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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..523524525526527528529..596Next> |
#3223 (264/425) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<[prefix]> hahahah
<[prefix]> I just read the funniest shit
<[prefix]> this guy's sister got her laptop stolen, so her brother broke into it and replaced the dialup phone number for the ISP to his phone #
<[prefix]> when the person dialed it up he had their name on the caller ID went over to their house, took it back, and kicked their ass |
#3222 (10/248) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<mxman> i think some people have non sensitive cocks
<spazzer> shit
<spazzer> you know its bad when your hand goes numb while you're pouding it |
#3221 (149/283) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<SementE> anyone here have a commercial pilot license?
<blazemore> semente: do you have any idea how many fbi "carnivore" systems you just set off
<SementE> blazemore: oh.. I forgot to add airline |
#3218 (132/278) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Richie> i kinda sent him the strange link to gay porn
<duckman> so he sent you here?
<Richie> revenge is strange sometimes
<Joshua> well... i guess we know what we have to do...
* Joshua takes off his pants |
#3217 (178/408) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<natescape> There's a new soft drink that contains Viagra instead of caffeine, it's called Mount-n-Do. |
#3216 (13/253) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Evil_Rob> JLsoft: Not like I'm going to wander the streets, jerking off homeless people. |
#3213 (87/259) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** devolve (corruptor@203-96-106-108.dialup.xtra.co.nz) has joined
<devolve> what is the name of the sexual activity where you put a tube up each others ass and pass shit between it
<aNuBiS-> devolve: Looking for something to do on a Saturday night in New Zealand? |
#3210 (25/257) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Survivor> heh , metallica really sux
<Waldo> yeah, they're a shitty mix of country and rock
<Survivor> they was a good band before 90`s
<Waldo> was they?!?!
* Waldo pokes survivor in the eye |
#3201 (131/269) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Waldo> tool, are you retarded or just an idiot? i need to know if i should just hate you or pity you as well.
<Tool> i think you should hate me
<Waldo> that's a given
<Waldo> i need to know if i should pity you as well. |
#3200 (171/352) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<_ry0suke_> My dad has no nuts
<Deathwinter> Really?
<_ry0suke_> OOPS, I meant my cat |
#3199 (0/182) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<atomic__> i wish i had a .no hostname so i could act stupid and no one would ever question why i acted the way i did |
#3195 (205/383) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dot> i make that typo irl too
<dot> wait... it's not a "typo" then...
* dot gets confused about real life
<dot> real life... has no keyboards...
* dot tries to remember this |
#3194 (121/293) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dot> one sex
<dot> eek
<dot> sec
<dot> damn that typo
<Alexander> sure
<Waldo> paging doctor freud...
<Waldo> paging doctor freud... |
#3188 (44/228) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Chaderz> Damnit man, get MSN!
<Dog_Welder> Unlike most, I find that Bill's dick chafes my ass |
#3186 (102/246) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(Sarojin) Haha nice, I got referred to the Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership by askjeeves.com, and the banner on the top said across it "WHY PAY RETAIL!?" |
#3181 (247/445) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<jip_> anyone know offhand how to make comments in lisp?
<Jumper> people still use lisp ?
<Liqd_Work> people started using lisp?
<MediArc> people can program?
<Jumper> ..people ?
<MediArc> ??
<drlion> there was light? |
#3177 (-1/359) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nappyjallapy> dude nobody knows
<nappyjallapy> but these fucking japs own ameritech
<nappyjallapy> everyone thinks it's AMERItech
<nappyjallapy> but it's JAPAfuckingtech
<nappyjallapy> fuck them |
#3174 (0/228) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<hussain> SHELLWHORE.
<nexxai> yes? |
#3170 (134/312) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<bits> about 7-8mil live in sydney
<bits> well not "sydney city" but live in sydney and its surrounding suburbs
<Joshua> nice
<Joshua> oh wait, you guys are on the metric system
<bits> yep
<Joshua> that's only like 3.5 million people in our system
<bits> lol |
#3169 (123/281) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<myst> of course with all the pro- USA, rah, rah, crap we hear... i probally just ignored it
<Joshua> ah damn, i'm sorry about that
<myst> ah teens and guns. yes i have read a few stories on that topic.
<Joshua> as an american, i'm going to have to appologys
<Joshua> *appologies?
<Joshua> soemthing like that
<Joshua> fuck it
<Joshua> i'm an american
<Joshua> i don't have to spell |
#3168 (193/331) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<myst> yeah i suck at snowboarding too
<myst> skiing easier
<Joshua> yeah, i broke my arm and then my dad walked up to my twisted wreck of a body and told me i was faking it.
<Joshua> he wouldn't even take me to the doctor's until my mom came home and yelled at him.
<myst> lol! ah parents |
#3167 (122/282) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<myst> nah, snow is cool.
<Joshua> if you're a bear.
<myst> skiing, snowboarding, etc.
<myst> just have to dress for it
<Joshua> that's how i broke my arm for the first time
<Joshua> snowboarding
<myst> oh ouch
<Joshua> or rather, falling down a hill because you SUCK at snowboarding |
#3166 (1/268) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<myst> FYI, it wasn't true love that called earlier, it was my mom... lol |
#3165 (244/422) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<myst> so what about you? anything interesting?
<Joshua> i'm writting a book and i just left a naked lady in her bed seconds before her roommates came home.
<Joshua> it was like *pulls on pants* *roommates walk in*
<myst> what's your book about?
<Joshua> lol!
<Joshua> yup, you're a chick
<myst> lol
<myst> rofl |
#3163 (175/356) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<drlion> linux hacker 1: i'm bored. linux hacker 2: let's re-write the whole kernel! linux hacker 1: ok. *hackety-hack* linux hacker 1: wow, it's 0.00001% faster and takes up 1kb less space! linux hacker 2: w00t. |
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