QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1234567..586Next>
#303435 (34/70) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Nativehomie> married onijin?
<~onijin> no
<~onijin> I have a fleshlight
#311220 (56/58) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<thebananaking> I'm sick and my cat died :(
<thebananaking> kidney stone, blocked bladder, no symptoms until too late
<thebananaking> he was a terrible cat, had no idea how to cat
<thebananaking> but I'll miss the little fucker
<thebananaking> there was a communications stuffup at the vet, and I got a followup call the next day to see how he was doing
<thebananaking> I couldn't help myself and said "well, he's not doing much..."
<thebananaking> I don't think I've ever heard anyone blush before
#310827 (24/30) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Kyol> Oh good!  My dog's found a chainsaw!
<me_tew> That's one hell of a retriever, Kyol.
#307796 (31/51) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< er1c_> im curious to know about your knowledge of the tensile strength of a vagina though, vhost-.  or maybe not
< craige> He was a large baby
< craige> We should leave it at that :p
< vhost-> dude, they can squeeze hard
< vhost-> a penis just kind of sits there, then it raises a little bit, but still just sort of stays there
< vhost-> you can't flex your balls
< er1c_> i um... saw my daughter come into this world.  i was adamant about not looking but the fucking nurse kept telling me i needed to see the miracle.  words fail me at describing that horror scene
< vhost-> ~(:D)~ OH HAI
#307572 (26/56) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< nathan> GODDAMNIT
< nathan> my DB is being an anus to me
< tonyb486> ANUS DB?!
< tonyb486> with the anusdb, every user gets their own "anus," and are encouraged to say things like "just store it in my anus"
#307229 (42/72) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Haschel> Hmm.  Wolfram Alpha can't calculate the dietary fiber in half the mass of the moon in Triscuits.
#311081 (33/49) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<~LexPro> #foreveralone unable to join channel (channel is full)
<~LexPro> IRONY
#310842 (15/25) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<maime> That means nothing to a card carrying makeup whore.
<TheEnigma> You carry a card that says "Makeup Whore" on it?
<maime> No but I like to call myself a card carrying makeup whore when the occassion arises.
<maime> Its difficult to explain.
<TheEnigma> Like right now, for instance.
<maime> Exactly
#307194 (38/72) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+Becky_> when I was like 10 or something I went on the internet to like a HTML chatroom on yahoo
<+Becky_> some guy had the nickname "blink182fan"
<+Becky_> I said to him that the blink tag sucks because it's not supported by all browsers
#306556 (25/51) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Strife89> Mother of fuck, Sintel has a 4k render.
<Strife89> Place your bets now: will my best computer be able to play this video?
<Ayen> Is a terrible explosion a possibility? If so, I'd go for that.
<Strife89> Ayen: Probably won't happen literally, but I'm betting on framerates below 1 FPS
<Ayen> I wish programs would show you fractional framerates when under 1
<Strife89> I wish they never had to.
<bildramer> lol
<Ayen> "Hah, you're rendering 1/8th of a frame per second"
<bildramer> I always found ms/f better than f/s
<Strife89> "You fail at hardware rendering FOREVER"
<Strife89> "Go get some new hardware, cheap bastard."
<Ayen> if I were programming something, I'd want to have the framerate counter display something like "Pitifully low" instead of >1
<Strife89> Ayen: For that, you might as well throw in a "umad?" or a trollface.
<Ayen> it'd be best if it was in some ridiculously small and simple program that shouldn't ever go below 100 fps or something.
<Strife89> glxgears, maybe
<Ayen> hah, the messages would rotate. "Are you running this on your Apple II?"
<Ayen> "Windows 95 is a bit out of date, by the way."
<Strife89> *snickers*
#305889 (37/63) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Jello_Raptor converts RebeccaRGB to a more print frindly color system
=-= RebeccaRGB is now known as RebeccaCMYK
#304473 (35/61) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< gordonjcp> oh deary me, someone has emailed me asking for advice on running a MUD under ax25d
< gordonjcp> yeah
< gordonjcp> 'cos individually, MUDs and packet radio aren't geeky enough by themselves
Comment: #scotlug
#303357 (19/57) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
tanuki: [URL of photo gallery]
tanuki: thoughts?
stabnburn: why is that creepy fat lady grabbing that kids boobs
tanuki: lolwut
... time passes ...
tanuki: stabnburn: Okay, I figured out WTF you're talking about.
tanuki: "that creepy fat lady" is my mother.
tanuki: And the kid is my nephew.
stabnburn: so um.  YOUR MOM
stabnburn: hahaa ahaaaahahaha hahahaahahaaaaa
jedrek: stabs has been waiting for like 4 years for this
tanuki: You fail humor forever.
#302466 (6/24) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Rjx> find out if she wants to bang, then bang her
<@Rjx> that should've been moses's commandments
#300860 (57/101) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<spigwitmerdicks> so i had this cool dream where i was in the hospital in a body cast and could only communicate with pen & paper, which for some reason i drew a dick on a paper that i gave back to a nurse.  a bunch of a nurses and doctors then gathered around it puzzled by the possible interpretations of what i wanted while i just laughed my ass off cause i just felt like drawing a fucking dick
#300619 (38/56) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sandm> if there are any tools to analyze memory leaks etc?
<_habnabit> valgrind.
<delimax> valgrind
<Chris> valgrind!!
<sandm> thanx all for answers....
<Chris> you're welcome, it helps to get different answers from different points of view.
#243632 (27/43) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Praz> man, listening to this brings back so few memories
<Praz> mainly just the one, same memory of me sitting in front of a computer but just different applications running on the screen
#205516 (21/55) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<oktommy> pop culture is getting more and mroe popular
#307664 (29/49) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Crescens2k> well, there are some h-manga artists who think you can fit arms, legs and penises the size of your arm in there without any problem, so why not a horses head
#307282 (30/46) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<&Tiggerz> i wish i could go trick-or-treating again
<&Bakamoichigei> Grab some kid off the street and tell them you'll give them a halloween costume and take them trick or treating if they split the candy with you.
<&Bakamoichigei> There's an alternate, more legal, version of this plan...but it takes like 6 years.
#311374 (32/40) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<RIDDL3R> Does anyone know which page in the Bible it explains how to turn water into wine?Comment: #4chan on Dalnet
#310956 (31/39) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<samantha> these recruiters are getting clever
<samantha> Subj: Disco Party??
<samantha> me: I love disco parties
<samantha> *open email* Hi Samantha, We're looking for a bada$$ front end engineer
<samantha> I WAS TRICKED
#306094 (48/78) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
yaoi_prophet: i see a red node and i want it painted black
yaoi_prophet: no children any more, i want it to turn black
yaoi_prophet: i see inserts go by, no matter how many nodes within
yaoi_prophet: i know that my tree's max height is bounded O(log n)
Comment: #cobol
#304174 (42/72) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Spance> "Certainly Java got a lot right - its used by 10 million developers."
<Spance> THERE ARE 350-500 MILLION CASES OF MALARIA A YEAR
<\> are you arguing that malaria isn't successful?
#309478 (28/108) ↑Good ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Moon_Doggy> thankfully the little red lines keep me from sounding drunk
save page | share <Prev1234567..586Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,631 quotes approved; 9,273 fermenting; karma: 190.3301