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#311434 (48/60) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<truck> DDT was stopped by police once "why are you here"
<truck> he showed his phone playing ingress
<truck> "I am a network technician, I am scanning this area for wireless problems"
<truck> "ok then"
<truck> police drive off
#311083 (12/44) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@DigDug> in russia you're now going to get fined for sharing instructions on how to use a vpn or otherwise avoid the countrywide firewall
<@|silicon> apt-get install openvpn
<@|silicon> bam
<@|silicon> :o
<@normod> shut up |silicon, you'll get fired
<@|silicon> fired from what?
<@|silicon> please don't say a canon into the sun
<@DigDug> |silicon: that will be 50000 rubles
* normod furiously pushes backspace
<@|silicon> is that a gay couple kissing and dumping vodka into street?
* |silicon runs
#299949 (30/66) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Joe: Tommy's room is right next to mine and the walls are really thin
Joe: Every time I hear him start yelling at his friends over Xbox Live when I am trying to sleep
Joe: I release the IP address on our router
#310594 (3/41) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rymate1234> z33k33 is trolling imo
<walle303> s/troll/z33k33
<PikalaxALT> walle303: rymate1234 actually meant: z33k33 is z33k33ing imo
<walle303> A sleeping POKeMON blocks the way!
<Renb> s/^.*$/butts/
<PikalaxALT> Renb: walle303 actually meant: butts
<Renb> s/^.*$/\nQUIT :butts/
<PikalaxALT> Renb: PikalaxALT actually meant:
* PikalaxALT has quit (Quit: butts)
<Renb> LOL
Comment: abusing a sed script.
#309432 (7/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dacon_> you're messed up
<Huggles> how is this new information
<Dacon_> just feels like something you need to be reminded of
<Huggles> i feel through a floor and my car is full of bees
<Huggles> i dont need to be reminded
#309218 (7/53) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@TheGiz> I think one day I'm going to invent a peripheral for games to drive home just how violent they are
<@TheGiz> Like a boxing glove on a spring and when you lose a fight in the game an on-screen prompt will instruct you to take your lumps like a man
<@TheGiz> And if you DON'T do it, then it'll wait until you're asleep and R2-D2 roll into your bedroom and sock you then
<@TheGiz> Gonna admit
<@TheGiz> I really just want to spend the rest of my life designing robots that punch people in the face
<@TheGiz> Either as video game peripherals
<@TheGiz> Enhanced interrogation machines
<@TheGiz> Gladiator Bloodsports
<@TheGiz> whatever
#309108 (23/49) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<~derpcat> iirc some reports from chernobyl said people tasted metal when there was radiation
<@Alias> Chernobyl was a graphite cooled reactor.
<@Alias> So that's easy to explain away
<~derpcat> well, it does go with the idea of communism
<~derpcat> this radiation belongs to all of us in equal measure
#305512 (62/96) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<snaphat> what does ({}) mean?
<snaphat> i tried googling and google doesn't even know
<NN> snaphat: Unless I'm quite mistaken, female genetalia.
<snaphat> thats what I thought, but I i've never seen it before
#301667 (32/76) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Knoeki> My penis runs Linux.
<Knoeki> It has a high uptime, works well under load, but when load gets too high, it dumps it's core and reboots :_D
* iamalion formats Knoeki's penis and installs windows 95
<iamalion> not anymore BUHAHAHA
<Knoeki> iamalion: yeah, but now you can play more games with it ;_)
Comment: #zomgwtfbbq @ irc.p2p-network.net
#296660 (8/36) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[@Aetos]: so the point of this channel is A) talk to people of similiar interest, B) Make fun of Aetos
#308292 (43/69) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<%K-man> Simmml: there's a saying... "It's pointless to alt-tab porn... if your other window is also porn..." :P
<Simmml> hehe That's the problem ;P
<Simmml> What works too is just switching the screen off.... or locking the door... or getting your own apartment...
<Simmml> although closing windows and tabs will not help much I think considering that you're still sitting infront of your pc without pants on? ;)
<%K-man> ahhh.. yes... the single hardest choice every young boy eventually has to make in his life.... hide the porn or hide the penis....
<Simmml> cruel world ;P
<%K-man> at that point, you learn the art of "fap shui".. the art of rearranging your room so that you don't have to hide anything if anyone bursts is.
<%K-man> it's a legit ancient art I swear...
<%K-man> perfected by horny ninjas...
#308202 (47/97) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Nanobot> Roses are dead, violets are too, sugar is usually high fructose corn syrup, and we could both have equally stable relationships with countless other partners.
<@Moon_Dog3VO> ...
<@Nanobot> I think I got the meter off a bit
<@Moon_Dog3VO> maybe
#305843 (11/47) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
Murphy: I noticed something this morning. when we were at the funeral home, before they brought him out to the hearse, they said a prayer
Murphy: the our father
Murphy: and apparently, when you have about 40-50 people mumbling the our father
Murphy: it sounds exactly like Frank's voice from Donnie Darko
#302558 (24/32) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Carlambor> when I was in primary school in handcraft classes, I said to my teacher "Will i get an A if I carve your portrait out of wood with a knife?" and he said "it's forbidden to make pictures of god"
#300527 (26/56) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
{rammy} all i really know about electricity is white to bright, black to brass, and green to ground.
{Alejo} and two in the pink one in the stink
{rammy} that's sex alejo
{rammy} wrong subjet
{Alejo} uhhh its the shocker
#294906 (-88/124) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
This is Hacked by IzmirLadde
checked your security *G*
Comment: This Site is Hacked by IzmirLadde
#310619 (39/43) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
bcallah | yeah I'm going to bed before I end up in another openbsd fanfic
#310560 (32/36) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@PapaJohn> that's like the BRT in my old shop
<@PapaJohn> nobody knew what it was
<@PapaJohn> i gave briefings to very high officials using the acronym and never got asked
<@PapaJohn> oh we use this signal, run it through a typical BRT and
<@PapaJohn> brt meant Big Round Thing
<@PapaJohn> true story bro
Comment: PapaJohn is ex US military
#305292 (50/74) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<marshalldavis> new pet peeve - users registering with our site who have a www prefix on the email address
<marshalldavis> this one had his resume as a wps and stuck a .doc on the end...
<BadMojo> I started using PDF after finding out that many recruiters/headhunters were changing my resume. They didn't typically have access to tools to edit my PDF.
<RangerRick> I always send mine in a custom binary format, zipped along with a text file of the spec on how to implement a parser
<RangerRick> it's a custom variant of UNICODE, called UTF-13
<tyler_wylie> RangerRick: nah it should be UTF-|-15| ( absolute value)
<BadMojo> I hand over a platinum plate, laser etched with my resume, and attached to a replica of a voyager space probe.
Comment: #opennms
#296807 (36/52) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<skint> i heard all Russians are poor and illiterate
<lennoxRU> almostly
#310401 (55/65) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Zavie> Saga_Musix this actually happened when opening my Internet line: "Do you want a phone?" "hmm why not, how much? ok then." ... later: "Please write your name, address, phone number..." "I don't have a phone number." "We need a phone number." "You do realize you are asking me for a phone number to open a phone line?" (embarrased) "yes, it's a little stupid"
#311166 (21/29) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
swift110 | Sup y'all
<-- | Nothing_Much (Nothing_Muc@user/Nothing-Much/x-98833468) has quit (Connection closed)
BungusMcFungus | ^
#311140 (27/31) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
< m1dnight_> Jezus, these damn terrorists are blowing up half my
< m1dnight_> I was late for the university today.
< m1dnight_> Thank god I had to pass 2 bombsites on my way to the university. Not to mention the fact that my university was an actual target (immediate threat)
< m1dnight_> Man this stuff is surreal. People are texting me to ask me if I'm alive..
< m1dnight_> Even one guy "I knew I had to try IRC to contact you so I installed this mirc thing" :>>>
#302071 (33/55) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<rigeld2> Just got a workorder with a list of domains who supposedly blacklist us.  Our domain is on that list.  I wonder when we started blacklisting ourselves.
* rigeld2 stabs stupid people
<inode0> I would do it if I had the power
<inode0> I could improve the lives of 60,000 people just like that
#307473 (61/107) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Sanzh>  wouldn't penis math be cockulus
<TheDeleter> Prickonometry?
<Schazer> dongrivatives?
<Jacquerel> arithmadicks
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