QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
DreamHost About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#303335 (64/98) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<noms> I WANT TACOS.
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
#311127 (46/68) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<danh> some super creepy dude has sat down at my table
<danh> im about to get stabbed
<l0de> are you at a coffee shop
<danh> yeah
<danh> 20 tables free... chose me!
<danh> he's not wearing any underwear
<danh> dont ask me how i know
#310532 (55/77) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< wushin> I don't make typos, I make git learning experiences.
#310412 (51/81) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* xobs is in China now, going back to Singapore tomorrow.
<@xobs> i forgot my keyboard in Singapore.  The one i got here in Shenzhen iss a special kind of awful.  IIt seems to olke to repeat keys randomly.  Makese logging in and putting in passwords a bit of a challenge.
<@xobs> Actually one of the thinigs I'll have  to oworrk on that's kinid of challenginig is wwhat to do on fiirst boot
<@xobs> Moost distroos set upu pthiingns like username, passworrd, timemzone,, etc.. durinig seteup.  WWe'll havev to odo that on first boot.
<@xobs> ...this is a areally, rreally bad keybooard.
Comment: #kosagi on OFTC
#309889 (45/77) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zelest> I downloaded a porno today...
<Zelest> Which started with a HUGE dubstep drop
<Zelest> Biggest turn off ever
#308131 (37/73) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SnortnSnowflakes> getting on the plane
<SnortnSnowflakes> and blowing that
<SnortnSnowflakes> thing
<SnortnSnowflakes> up
<dippingsauce> oh thats way different than my master plan
<SnortnSnowflakes> well
<SnortnSnowflakes> you'd be doing all the blowing
<SnortnSnowflakes> so
<SnortnSnowflakes> it's not too different from your plan
<dippingsauce> naw im going to just hijack it and land it safely and then over the intercom yell MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIM FOR LIFE BITCHES then bounce out before the police come
#306347 (56/86) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Symantic> Envious i need help.
<Symantic> I have a extra internal hard-drive space in my laptop. I'm only using one.
<Envious> Okay?
<Envious> fill it with peanut butter,
<Envious> then it won't be empty.
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.net
#303447 (67/101) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Broseidon> i've got a trial shift tomorrow \o/
< AdmiralGT> trial shift?
< Broseidon> yeah
< Broseidon> on a customer returns desk in ikea xD
< Extapathy> do you have to build the desk first?
#301975 (61/101) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GrooveDog> Unfortunately I have the programming knowledge of a walrus.
<GrooveDog> But I'll figure it out, thanks for the help. :)
<bburhans> I happen to have in my possession a very gifted walrus who speaks four natural languages and was computer literate at the age of two months... and walruses live a very long time :)
<GrooveDog> lol.
<GrooveDog> Either way, I have less knowledge of python than a python.
<bburhans> a shame, indeed. My python only knows Perl. But damn, he can do regular expressions nearly as well as the penguin...
Comment: from #supybot on freenode
#301528 (59/101) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Z1LCH> hmm
<@Z1LCH> I got a custard headache
<+raz> do you mean cluster headache?
<@Z1LCH> no
<@Z1LCH> I ate custard
<@Z1LCH> and now I have a headache
<@Z1LCH> custard headache
#301493 (49/105) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Abdoul> will u quit if he fired me?
<Ryan> shit no i got bills to pay
<Abdoul> what?
<Abdoul> u're not a friend
<Ryan> not a stupid one
<Abdoul> i'll get u fired
<Abdoul> and then quit with u to prove how much of a great friend I am
<Ryan> uhm...
#310766 (54/64) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tmkf> if you offered steve ballmer a faustian bargain where he could do it all again, with full foreknowledge of how 2000-2010 transpired, but in return he would have to legally change his name to 'stevie peepants' and go by it
<tmkf> would he do it?
<pyna> probably. cause money
<pyna> one of the richest men in the world is named Anurag Dikshit - maybe that happened to him
#308078 (52/66) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< rev> liberty village is kinda a new area
< rev> it was a carpet factory/ ww2 weapons factory, so there was a railroad into here
< rev> railroad corp dont need permits to dig around their tracks
< rev> so porn companies came in and ordered fiber
< rev> and how there is fiber the tech companies came
< rev> 5 years ago, if you worked late chances were you would walk into an exibitionist scene being filmed while getting to your car
< rev> good times back then.
#311581 (55/79) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dysk> I began experiencing an unintended consequence ever since I put a lot of my old crappy MIDI music on SoundCloud.
<YelseyKing> ...what?
<dysk> Random people have been liking specific songs and following me, for an incredibly stupid reason.
<YelseyKing> Oh noes. People *like* your music? Dreadful.
<dysk> They have automated bot-type abilities to search for, and like, absolutely any song with specific words in the title, regardless of the song's content.
<YelseyKing> Oh. Hah. Dumb bots.
<dysk> Stupidest thing I've ever heard.
<YelseyKing> Yeah.
<dysk> So I have a few songs with the word "Party" in the title. I get notifications from out of nowhere about these accounts that like my "Party" songs, so I'm curious about these accounts and look them up. They also like tens of
thousands of other songs and audio files with "Party" in the title, from disco to hip-hop to political rallies.
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> Bots are so dumb.
<dysk> I tell you, nothing gets a dance floor moving quite like a Bob Dole speech from 1996.
<YelseyKing> Oh yes.
#311454 (69/93) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Val> Oddish, holy fuck
<Val> I'm sitting, parked, on a dirt road in my cab. Call comes on the radio from dispatch, quote, "Who wants to do a pickup right now?"
<Val> I hit E to accept.
<Val> A Sadler - basically a Ford F-250 crew cab - rear-ends my taxi.
<Val> I guess I consented.
<Oddish> .....
#311395 (122/148) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Xhiel: OH MY GOD
Xhiel: so these's an online company that make mini bricks for construction stuff
Xhiel: and there's a reddit thread where a poster said he once masturbated used a miniature brick anally
Xhiel: and it got stuck inside, so he had to literally shit a brick
Xhiel: so someone links the website that makes tiny bricks
Xhiel: and the owner notices all the traffic
Xhiel: and tracks the fucking thread down
Xhiel: I can't right now
Xhiel: I have lost my ability to even
Xhiel: THAT'S IT
Xhiel: I"M DONE
#310595 (62/68) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@kmcdon> PenPen: what do you do as an it professional
<%PenPen> kmcdon: bitch about users on irc
#309106 (69/85) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zirak> So, I began to install Arch Linux. Had some problem with the booting device, but it happened before, no biggie.
<Zirak> Fixing that problem made a bigger problem. Which made a bigger problem.
<Zirak> Eventually, arch told me "Bailing out, you are on your own. Good luck."
<Zirak> Followed by a kernel panic
#304483 (45/89) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<warpy> i guess i should just go to bed, election results won't be up for another few hours anyway
<bucketmo> just go to bed with your window open
<bucketmo> if prop 19 passes, you'll smell it.
Comment: ~7PM 11/2/10
#302032 (100/148) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+MachineDog> ....crap, how do I do the action things?
<+Kitten> you do /me
<+MachineDog> you WISH
Comment: My first day on IRC
#310054 (72/98) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@dmd> two old people were arguing over whose car a car was
<@dmd> and one was demonstrating that their key worked
<@dmd> and the other was using the impeccable argument that "it looks like my car"
<@dmd> i was at a stop light so i had to leave
<@dmd> but i assume this was resolved either by the correct party getting in and driving away
<@dmd> or by thunderdome
#305954 (45/83) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
DrZoidberg: i have more beef hanging around in my colon than three Weinerschnitzels have in their combined freezers.
EvilBunnyFuFu: thankfully, Dr Zoidberg has no clue what a colon is..
Russ: Colon, not to be confused with a semi-colon.
DrZoidberg: semi-colon is half-assed
#311601 (74/84) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Muad-Dib> I use IRC by carrier pigeon
<yipdw> I use it by boat
<yipdw> connection reset by pier
#311594 (48/70) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AAA> Ugh. SELinux is a pain in my ass. :(
<BBB> I'm not sure it's designed to go there
#311431 (57/85) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
curiousjock> hi
<sickleanna> hiya curiousjock
<curiousjock> hey there sickleanna
<bubblegumbitch> oh sick leanna. i thought anna was a communist lol
* sickleanna is now known as sickle-anna
<sickle-anna> lets roll with it
<TungstenCarbide> can't roll
<TungstenCarbide> someone sliced the tires
<TungstenCarbide> someone with a SICKLE
save page | share <Prev1234567..594Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,835 quotes approved; 8,757 fermenting; karma: 189.6583