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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..436437438439440441442..596Next> |
#8478 (25/251) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<cactoid> you're all gay
<cactoid> and those of you who are married, everyone knows it's a marriage of convenience |
#8477 (-1/332) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<helminthes> was the party cool?
<helminthes> like did you fuck any hoes
<rafeil> heh, no hoes
<helminthes> not even one? i mean at least one right
<rafeil> i just drank a little and talked
<helminthes> fucked her right in the face right
<rafeil> yeah
<helminthes> she was gagging out all your children just like a bitch |
#8476 (116/292) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<tm> meetings, the alternative to work
<Dane> meetings, the PRACTICAL alternative to work
<Rushn> Masterbation, the FUN alternative to work |
#8474 (193/366) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
[03:01]<monkey1> at least im not on IRC at 3 AM! |
#8473 (3/230) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sisko> I want to crawl up into the place I once was.
<mandi> the end of your dad's cock? |
#8472 (58/234) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<helminthes> and the little basket at the counter says tips, so you hock a big loogie in it and then you realize what you did and say, "oh shit i'm dyslexic" |
#8471 (283/467) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<sisko> Q. What's the height of conceit?
<sisko> A. Having an orgasm and calling out your own name.
<mmm> i do that
<mmm> "oh god" |
#8470 (125/291) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<PsykoFaerie> everyone got into discussions about how i must have an eating disorder. :|
<monk[e]> psyko, if you throw up right after eathing... intentionaly... you have an eating disorder
<Aelhaeran> Pysko: and if your prone to sharp, stabbing pains in your eye after a meal, chances are you have a fork lodged in it. |
#8469 (-1/248) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<helminthes> that's like one of those dennis miller jokes.. no one gets it, no one cares then everyone forgets about it and an afghan woman dies of heatstroke |
#8468 (0/227) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
* Tippytoes looks at kaff's box
<Tippytoes> err
<Tippytoes> that sounded bad |
#8466 (34/234) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<helminthes> hey i had a vision today of some fat old man with a dog sitting on campus and he goes, "hey, pet my dog" and i say, "heh no thanks i gotta go to class." "but the dog's cute, look at him." "no man, see ya" "DOG HATER!!! DOG HATER!! HE JUST HIT MY DOG IN THE FACE" {i run away} |
#8465 (135/285) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<undrewb> I'm gonna make my thesis opensource so developers all round the world can work on it for me |
#8464 (29/205) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<jamesm> what's a java strategy?
<undrewb> jamesm : its a paradigm shift to e-leverage your legacy OLTP system to implement pervasive business systems
<jamesm> is it like a builder with a 'brick strategy' ? |
#8463 (49/299) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Ryk> after the man has shot his wad is the perfect time for the woman to vacate the room and quietly catch up on a bit of beaver bashing in the privacy of the kitchen.
<Tippytoes> shouldn't she have a satisfied afterglow?
<Ryk> she can glow when my dinner's ready. |
#8462 (1/235) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Rafeil> wimberly!
<Rafeil> wesely wimberly. the joke was if kim married him her name would be kimberly wimberly |
#8461 (-1/217) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mandi> kaff still looking at dicks?
<Kaff> nah sharks
<Mandi> same diff
<jamesn> cocks with teef
<Kaff> yeah they all make you bleed in the end |
#8458 (58/263) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Punk-In-Drublic> THE FOLLOWING PEOPLE SUCK COCK ...Mousey, Dave, Vas, Belindah..........YALL CAN GAT FUCKED COS IM DRUNK WOOOOOOOOO ......BOOBIES WOOOOOOOOOO'
<Mousey> why am i first
<Mousey> thats really insulting
<vas-deferens> because your the best at iut
<mk4> why am i second ?
<vas-deferens> shit im third
<vas-deferens> i better work on my technique
<vas-deferens> at least im beating a chick
<Mousey> hahahah |
#8457 (218/360) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<thrase> i hate programming
<thrase> why couldn't i be a rock star
<undrewb> cause you have the charisma of a programmer
* Mandi chortles
<undrewb> and the programming skills of a rockstar :) |
#8455 (4/232) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Pat> i had to go to hospital after because of complications
<Bleve> Pat was very complicated, they removed his arsehole by mistake
<Mandi> heh
<Bru> what's that in the middle of his face then?? |
#8454 (0/220) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<helminthes> throw caution to the wind and then piss right into it |
#8453 (13/305) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Dac> ok, what does 'LUG' on a rental property listing mean?
<tm> Lots of Ugly Guys |
#8452 (0/231) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mousey> haha quarter chicken from mcdonalds
<mk4> whats quarter chicken ?
<mk4> like a quater pounder ?
<Punk-In-Drublic> well its not quiet a halfd of a chicken dave |
#8451 (69/216) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tippytoes> somewhere in the world, there has to be some chicks that ride motorbikes who are tomboys who also do x-stitch
<sisko> probably
<sisko> that's what women's correctional facilities are for |
#8450 (107/250) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Tippytoes> i got a cute winnie the pooh keyring for my bike today
<Tippytoes> he's cuddling piglet
<undrewb> aww thats nice
<undrewb> uh
<undrewb> thats not cuddling
<Tippytoes> or slipping him the pork sword
<Tippytoes> oh well
<undrewb> THATS ILLEGAL IN TASMANIA
<Tippytoes> piglet's happy
<Tippytoes> he's smiling
<jamesn> piglet is a bitch
<Tippytoes> or it could be a wince |
#8449 (7/243) ↑Good ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<undrewb> you know max, while the paralympics were very inspiring, you shouldnt let them delude you into thihnking all retards can achieve the impossible :) |
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