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#4848 (2925/5806) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ohm> damn
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> DAMN
<ohm> i was just in an AIM convo with a chick, and my grandmother's window pops up
<ohm> FUCK
<ohm> i go like this to her
<ohm> "i want to suck on your clit"
<ohm> FUCK
#4847 (80/284) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Gersh> wow
<Gersh> I rule
<Gersh> I made one of my ex's cry over aim
<Gersh> dammit I wish she had a webcam
#4844 (10/250) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jjz_> One point I had a MS Agent reading IRC windows while I'd play halflife
#4843 (98/255) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<GiRLiE-> ur cruel.. but funny
<bytraper> and you have a beuatiful mind... but you're fat
#4842 (-1/354) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Cyrix_> everytime you take a crap, you design the unique cracks and lines in your terds, and sometimes decorate them with peanuts or corn
<Cyrix_> and occasionally, you tint the shade. thats all designing
#4840 (163/331) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
* DuneBoy wonders why his code won't compile
<DuneBoy> missing ) my ass
<ZorbaTHut> "Ironically, however, his ass was indeed missing its right cheek."
#4839 (179/324) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Soronel> Just so everyone knows, if a life suddenly appears, I have dibs
<Soronel> I'm not likely to get one otherwise
#4838 (156/318) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Twingy> almost as annoying as you dal, except your hear longer
<DAL9000> that would be almost insulting if it were grammatically correct
#4837 (299/463) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<KeeperS> one of the questions on there is "HOW MANY SIDES DOES A TRIANGLE HAVE?"
<KeeperS> and it has a picture of a triangle
<KeeperS> and then 4 answer choices
<KeeperS> how do you get that wrong?
#4835 (118/275) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JeyK> 7) I wanted to see if my penis would fit through the CD.  It did, but the firemen and rescue squad had to break the CD to free me.
#4828 (174/365) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mov> DAL: u seen 2001 - A space odyssey?
<DAL9000> that has to be the stupidest question i've ever heard
#4827 (69/253) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Luney> i dunno i took an icq test and it said 180
#4825 (77/241) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Toramo has joined #---------
<Toramo> It's a full house tonight!!!
<Illuvatar> Can I be uncle Joey?
#4819 (35/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Topic is 'Current IQ is, make no mistake, 0120 (your IQ is subtantially higher, if you know what that is in decimal)'
<DuneBoy> fr0zen: it looked like base 3 to me, which would mean it was 25 isn;t it??? 0(3^3) + 1(3^3) + 2(2^3) + 1?
#4818 (12/224) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<vvortex3> hey, the isp i work for, cwnet has a legal copy of microsoft visual studio, but we cant find the cd, can someone please email me deruntime.dll so i can fix a bug in one of our machines?
<Cyrix> what.
<jim4> vv: no
<Cyrix> get a new cd
<Cyrix> or go to #mypersonalfileserver
*** vvortex3 (vvortex3@arena.cwnet.com) has left #C++
<snibril> we don't support warez, and neither incomptent isps
*** vvortex3 (vvortex3@arena.cwnet.com) has joined #c++
<vvortex3> jerk
<Cyrix> vvortex3 on @#mypersonalfileserver
#4816 (3/207) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<kanin> if (User->HasAppropriateBook()) { while (User->LacksClue()) { User->ReadAppropriateBook(); } }
else { while(User->HasNotGottenAppripriateBook()) {User->StumbleAroundHalfAssedInTheDark(); User->WhineOnIRC(); } }
#4815 (44/206) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Dabljuh> hey
<Dabljuh> People keep mentioning I would be akilled
<Dabljuh> which is simply not true
*** Quits: Dabljuh (~dabljuh@195.141.143.ZiRC-52133) (User has been banned from ZiRC (Repeated ban evasion))
#4814 (188/348) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ishmal> wandered into a lesbian bar once,  was there about an hour before i noticed
<ishmal> lots of girls,  no guys
<ishmal> thought i was just lucky
#4813 (0/264) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mov> scali and DAL here, cool must say
<DAL9000> mov: nice set of lips to reach my ass all the way from sweden
#4809 (167/369) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
*** Now talking in #bible
<Synial> Have you ever wondered what JESUS looks like without his skimpy loincloth? WITH advanced technology, we have made a realistic image of the full Jesus!  Is he hung like his dad? FIND OUT NOW! FREE XXX PICTURES!!!
#4801 (79/239) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Amanda> Oh yeah, a thug did his commemorative speech on "P Diddy" today
<kisama_> fuck thugs
<kisama_> thugs will amount to shit later
<kisama_> there's a bunch of thugs here taking CISCO NETWORKING CERTIFICATION courses
<kisama_> they are all "YEAH MAN I'M GONNA MAKE 80K COMING RIGHT OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL MAN!"
#4800 (61/241) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<lewpoo> whats the most advanced topic in java?
<joeblowgt> lewpoo: not getting kickbanned in #java
#4799 (114/339) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<BadM0f0> Hello, this is a Polish virus. Since we do not have the technology to create a real virus, please delete all files on your home directory.
#4797 (135/327) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<DrWoody> We're talking about C++ here right?
<detmod> no java, duh
<DrWoody> Oh, I though Univ. of IL was too l337 for java
<detmod> what the hell is l337?
<DrWoody> OMG YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY BE A COMP SCI MAJOR!  YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT L337 IS!!! =O
#4795 (272/414) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<The_Roach> Well, the boss' wife needs me to fix her computer.
<The_Roach> You know what that means.
<Anton> you're gonna be fixing a computer for a bit?
<Waldo> pr0n music stuck in your head?
<The_Roach> Yes and yes.
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