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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..469470471472473474475..596Next> |
#6909 (202/360) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<AaronSw> To prevent this day from getting worse, I'll just read ERROR as GOOD THING |
#6908 (279/461) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Toen> OH NO! A steamroller comes barreling down on brentai! He must roll 1d20! Less than 6 escapes death!
<Toen> unless he wants to use up his luck charm and make it a 1d10!
<Brentai> I use my raping skill to rape the steamroller.
<Toen> your rape is ineffective against the cold, solid steel!
<Brentai> Well, crud.
<Brentai> 1d10
<Dildice> Brentai: 9
<Brentai> Er, 1d20.
<Brentai> 1d20
<Dildice> Brentai: 14
<Brentai> Crap, and crap.
<Toen> squish
<Brentai> Well, I went out trying to rape a steamroller. It's a man's death. |
#6905 (47/210) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sbp> oh, I just remembered something
<Morbus> no, i already dropped your underwear in the mail. |
#6899 (4/215) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<NalezWork> aaw fuck
<NalezWork> I just did a rm -rf blah * instead of a rm -rf blah & |
#6894 (160/326) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
AtomicInternet: I'm going to download GTA3 and Warcraft III when it comes out and distribute them to everyone.
mavstring: that is wrong.
AtomicInternet: yes, it is. A single tear rolled down my cheek. |
#6893 (0/342) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dawgs> I got virgins who got a pimp? /msg me |
#6892 (109/239) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<fagg0t> I need no ignore list...I'm quite capable of ignoring people with my BRAIN |
#6891 (73/271) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<RazorX> tired of hearing my 200 pound upstairs neighbor walk
<chemdog> hey, I'm 200 lbs!
<RazorX> so is she
<chemdog> doh!
<FS_Falcon_GA> Raxoz you haven't tried to hit it yet?
<RazorX> no ive heard it getting hit.... i think it hits back
<FS_Falcon_GA> Man we didn't get you drunk enough yet. I'll have to work on that
<RazorX> not enough beer in the world my man |
#6890 (189/324) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<sal> how to best explain the need for distributed systems to management? redundancy?
<Morbus> bodies.
<Morbus> think about it: if you bury a single body in one place, when the police find it, you're screwed.
<Morbus> but cut a body up and bury it all over the place, and you're maximizing your potential.
<sal> yeah im sure that'll hit close enough to home |
#6889 (3/233) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<_Tenchi_> jwzrd-: are you a pole smoker too ?
<jwzrd-> _Tenchi_: why, you want your pole smoked ? |
#6886 (-1/297) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[Topic ] Synoptica changes topic to '[ madwoota != sober ]'
[madwoota ] since i have only to quote 2 lines from a .log file to change all your opinions, wonder hwat i couljd get insteae |
#6885 (90/271) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<rick_rizzy> dude how's this for a horror story
<rick_rizzy> i just ate a hershey's kiss
<rick_rizzy> but sort of half choked on it
<rick_rizzy> some of it got caught in my throat
<rick_rizzy> so i was all snorting and trying to cough it up
<rick_rizzy> and now it's all up in my upper throat and nasal passage
<rick_rizzy> I'M IN HELL |
#6883 (3/251) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
(Pills) "You've got a low IQ" (new signon to AOL sound) |
#6879 (4/279) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Bad-Co> Next time your having a bad day, think of this... Your a siamese twin, your brother is gay and your not. But you only got one arsehole. |
#6876 (225/353) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Spectra> hrm. Optus are going to start charging me >= $10 more per month, because "we listened to feedback from our customers".
<Spectra> I'm fascinated which customers said "we want to pay more for your service". |
#6875 (-1/212) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Guest11734> Hello! I can redirect all your bot op request, even BETWEEN
networks. Just type /msg Guest11734 op [botnick] [channel] [password],
and I'll fix it for you! |
#6872 (117/269) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Nova_Zion
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o Nova_Zion
TwistedSlinky: See. Channy *really* likes you. But watch out. Now that's he's opped you twice, he's gonna expect you to put out. |
#6871 (4/197) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Abyss: i deeply resent the use of the term 'purity' in any context with 'The Brothers Drunk.' :)
Phil: Oh I dunno. The purity of the alcohol is an important concept...
Dex: Yup, anything filtered through that many kidneys is going to have to be pure. |
#6870 (132/300) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Brucha: I've heard a Kirk/Spock/Scotty slash done similarily. It haunts my nightmares, I don't need a wrestling equivalent added. :) "The Vulcan emotion is strong and powerful...I, I can't contain it all..." "You get that thing away from him!"
Jim Smith: So, Kirk and Spock had an orgy and didn't invite Bones? I mean, who's gonna give you more gay sex satisfaction? A Scotsman? Or a guy named "Bones"?
Brucha: Something like that... Scotty stumbles upon them, tries to break it up, and then falls to the passion...
Jim Smith: He's such a slut...
TangleToy: *wipes off screen* I swear. Why I bother trying to drink anything while in here is beyond me. |
#6869 (49/219) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* BrooKiki is NOT a bad person.
BrooKiki: I'm not even a mean person. In fact, if people like that were drowned at birth like they SHOULD be, I'd be Miss Freaking Congeniality, dammit! |
#6868 (77/236) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Brooke just adores the way you people try to worm out of stuff. <G> "Could you explain it to Brooke?" "I'd love to, but I'm right in the middle of chewing my hand off." |
#6867 (12/251) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
Brooke: If I don't get a manicure, I'm going to stick my hands in the garbage disposal.
Lynxie: YOU CANNOT WRITE WITH NO HANDS! I DON'T WANT TO WAIT 'TIL YOU LEARN TO TYPE WITH YOUR NOSE!!!! |
#6864 (60/210) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* araignee doesn't care for DiCaprio. He's not to her taste.
Rapunzel452: He used to be able to act. Then he decided he didn't need to anymore. I have little respect for an actor who lets himself get upstaged by a ship.
hetros: I believe his enormous head, while an religious object in New Guinea, scares some folk. |
#6862 (152/308) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* AlecWire fires a crossbow dart through the arrow, landing it in Foe's crotch.
Foenix: HA! Joke's on you! I had no plans to use that for years! |
#6860 (23/215) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Alan wasn't aware Rap was an action figure.
Rapunzel452: Oh, yeah. Everyone wants a small plastic me adorning their shelf.
AlecWire: Or a large plastic blow-up you... |
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