|#276906 (56/82) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
xxx: told my boyfriend I wanna wake up to oral pleasure
xxx: and I woke up in the morning, cuz he was trying to stick his dick into my mouth
|#309219 (29/47) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<@Kain_Dragoon> lol..... just ran google translate on a page full of names of hentai doujinshi
<@Kain_Dragoon> its funny shit
<@Kain_Dragoon> its so literal
<@Kain_Dragoon> Relocation of the capital hundred raw vagina
<@Zinic> And this is why I don't do this
|#307252 (52/82) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
Lemmiwinks: You make some very good points
Lemmiwinks: .,.,, mine are all wonky
|#304001 (47/89) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
Liam: Are you familiar with Cleverbot?
Scaramouche: She's fun.
Liam: I have two instances of cleverbot talking to each other.
Liam: Although a lot of what they're saying is quite dadaistic
Liam: -Why are all your family and friends working?
-We are not.
-Yes you are.
-Why do you think so?
-Because your math skills are horrible. 198 minus 7 is 191.
-My marbles are right where I need them. Under the feet of my enemies...
Liam: -I have no marshmallows.
|#300564 (33/61) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
Alpha_Bling: You know what a masked booby bird is?
Alpha_Bling: from galapagos islands?
BadSpoon: probably similar to a bearded tit
|#300402 (47/67) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<lewwy> so i invited some chicks over tomorrow night to build a computer
<lewwy> cuz they're sorta interested in how computers work etc etc
<lewwy> but they cancelled on me this morning...
<Splinton> Ah, thats not good.
<lewwy> yeah i wonder if i scared them off after i started reffering to at as "wild unprotected pc building"
|#258726 (47/59) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<AtoB> I needed an extra xp cd, so i downloaded one and formatted my computer. When i was about to reinstall, i found out that i had forgot to burn the cd...
|#311302 (43/77) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<dn5> I have int start = 1476620495; and int end = 1476620495 (unix timestamp), but if I have int res; and then res = end - start, res returns 0 when printf with %d
<izalove> because it's the same number?
<dn5> okay thats not supposed to happen haha
<candide> Days since our last accident: 0Comment: ##c at freenode
|#311121 (41/81) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<atom_bomb> my girlfriend has been pressuring me to write a book about about my engineering methodology
<atom_bomb> (after i told her how much money the agile software alliance makes)
<atom_bomb> my methodology is essentially a longwinded justification of procrastination
<atom_bomb> it just happens to be scrum-compatible and highly effective
|#306043 (26/118) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
Akensai: if there is a hell, im going to it.
Akensai: research paper due: april 11 - i wrote it 10 minutes ago
Akensai: and i wont lose any points.
Akensai: opened an image in notepad, renamed it to research-final.docx and submitted, knowing full well it would take him 2 weeks to grade
(7:22:21 AM) Akensai: so i get an email an hour ago "The doc you submitted is corrupt, can you email it to me real fast? Sorry about this."
Akensai: so i wrote it in about 45 minutes and sent it
Akensai: he read it, got an A
Akensai: most of it was bullshit and broken reference links that i purposely placed, fake URLS to highly prestigious colleges/etc, just broke links and made em look real
Akensai: not my fault is a source is MIA
Akensai: 3 pages of made up crap that i didnt research, turned in more than a week late, written in 45 minutes. 98% A
|#301914 (26/110) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Stormgren> She's sorta hitting on him
<Stormgren> but she's a known oddball
<Stormgren> like if you broke up with her, you'd find squirrel skulls hanging on your doorknob crazy
<Jesus> cleaned skulls, or still bloody?
<Jesus> also, does that crazy translated into depraved sexual acts?
<muchomas> depraved or not, it'll end in tears
<Dopey> is she single?
|#300966 (27/143) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
******: they say that an oracle dba, having passed all oracle exams and received every oracle certification, can kill a man with a single sql query
|#305600 (19/127) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<liarmoose> I'm just mad 'cause I know it's irrational to get revenge by throwing up on the cat.Comment: #lfs:1 otherworlders.org
|#305467 (16/128) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
< ArtForz> work is failure to efficiently procrastinate.
|#310904 (-36/88) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Phase> what html do function does function calls actually generate?
<Phase> if youcan't tell, i didn't speel welo
<Xena> can you words that again?
|#309813 (3/141) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
(Discussing random number systems)
<brousch> What if I'm using a headless system with no disk?!
<brousch> And no network
<mfarver> a headless system with no disk and no network is a brick. Typically those don't have much use for entropy
<mfarver> sufficient entropy is not a feature I look for in a device to support the short end of the couch.
|#309810 (8/150) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
VioletFox: so lets say you have been married for 10+ years and you are still in love with your wife. theres a disaster of somer kind, zombies or something. and you also recently had a baby. its at most 1 year old. And something happens, there is only enough time to save one. who do you choose?
lewdicus: Wife, for the following reasons:
lewdicus: 1) Society has invested a LOT in making her functional. The baby is comparatively worthless
lewdicus: 2) She can walk
lewdicus: 3) Infant mortality has only been low for the last 200 years - probably the baby would have been dead had I been born in a different time anyway
lewdicus: 4) Babies are pretty easy to make
lewdicus: 5) The societal infrastructure for making new adult humans is probably gone, but the reproductive infrastructure for making new babies is always there
lewdicus: 6) Sex
lewdicus: 7) Love
lewdicus: QED babies suck uninstall life.exe
|#308419 (-64/126) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Kelso> I try my best to avoid myself.
|#304083 (-31/183) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<geeknik> YouTube is infinitely more enjoyable when you completely hide the comments section on every video
|#302169 (-38/168) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<scgtrp> froggey: [Link to circuit diagram]
<scgtrp> what's that thing above the transistor?
<froggey> a diode and a thing
<scgtrp> yes, what's the thing?
<solemnwarning> It's a box with a diagonal line through it
<froggey> that's what i thought
* scgtrp facepalms.
<froggey> scgtrp: go find a box with a diagonal line through it
|#295147 (-33/171) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<Tex> there was an incident a while back where someone threw out a baby
<Tex> ended up in a recycling center
<Lucifer7> what's worse than a bucket of oh hell i've said this too many times
<Tex> in the machines
<Tex> they had to shut the whole place down
<Tex> biohazard nightmare
<Lucifer7> their entire operation shut down in an infant
|#310981 (-23/157) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
* froggey hopes that didn't break anything
<scgtrp> you managed to set a network card on fire, didn't you
<froggey> my test machine has no power button, so I've been poking the on/off header with a screwdriver
<froggey> I missed
|#310729 (-81/133) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
< wushin> I'm freaking out.
< MadCamel> Why?
< wushin> I accidentally sold a theater to my neighborhood and they are buying it.
|#310126 (-70/168) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
<schuko> i've had my share with C working with embedded software
<schuko> it's like star wars
<schuko> you shave off a few bytes and then there's a new hope
<schuko> then you run the test suite and the empire strikes backComment: #/g/sicp on Rizon
|#309822 (-94/158) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag |
< wushin> I just think client-facing it's like slapping someone in the face with a paper bag full of poo
< Fother> How so?
< wushin> idk, I just use graphic analogies
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