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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..484485486487488489490..596Next> |
#5956 (231/421) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Bojangle> My mom tells me I need to get laid |
#5942 (110/269) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DrWoody> Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'y' becomes silent. |
#5937 (11/287) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<hypr> i rolled once when i saw oakenfold a year ago he played really gay house and 5 trance songs at the end and my e dident even work
<matts> your e didn't work? did you read the manual |
#5934 (185/345) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<FutabaAoi> attractive girls like computers, i carry my case around town because it attracts chicks
<R0SC0E> no, attractive girls think guys that think girls are attracted to guys with computers are cute in a hurt puppy kind of way
<FutabaAoi> dont most people put down hurt puppies?
<FutabaAoi> does that mean attractive girls shoot computer nerds?
<R0SC0E> god i don't mean puppies with like missing limbs or exposed viscerals |
#5927 (90/338) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@wickedsun> I dont know the difference between games and reality anymore
<@wickedsun> I jsut used a shotgun on my mother and she's not respawning |
#5926 (-1/342) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<k|aNk> everyone loves phillipino women
<Acidfreak> i prefer tai or chinese women on philipinos
<k|aNk> i heard somewhere philipino women can contort theyre bodies into all kids of positions for sex
<k|aNk> especially when they wear those big hoop earings, theyre good for sticking their ankles through |
#5923 (2/285) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[mad] WHAT KINDA PRESIDENT DO WE GOT ANYWAYZ
[mad] HE SMOKES WEED AND DONT INHALE
[mad] GETS A BLOW JOB AND DONT CUM
[mad] I MEAN CMON. |
#5922 (0/239) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[idlez-] > trik: why doesn't anyone have your pic
[idlez-] [Trik] idlez-, no scanner
[idlez-] [Trik] faggot
[idlez-] > no
[idlez-] > when you scan it
[idlez-] > your hard drive reports bad sectors |
#5921 (-1/256) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[dj-fieX] why is everyone so scared of the y2k? isnt it a kind of jelly or something? |
#5920 (-1/344) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[Wz0Ds] hello i want some root i got a lots of CCs (verified) and 2 or 3 virgins /msg me (I HAVE TO VER/RIP FIRST) |
#5918 (56/290) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<base2> linux people think of windows more times a day than I think of sex |
#5914 (-3/290) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<kriticall> i can fold the $20 to look like two naked chicks |
#5903 (23/230) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gir> Final Fantasy: The Bible Adventure Coming to DVD
<Toen> what the hell is that?
<Gir> hehe
<Toen> "Cecil, deliver baby Moses! Please do not throw him into the water!" |
#5902 (216/373) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<The_Roach> I hear you're pissed.
<A|exander> who told you that
<The_Roach> Anton said you went to the pub.
<A|exander> does it necessarily follow that i'm pissed?
<The_Roach> ...
<The_Roach> Well, yes.
<A|exander> well, it turns out you;'re right
<A|exander> but don't be so presumptious in future |
#5900 (8/219) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<madvirii> you gotta wake up with a certain "attitude" to face the day and lick some asshole
<CoMBo> yeah or grow up eating some really shitty cooking to acquire a taste for anus
<madvirii> yes anus would be an acquired taste
<madvirii> not something you instinctively put to your mouth |
#5895 (-1/280) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<ackbar> marriage is like buying a car. Its better to lease them and get a new one next year |
#5888 (189/347) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<DooD> my stalking skills have left me with her phone number to 100% accuracy.
<DooD> along with her home address.
<DooD> you should always pay the extra $2.00 to keep your phone number unlisted.
<Wronski> maybe she is playing "easy to stalk" |
#5885 (48/233) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<splurge> i wish i had amazing powers of telekinesis
<splurge> i would be able to fondle boobies with my MIND!
<purenergy> ya
<purenergy> u can do that now
<purenergy> use ur imagination
<splurge> but i mean, imagine being able to stimulate a girl in a bar
<splurge> just stick a finger of telekinetic force up her spatch
<splurge> wiggle it around
<splurge> vibrate
<splurge> all sorts of crazy shit
<splurge> then get a good grip and gently lead her over to a seat beside you
<splurge> you'd get so much play it wouldn't even be funny |
#5883 (121/297) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<illz> "hypothetical ?: your best friend is seeing somebody. shes not around, he wants to fuck you and comes on to you. do you fuck him?"
<defz> wait
<defz> are you a guy? |
#5876 (20/244) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<straylight> Y'know, I just realized something... why the fuck are we
sending in the NORMAL armed forces against Osama bin Laden? Isn't this
right up GI JOE's alley?
<straylight> I mean, what the hell are we paying THEM for?
<straylight> Hell, the theme song even says "GI JOE is there!" |
#5874 (167/337) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Synoptica> having some major sound issues with gta
<Synoptica> cant think of why either
<bytraper> prolly because your gay
<Synoptica> yeah that's right
<Synoptica> gta has detected that i'm gay and adjusted it's performance accordingly |
#5872 (158/323) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kuiburetsu> I feel betrayed
<Kuiburetsu> denied
<Kuiburetsu> and... and...
<Kuiburetsu> erm...
<Kuiburetsu> about to be kicked for flooding
*** Kuiburetsu was kicked by Quiby (flood) |
#5869 (139/305) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Synoptica> holy fuck
<Synoptica> i like
<Synoptica> almost swallowed an aaa battery
<Synoptica> (dont ask) |
#5863 (6985/10080) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<mp> i am convinced i am a woman
<Oreoboros> mp: Why's that?
<mp> cuz i went to bed bath and beyond for a shower curtain and left with $700 worth of shit
<mp> and i had to go back because i realized after i checked out that i forgot to buy a fucking shower curtain |
#5862 (135/296) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<SDHawk> I tried to go to dictionary.com, but I can't spell it right. |
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