with the roomba in the middle, its red light pulsing
<superlou> What's the difference between a violin and a viola?
<Kage_Jittai> superlou: what?
<superlou> Viola burns longer
<generic> Moon_Doggy: Wow
-*- Moon_Doggy prepares sniper rifle
-*- Moon_Doggy takes careful aim at the stage superlou stands on
-*- generic gives the signal
-*- superlou bends over to pick up glass of water.
-*- Moon_Doggy aims at superlou
-*- superlou stands up
-*- generic readies the signal
-*- superlou uses teleport
<Moon_Doggy> damn
<generic> D:
dargus.kelen: was staring at the sole free outlet on the nightstand, wondering how the hell I was going to plug my laptop and iphone in at the same time
dargus.kelen: then I thought "if the clock has a USB connection, I could use that"
dargus.kelen: then 2 and 2 suddenly equaled 4
lola: I inherited my eyes from mom
diamant: and tits from daddy?
lola: fuck u
diamant: but indeed?
lola: YOU CRAZY OR WHAT?? MY DAD DOESN'T HAVE TITS AT ALL!!
diamant: that's what i'm talking about :)
lola has quit IRC. (Quit)
<Nub> Can someone explain to me how cells divide?
<K4rli> o
<K4rli> 0
<K4rli> 8
<K4rli> oo
<SterlingSilver> We got our report cards back last week. I'm not so great in school, so I did a D in one class. But I was totally okay with this when I realized that with the S (satisfactory) in chorus and the S in study hall, the first 6 grades on my report card spell "BADASS."
* Now talking in #coding
<ih8censorship> so want to hear about how I got a date?
<ih8censorship> with a girl?
<Dr_BadSpoon> express it in C++
<ih8censorship> hm
<ih8censorship> class girl{
<ih8censorship> public:
<ih8censorship> void Computerbroken(){Goondatewithgeek();}
<ih8censorship> };
<ih8censorship> girl Erika;
<ih8censorship> Erika.Computerbroken();
<ih8censorship> Ih8censorship.mood("^_^");
s42: I was ranting with my friend about how nonsensical it is for so many people to play Farmville on Facebook... how growing imaginary crops is a waste of time when there's no real goal.
s42: When I realized I play MMORPGS...
s42: I probably do more farming on the internet than fucking farmers do in real life.
gAmmA: Olivia Munn is single
gAmmA: I'm going to California
Axoren: No you're not.
Axoren: You're gonna google her and jack off.
<@Nome> but edward doesn't even look like a vampire
<@Nome> he just looks like a palefaced turd
<@Nome> his acting is incredibly stiff
<@Nome> i don't understand at all how any girls could like him as an actor
<@Nome> all he did in the first movie was kinda mope around and act emo
<@Warchamp7> You just answered your question
[Marcus] : So I'm filling out an injury report for one of our stunt men...
[Greta] : Oh no what happened?
[Marcus] : He busted his nose in a stunt no big deal it happens. But the answers for the questions on the forms...
[Marcus] : How did the employee injure himself: his head was getting pushed into a toilet.
[Marcus] : Would this be a common work place injury: yes
[Marcus] : Statement made by employee: it's ok john, next week I get to hit you with a car
Nick A dot: so you dont believe in aliens?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: no
Nick A dot: so you believe that in this whole unfathamably huge universe, we're the ONLY life?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: yep, thats the way God made it
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: and theyre not mentioned in the bible so they obviously dont exist
Nick A dot: i see... do you believe in dinosaurs?
xxh0tsumm3rfunxx: well yeah of course, weve found their remains!
Nick A dot: yeah, but THEYRE not mentioned in the bible
xXH0tsuMm3RfUnXx is offline
tfpen: kind of ironic that a "full service ad agency" outsources their site
tfpen: unless this is your employer...
nomercy: my entire career is doing websites for people who say they do websites
<adimarco> it amuses me that, even when eating treats, cats just instinctively know to rapidly shake their head back and forth a few times to make sure the spine is broken.
<zinger> i do the same with donuts
<Brian> Hey hey, want to apply for a job at my work?
<Jeremy> Sure, I guess :) What would they need from me?
<Brian> A resume, cover letter, employment history, maybe urine
<Jeremy> I'm guessing they don't want me to mail that last one in :-D
<Brian> No, the last one is for my personal enjoyment.
<+Jason_Voorhees> was chatting with a chick on dalnet..wouldnt send me a pic
<+Jason_Voorhees> so i asked her what she likes to do for fun
<+Jason_Voorhees> and she replied eat ice cream
<Shey>Hey John,some confused lady called the helpdesk that they've closed the nursery two hours ago or so,and if you are gonna pick up your daughter...
<John>Holy shit!
-!- John has quit
-!- Michael has quit
-!- Nobody has quit
-!- MoneyMaschine has quit
-!- Server has quit
-!- fightbot has quit
-!- Nobody has joined #techsupper
<Nobody>Shey,send us some network guys, John tripped over the switch cable and pulled the socket from the wall.
<DragonFogel> Fun fact: Right now, there is more public support in the US for legalizing marijuana than there is for the Republican Party.