QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
DreamHost About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1234567..594Next>
#301428 (67/119) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DobyMick> god, inglorious bastards is such a sick movie!
<DobyMick> so what if the "good" guys are jewish and the "bad" guys are nazis, its still violence and murder!
<DobyMick> i mean, how would people feel if someone made a movie where the positions were reversed?
<Fulup>They already did. It's called a documentary.
#311531 (40/56) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pflanze> in any case, I can see why you changed your userid from ``bigassniggaonascooterdrinkingcaprisun`` before launching the business
#311370 (52/72) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Helix_Mouse> breadsticks are delicious
<Helix_Mouse> I want a breadstick
<MilesGates> >:C
<MilesGates> Whats the magic word?
<Helix_Mouse> accio breadstick
#309820 (39/55) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< MadCamel> I'd like TMW to get an email address that current TMW admins always have access to. Then I can hand off all control to TMW and stop being the middleman. That way if I get hit by a bus TMW'd be fine. Though I'd like
to think that having me around as server-cowboy is handy and would like to keep helping..
* Ablu writes a letter to all bus drivers...
< MadCamel> I always say hit by a bus, because that happened to a friend. And he didn't plan for it. His irc clients stayed logged in for 3 years. Nobody had keys to his client's servers or authority to talk to the
datacenters. They had to fax around his death certificate to get it straightened out.
< MadCamel> Rather sobering
#309051 (238/256) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
DaMan: ALX: We fixed the y2k crap months ago.
!!SYSTEM: TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19100!!"
Jenny: omg.
HEX: BWAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!!
DaMan: crap.
--
!!SYSTEM: TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19101!!"
Fred: that is curious. how does it come up with the year 19101?
DaMan: It just prepends "19" to the number of years since 1900. Forgot to fix it last year, heh.
--
!!SYSTEM: TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19102!!"
Fred: Im pretty sure we are now the only platform in the nebula with a remaining y2k bug :-P
Grayson: ha.
(O)DaMan: Should be fixed now.
--
!!SYSTEM> TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19103!!"
!!SYSTEM> DaMan changed topic to "Happy New Year 2003!!"
--
!!SYSTEM> TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19104!!"
DaMan> The hell?
KoderKane> Are you sure you recompiled the binary or whatever after fixing it?
DaMan> I think so.
--
***  TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19105!!"
Zer0: Holy Carp, we skipped the whole second millennium and went right to the 19000's XD
DaMan: Im planning a "Back to the Future" remake.
nobody: In the yearrr Nineteen One-oh-five- if DaMan is, still alive... Will he fix, that damn bot?
--
***  TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19106!!"
Nimda> Well at least he has an excuse this year..
lollz> he does?
Nimda> Yeh, he got hit by a bus.
CoJaBo> o_O
--
***  TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19107!!"
DaMan> My new years resolution for this year: fix y2k bug in trigon
CoJaBo> And just like last year, you'll completely blow it off.
--
! TRIGON changed topic to "Happy New Year 19108!!"
CoJaBo> derp: qdb.us/75182
DaMan> Yeh, ill fix it someday.
--
! TRIGON changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19109!!
< @DaMan> ^someone remember to remind me round when next December rolls around, to fix that.
--
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19110!!
< CoJaBo> At this rate, it'll still be saying that well into the next millennial roll-over XD
<@DaMan> You fix it then.
--
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19111!!
< Frylock> DaMan: I totally meant to remember to tell you this last month, but- Fix the damn bot!
< DaMan> Righty-o.
--
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 19112!!
< CoJaBo> ...
< DaMan> ah, crap.
--
< DaMan> I did fix it; honestly, it just got to be a nuisance, everyone asking "did ya fix the bot?" "is it still bugged?" "will the bot be there this year?" etcetera, ad nauseum.
! TRIGON has changed TOPIC to: Happy New Year 20113!!
< DaMan> dear god.
#308371 (26/50) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<bob> At last, a public opinion poll that gets the opinions of ordinary Americans on the issues that matter! Apparently, two thirds of Americans polled think that Barack Obama is better suited to defend against an alien invasion than Mitt Romney, according to a survey from National Geographic Channel
<ramsey> those are really the things that matter
<ramsey> but I'm more interested in who is better suited to get us through the impending zombie apocalypse, since it's more impending than an alien invasion
<bob> i'd probably still choose the black one.
<ramsey> wow
#308117 (61/85) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Baljem: BBC News Headline "'GPS brain cells' seen in pigeons"
Baljem: look, dipshits, it may come as a surprise
Baljem: but there are perfectly good methods of navigation that existed for quite some time before GPS
Baljem: so could we /please/ stop referring to anything to do with being able to fucking navigate as 'satnav' and 'GPS'?  before I have to come and smack you around a bit?  kthx
RS_Asleep: Baljem: Now they could use an iPhone and have always up-to-date information and the pigeon could use them 53 brain cells for something else! ;)
Baljem: impossible
Baljem: nothing with 53 or more brain cells would buy an iPhone in the first place ;)
#305243 (43/69) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
cmca: so i've been playing starcraft a lot late at night and i think its starting to infiltrate my real life
cmca: me, emi, kyle, and paul were coming back from lunch and we got to the door that requires a key card. and we all just stood there, everyone waiting for someone else to swipe theirs
cmca: and my first thought was "shit, i missed the minerals when i set the rally point for the drones"
rnovel: HAHAHAHAH
cmca: and then i shook myself and swiped my card...
#302911 (34/48) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+psypete> sometimes i want to poop
<+psypete> but then i try to go and i can't
<+psypete> and i feel like i've let myself down
<+ashi> It is natural to become attached to something you carry inside you for an extended period of time.
<+ashi> Feeling it grow ... and move.
<+ashi> Still, you have to let go when the time comes.
<+rowboat> thats some shitty advice
#291749 (46/60) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Max[Tea`age]> just sneezed my headphones across the room
#309641 (58/82) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
ttvd: i can dress my roomba in french maid outfit
ttvd: sadly, probably not the oddest thing i have done
Comment: EFnet
#303335 (66/100) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<noms> I WANT TACOS.
* Burrito has quit (Quit: Leaving)
#311127 (47/69) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<danh> some super creepy dude has sat down at my table
<danh> im about to get stabbed
<l0de> are you at a coffee shop
<danh> yeah
<danh> 20 tables free... chose me!
<danh> he's not wearing any underwear
<danh> dont ask me how i know
#310532 (58/80) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< wushin> I don't make typos, I make git learning experiences.
#310412 (51/83) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* xobs is in China now, going back to Singapore tomorrow.
<@xobs> i forgot my keyboard in Singapore.  The one i got here in Shenzhen iss a special kind of awful.  IIt seems to olke to repeat keys randomly.  Makese logging in and putting in passwords a bit of a challenge.
<@xobs> Actually one of the thinigs I'll have  to oworrk on that's kinid of challenginig is wwhat to do on fiirst boot
<@xobs> Moost distroos set upu pthiingns like username, passworrd, timemzone,, etc.. durinig seteup.  WWe'll havev to odo that on first boot.
<@xobs> ...this is a areally, rreally bad keybooard.
Comment: #kosagi on OFTC
#309889 (45/79) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zelest> I downloaded a porno today...
<Zelest> Which started with a HUGE dubstep drop
<Zelest> Biggest turn off ever
#308131 (36/74) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SnortnSnowflakes> getting on the plane
<SnortnSnowflakes> and blowing that
<SnortnSnowflakes> thing
<SnortnSnowflakes> up
<dippingsauce> oh thats way different than my master plan
<SnortnSnowflakes> well
<SnortnSnowflakes> you'd be doing all the blowing
<SnortnSnowflakes> so
<SnortnSnowflakes> it's not too different from your plan
<dippingsauce> naw im going to just hijack it and land it safely and then over the intercom yell MICROSOFT FLIGHT SIM FOR LIFE BITCHES then bounce out before the police come
#306347 (57/89) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Symantic> Envious i need help.
<Symantic> I have a extra internal hard-drive space in my laptop. I'm only using one.
<Envious> Okay?
<Envious> fill it with peanut butter,
<Envious> then it won't be empty.
Comment: #computerhope on irc.mibbit.net
#303447 (68/104) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Broseidon> i've got a trial shift tomorrow \o/
< AdmiralGT> trial shift?
< Broseidon> yeah
< Broseidon> on a customer returns desk in ikea xD
< Extapathy> do you have to build the desk first?
#301975 (60/102) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GrooveDog> Unfortunately I have the programming knowledge of a walrus.
<GrooveDog> But I'll figure it out, thanks for the help. :)
<bburhans> I happen to have in my possession a very gifted walrus who speaks four natural languages and was computer literate at the age of two months... and walruses live a very long time :)
<GrooveDog> lol.
<GrooveDog> Either way, I have less knowledge of python than a python.
<bburhans> a shame, indeed. My python only knows Perl. But damn, he can do regular expressions nearly as well as the penguin...
Comment: from #supybot on freenode
#301528 (61/103) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Z1LCH> hmm
<@Z1LCH> I got a custard headache
<+raz> do you mean cluster headache?
<@Z1LCH> no
<@Z1LCH> I ate custard
<@Z1LCH> and now I have a headache
<@Z1LCH> custard headache
#301493 (52/108) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Abdoul> will u quit if he fired me?
<Ryan> shit no i got bills to pay
<Abdoul> what?
<Abdoul> u're not a friend
<Ryan> not a stupid one
<Abdoul> i'll get u fired
<Abdoul> and then quit with u to prove how much of a great friend I am
<Ryan> uhm...
#310766 (55/65) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tmkf> if you offered steve ballmer a faustian bargain where he could do it all again, with full foreknowledge of how 2000-2010 transpired, but in return he would have to legally change his name to 'stevie peepants' and go by it
<tmkf> would he do it?
<pyna> probably. cause money
<pyna> one of the richest men in the world is named Anurag Dikshit - maybe that happened to him
#308078 (54/68) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< rev> liberty village is kinda a new area
< rev> it was a carpet factory/ ww2 weapons factory, so there was a railroad into here
< rev> railroad corp dont need permits to dig around their tracks
< rev> so porn companies came in and ordered fiber
< rev> and how there is fiber the tech companies came
< rev> 5 years ago, if you worked late chances were you would walk into an exibitionist scene being filmed while getting to your car
< rev> good times back then.
#311581 (55/79) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<dysk> I began experiencing an unintended consequence ever since I put a lot of my old crappy MIDI music on SoundCloud.
<YelseyKing> ...what?
<dysk> Random people have been liking specific songs and following me, for an incredibly stupid reason.
<YelseyKing> Oh noes. People *like* your music? Dreadful.
<dysk> They have automated bot-type abilities to search for, and like, absolutely any song with specific words in the title, regardless of the song's content.
<YelseyKing> Oh. Hah. Dumb bots.
<dysk> Stupidest thing I've ever heard.
<YelseyKing> Yeah.
<dysk> So I have a few songs with the word "Party" in the title. I get notifications from out of nowhere about these accounts that like my "Party" songs, so I'm curious about these accounts and look them up. They also like tens of
thousands of other songs and audio files with "Party" in the title, from disco to hip-hop to political rallies.
<YelseyKing> lol
<YelseyKing> Bots are so dumb.
<dysk> I tell you, nothing gets a dance floor moving quite like a Bob Dole speech from 1996.
<YelseyKing> Oh yes.
save page | share <Prev1234567..594Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,853 quotes approved; 8,711 fermenting; karma: 189.5252