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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..503504505506507508509..596Next> |
#4367 (127/329) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Lincoln`s_Wax> "The vacuum of space can suck like a mofo!" "Captain, get your penis out of the window! |
#4366 (62/289) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bobby> "YOU ARE ONLY CONSIDERED A LOYAL TALIBAN MEMBER IF YOUR BEARD IS AT LEAST ONE THIRD THE LENGTH OF AN X-BOX CONTROLLER." |
#4363 (8/232) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<taz> 0x0020 5018 2238 83c7 0000 4745 5420 6874 7470 P."8....GET.http
<taz> 0x0030 3a2f 2f77 7777 2e69 6b65 612e 636f 2e75 ://www.ikea.co.u
<taz> 0x0040 6b2f 7072 6f64 7563 745f 7072 6573 656e k/product_presen
<taz> 0x0050 7461 ta
<taz> muha
* taz snooping mothers network traffic |
#4361 (22/226) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<JDigital> I have ops in #pyoko... I put it on my resume along with my Slashdot karma ;) |
#4360 (113/257) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DrWoody> <intra> I want to propose to my wife with a giant foam #1 finger instead of a ring.
<RastaSaf> of course the correct answer to that quote would be: how long did it take the doctors to remove it from you? |
#4356 (78/300) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<teu> I have to admit, when I first suggested anal sex to my girlfriend, she looked at me like I was crazy. I offered to double-wrap, use plenty of AstroGlide, but she was still totally freaked over the idea of it. Then she made a deal with me: If I'd bend over for her strap-on, she'd bend over for me. We take turns taking it up the poop chute, and now we finally feel like our relationship is fully equal |
#4355 (87/285) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Semi> What are you talking about?
<Rico> Fuck if I know. Your mother, probably. |
#4352 (-1/264) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Khross\cpp> If by "whup" you mean "penetrate until colon rupture", I'm way ahead of you. |
#4351 (278/471) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Khross> I'M GOING TO REPLACE YOUR LOWFAT MILK WITH SLIGHTLY HIGHER FAT MILK AND EXPOSE YOU TO THE RISK OF FUTURE HEART DISEASE. |
#4349 (100/239) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Sharkey> I've been told I should be a phone sex operator.
<Sharkey> Which gender hasn't been specified.
<Xerox> I've been told I should be a phone sex caller.
<Sharkey> Keep reaching for that rainbow.
<Kashan> he's waiting for your call |
#4337 (0/302) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Lord-Data> spanish girls like come with a tan by default
<Lord-Data> its like they come factory fitted with a fully body kit :) |
#4333 (93/257) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*jwzrd-* kicks Butters in the nuts
*Butters* watches as jwzrd- breaks his foot on his morning wood |
#4330 (-1/271) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Booyah> what's 18 inches long and makes women scream?
<Gen|us> a black mans cock
<ismell> you toenails ?
<Booyah> crib death |
#4329 (146/318) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** @pHaT|B33R is now known as @pHaT|ZzZz
<@JumperXL> later
<@JumperXL> nite drunkard
<@ismell> l8
<@JumperXL> thats irc dedication. smashed off his gord but still changes his nick to ZzZz before he passes out. |
#4328 (229/408) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Nice_Guy> i love u
<kcb0ddah> i love you too
<kcb0ddah> what is your credit card number? |
#4326 (45/267) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<MrFreeze> AND I PUT 3 OZ OF WEED IN 2 COOKIES
<MrFreeze> AND THEY WERE LIKE 1" ACROSS
<MrFreeze> MMM THEY WERE YUM!
<noj> and 2 feet high! |
#4325 (204/328) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<nitrifik_> damn, I have to leave in 10. I haven't even eaten. :|
<mightyflo> irc is a cruel mistress
<nitrifik_> not as cruel as real mistresses.
<mightyflo> you get what you pay for |
#4324 (54/274) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<|hOrNeT|> Does anyone have Sims Vacation please that they can hook me up with?? I've been trying to get that for my girlfriend forever and I don't get any sex0r anymore if I can't get it |
#4322 (257/397) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<FlipTopBox> wow... spam in my hotmail inbox: "See Girls with buckets of cum all over their faces!
<Slant> FlipTopBox: Dude. Give them some credit, it's hard to balance a bucket on your face. |
#4321 (152/296) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<kung_fu_mike> I ran for office today in the IEEE elections
<kung_fu_mike> and I lost to a whiney bitch that everyone knows is going to break under the pressure
<FlipTopBox> if everyone know's she'll crack, why did they vote for her?
<kung_fu_mike> cause there idiots who came for the free pizza and saw a moderatly cute girl
<kung_fu_mike> well guess I will have to get position my way and get her in bed
<mightyflo> and run everything from behind the scenes
<kung_fu_mike> from behind is right |
#4319 (47/231) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<josho> having eggo "pissed" at me was like having a rabid chihuahua yiping at you becuase you stepped on its oversized genitals
<Guilty> See you just complemented eggo again |
#4317 (0/238) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DuneBoy> only porn I can think of in Idaho would involve animals |
#4314 (2/307) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<madwoota> rice rockets are for fags and shrivel dicks
<madwoota> 'hey baby, lets hump in the wrx..' 'sorry, cant even get my panties off in here' |
#4311 (-2/352) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<_8ight> i put a hit of LSD on a hamster's eyeball in high school
<_8ight> it died that nite :( |
#4310 (129/287) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Slant> I'm adding "Masturbation" to my HotOrNot profiile.
<Slant> Hopefully this will reduce the number of matches I've been getting lately.
<Slant> Or it'll hook me up with a woman I can truly appreciate. ;-) |
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