|#311454 (71/97) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Val> Oddish, holy fuck
<Val> I'm sitting, parked, on a dirt road in my cab. Call comes on the radio from dispatch, quote, "Who wants to do a pickup right now?"
<Val> I hit E to accept.
<Val> A Sadler - basically a Ford F-250 crew cab - rear-ends my taxi.
<Val> I guess I consented.
|#311395 (126/154) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: AND POSTS A 30% DISCOUNT CODE
Xhiel: AND THE GOD DAMNED CODE WORKS
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: AND HIS COMMENT IS GUILDED
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
|#310595 (64/70) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<@kmcdon> PenPen: what do you do as an it professional
<%PenPen> kmcdon: bitch about users on irc
|#309106 (71/87) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Zirak> So, I began to install Arch Linux. Had some problem with the booting device, but it happened before, no biggie.
<Zirak> Fixing that problem made a bigger problem. Which made a bigger problem.
<Zirak> Eventually, arch told me "Bailing out, you are on your own. Good luck."
<Zirak> Followed by a kernel panic
|#304483 (46/92) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<warpy> i guess i should just go to bed, election results won't be up for another few hours anyway
<bucketmo> just go to bed with your window open
<bucketmo> if prop 19 passes, you'll smell it.Comment: ~7PM 11/2/10
|#302032 (102/150) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<+MachineDog> ....crap, how do I do the action things?
<+Kitten> you do /me
<+MachineDog> you WISHComment: My first day on IRC
|#310054 (72/100) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<@dmd> two old people were arguing over whose car a car was
<@dmd> and one was demonstrating that their key worked
<@dmd> and the other was using the impeccable argument that "it looks like my car"
<@dmd> i was at a stop light so i had to leave
<@dmd> but i assume this was resolved either by the correct party getting in and driving away
<@dmd> or by thunderdome
|#305954 (45/85) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
DrZoidberg: i have more beef hanging around in my colon than three Weinerschnitzels have in their combined freezers.
EvilBunnyFuFu: thankfully, Dr Zoidberg has no clue what a colon is..
Russ: Colon, not to be confused with a semi-colon.
DrZoidberg: semi-colon is half-assed
|#311601 (77/87) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
|#311594 (49/71) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<AAA> Ugh. SELinux is a pain in my ass. :(
<BBB> I'm not sure it's designed to go there
|#311431 (58/86) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<sickleanna> hiya curiousjock
<curiousjock> hey there sickleanna
<bubblegumbitch> oh sick leanna. i thought anna was a communist lol
* sickleanna is now known as sickle-anna
<sickle-anna> lets roll with it
<TungstenCarbide> can't roll
<TungstenCarbide> someone sliced the tires
<TungstenCarbide> someone with a SICKLE
|#309636 (62/92) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<@Jano> Last time I ordered pizza the delivery chick got stuck in the elevator for an hour.
<@Jano> And when she got out she told me she didn't have my pizza.
<@Jano> It was great.
<@Lorkki> did she eat it
<@Jano> No. She just didn't have it. She had the wrong stuff.
<@Jano> They hadn't even made it.
|#306902 (64/94) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Wumpus_> someday someonme is going to show me how the hell you make a wad of pizza dough into a nice *round* shape without a lot of manual shapenanipulation after attacking it with the rolling pin
<@Alien> why do you want a pizza round? it tastes just as good in a wobbly amoeba shape
|#301487 (81/109) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
saltydog: i told you
thero: you did?
saltydog: you said youd go if someone bought you a drink
thero: stop talking to me when im drunk
saltydog: that leaves a 5 minute window each day to talk to you
thero: thats not my problem
|#301268 (85/109) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
Phoon: Well, I got my GRE tentative scores back
Phoon: Verbal: 710.
Phoon: Quantitative: 800.
Ros: How'd you do on the bikini part?
Phoon: Ros: Better than expected. Only two of the judges vomited.
|#297445 (62/84) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<tscmga?> hi, i am just trying to register a new account on ubuntu forum
<tscmga?> it ask me a question
<tscmga?> What color is an orange?
|#310368 (37/65) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<hep> would anyone like to sign up for our trolling ghostwriting service?
<hep> for the busy professional who still wants to troll
<hep> you just give us your nick
<hep> and we troll as you
|#295045 (-27/109) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<@Zebe> sudo chballs +mouth urmom
|#237419 (58/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader
|#309533 (60/92) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<nedbat> [Tritium]: you youngsters and your kidding...
<nedbat> get off my lawn!
<[Tritium]> But im not done mowing it....did you forget you paid me to do that?
<[Tritium]> is this even your house?
|#302246 (77/133) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C
|#299680 (75/97) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<TugC> hey anyone want some freshly tested proxies?
<Xero> i want some too TugC
<TugC> i tested all of them today in charon
<Xero> ONE OF THOSE IS MY SERVERS IP
<Xero> YOU FUCKING FUCK
|#311568 (72/82) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<@Rjx> the bigger question is why I am so fixated on personality disorders
<@digdug_> maybe you have pdfpd
<@digdug_> personality disorder fixation personality disorder
<@Dom`> the document for pdfpd
|#311564 (40/50) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
crond: to hell with emacs.
crond: emacs is like using a blender to chop your salad. you CAN do it, but it's overkill, and you just get sludge at the end.
whizzl: more like dropping your entire kitchen on the salad bowl
|#311396 (62/70) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<graspee> fucking ipod shuffled onto guided meditation track and i fell asleep at the keyboard
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