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#309636 (62/90) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Jano> Last time I ordered pizza the delivery chick got stuck in the elevator for an hour.
<@Jano> And when she got out she told me she didn't have my pizza.
<@Jano> It was great.
<@Lorkki> did she eat it
<@Jano> No. She just didn't have it. She had the wrong stuff.
<@Jano> They hadn't even made it.
#306902 (64/92) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Wumpus_> someday someonme is going to show me how the hell you make a wad of pizza dough into a nice *round* shape without a lot of manual shapenanipulation after attacking it with the rolling pin
<@Alien> why do you want a pizza round? it tastes just as good in a wobbly amoeba shape
#301487 (80/108) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
saltydog: i told you
thero: you did?
saltydog: you said youd go if someone bought you a drink
thero: stop talking to me when im drunk
saltydog: that leaves a 5 minute window each day to talk to you
thero: thats not my problem
#301268 (83/107) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Phoon: Well, I got my GRE tentative scores back
Phoon: Verbal: 710.
Phoon: Quantitative: 800.
Ros: How'd you do on the bikini part?
Phoon: Ros: Better than expected. Only two of the judges vomited.
#297445 (61/83) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tscmga?> hi, i am just trying to register a new account on ubuntu forum
<tscmga?> it ask me a question
<tscmga?> What color is an orange?
#310368 (36/64) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<hep> would anyone like to sign up for our trolling ghostwriting service?
<hep> for the busy professional who still wants to troll
<hep> you just give us your nick
<hep> and we troll as you
#295045 (-24/106) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Zebe> sudo chballs +mouth urmom
#237419 (57/79) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* eeyore frowns at headline "Chinese character corrupted after enrichment" and then realises he clicked on the feed for IBM Software Support, not his political news folder in Google Reader
#309533 (58/88) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nedbat> [Tritium]: you youngsters and your kidding...
<nedbat> get off my lawn!
<[Tritium]> But im not done mowing it....did you forget you paid me to do that?
<[Tritium]> is this even your house?
#302246 (75/131) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fax> Yukio: did I tell you about my mutant power?
<Yukio> Fax: is it the ability to determine bra size with a single glance?
<Fax> where I can tell a woman's cup/bust size wi-...
<Fax> ...
<Fax> you take all the fun out of everything ever :C
#299680 (74/94) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TugC> hey anyone want some freshly tested proxies?
<Syn> yes
<TugC> xxxxxxxx.com/xxxxxx
<Xero> i want some too TugC
<Xero> holy
<Xero> fucking
<TugC> i tested all of them today in charon
<Xero> HEY
<TugC> what
<Xero> ONE OF THOSE IS MY SERVERS IP
<Xero> YOU FUCKING FUCK
#311568 (71/81) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> the bigger question is why I am so fixated on personality disorders
<@digdug_> maybe you have pdfpd
<@digdug_> personality disorder fixation personality disorder
<@Dom`> pdfpd.pdf
<@Dom`> the document for pdfpd
#311564 (39/49) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
crond: to hell with emacs.
crond: emacs is like using a blender to chop your salad. you CAN do it, but it's overkill, and you just get sludge at the end.
whizzl: more like dropping your entire kitchen on the salad bowl
#311396 (60/68) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<graspee> fucking ipod shuffled onto guided meditation track and i fell asleep at the keyboard
#311366 (160/168) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* vens is now known as venz
<aciou> this is the internet equivalent of turning your cap backwards
#311335 (87/93) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< danl> being lazy and running everything as root is so much easier
< danl> lol
< danl> damn it
< danl> I screwed up my script and lost a years worth of access logs
#311315 (37/45) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<haq> so you get thermal cycling outside the projected envelopes, plus RoHS lead free solder means all your ball soldered components eventually crack away from the boards
<haq> i would strangle the last whale to death with a dorito bag if i could get real solder back in electronics
#311282 (65/79) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AndyWojo> If I were coming up with a package manager, I'd name it just
<AndyWojo> 'just install tmux'
<AndyWojo> and instead of a -f for forcing dependencies: 'just fucking install tmux'
#311151 (37/61) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SmasherDynamo> !rolld100
<Ricky_Steambot> Rolled 69
<CraigK> nice.
<fairgame> nice
<Monicro> NICE
<Mon> nice
<DannoMack> nice
<Yaya> nice
<cthulhuwork> you guys are weird
<johnfw501> nice
Comment: #thesuperleague
#310721 (6/40) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jden> i only steal iwatches
<jden> from techdweebs
<jden> i can get real close to them and blend in, then i snatch it from them in line at philz
<jden> boom, $20k watch
<jden> fence it for $1k and you're golden
<jden> 6 of those and you've made rent for the month in sf
#309308 (37/87) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< vanu> what if like
< vanu> the higgs boson is the heart of a particle
< vanu> and it gives them mass because that is what keeps them ATTRACTED TO OTHERS
< vanu> oh shit
< vanu> i've solved it
<@sta|ker> no
<@sta|ker> you're juset high
< vanu> I'VE SOLVED IT ALL
#307740 (42/60) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<n0idx80> I have a very nice laptop with 4GB (takes 8) that the cpu fan makes a horrible noise, and I just can't bear to open it up
<Chainsaw> You feel that dust bunnies are animals too and deserve to live?
#306775 (39/69) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Nine: what is the most stereotypically hipster song?
Nine: preferably one that many people would recognize
#303166 (34/56) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<indigo> some of my fish are not very smart.
<indigo> i have some that are small catfish (1-2") with a sucker mouth
<indigo> i startled some, and they jumped above the waterline and clung to the glass in the air.
#276906 (61/87) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
xxx: told my boyfriend I wanna wake up to oral pleasure
xxx: and I woke up in the morning, cuz he was trying to stick his dick into my mouth
xxx: fuck
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