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#11117 (46/282) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss
<@puto|^_...> then my fucking shorts snuck out of my reach
<@puto|^_...> and fuckign snapped my penis up while pissing
<@puto|^_...> fuckign pissed everywhere and on myself |
#11116 (43/301) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< cygnus` > this girl broke up with me once
< cygnus` > becuase i was sucking her tit
< cygnus` > and i said it was to try and get milk to come out
< cygnus` > and i started laughing like a retard |
#11115 (2/384) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@brosie > you know what sucks
<@brosie > when you shave your ballsack
<@brosie > and then get diarrhea
<@brosie > and some of the poo gets in a cut you didn't know was there
<@brosie > and you get gangrene
<@brosie > in your nuts |
#11113 (-1/331) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Vectro0n> Stupid is just clogging up your eyes..>.o
<Vectro0n> Hm...Should I attack this dolt...? |
#11112 (-1/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pres589> Chuffy, were you there?
<ChuffyCow> pres589: yeah man
<ChuffyCow> pres589: I was there
<pres589> ChuffyCow: oh man, Charlie was everywhere, in the trees, talking about Richard Stallman, it was visious
<pres589> or was that a LUG meeting I went to
<pres589> same thing, it was fucked up
<ChuffyCow> I don't remember
<ChuffyCow> but we killed 'em all
<pres589> fuck yeah we did
<ChuffyCow> every last one of those GNUook motherfuckers
<pres589> LOL |
#11111 (5/210) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Pixie_Pete): Care to join me in a little sven co-op?
* ssmmdd fires up Sven
(Dogsdinner): That's quite possibly the most homoerotic thing ever said in #TPNGC. |
#11110 (125/273) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Gopher): my brother has bound F7 to say...
* Gopher wanks |
#11101 (43/249) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(+AeroBob): Ooh! New saying. "A Werthers Original is like anal sex..."
(@Pixie|3554Y): They're both given by grandad? :O
(+AeroBob): And, of course, both are best served hard. |
#11098 (22/266) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<S-Kicker> brb, gotta feed the dog
<S-Kicker> sum 31337 K1BB13Z N B175 |
#11097 (0/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
(Louhi): mind u, I'm called "whats wrong with Cock teasers?"
(Pixie_Pete): Are they like malteasers?
* Waller buys a box of Cock teasers for Mother's Day as his mother's present |
#11096 (-2/402) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<berns> if there's gonna be a party in anyone's throat it should be
your hoe's you know what i'm saying |
#11095 (86/258) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<herk> wait'll i put out my hip hop album
<chrissyb0> i can see it now
<chrissyb0> "Im herschel i get all the bitches i want, i can make a
webpage with any font |
#11094 (77/235) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<magoo> herk knows all about liquid saftey
<herkit> i know where to buy new keyboards |
#11087 (-2/347) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Raize> http://www.geekissues.org/quotes/?top
<Raize> I got quoted in the top 50 IRC quotes of all time
<jaguar> !quote
<jaguar> !add quote
<jaguar> how do u add! |
#11085 (132/319) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<MissTika> how have you been?
<Sage> Good, good. And you?
<MissTika> oksy I guess, had a falling out with two of my " best" friends but other then that heh
<Ne0_Rat> Tika has been arguing with her boobs again. |
#11083 (120/277) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SporkPrez> largo, whats it like being net-famous?
<asr> whats net-famous?
<largo[mt]> net-famous is when you get the all drawbacks of having computer geek fans who know about you, without any of the benefits.
<asr> like groupies?
<largo[mt]> no, you get those, but the rank smell takes awhile to get used to.
<SporkPrez> like when you mix bleach and ammonia?
<largo[mt]> I wish it were that pleasant. |
#11074 (52/278) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Wi|d-Ride> I'm madder than a 3 legged dog trying to hide a turd on a frozen pond. |
#11073 (158/337) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SpunOne> To The Taliban:
<SpunOne> Give US Osama Bin Laden or we'll send your women to college.
<nersh> To the US:
<nersh> Leave us alone or we, the Taliban authorities would not hesitate to cut off America's supply of convenience store managers. |
#11068 (140/297) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zarzig> If i had a cup of liquid nitrogen right now, i would drink it.
<Zarzig> Granted my stomach would solidify and i would die in a matter of seconds...
<Zarzig> but at least my underwear woulden't be so sweaty... |
#11067 (-2/262) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<CrazyLich> GET IN MAH PANTS
<_Mantis_> ok
<_Mantis_> but get out of my parking spot
<_Mantis_> I dont care if its "your corner" |
#11066 (35/273) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
InVerSeX: I scanned my penis in a flatbed scanner once.
The Spunn: did it hurt?
InVerSeX: No, I didn't close the lid.
InVerSeX: It was only a 14" scanner.
The Spunn: Ah, so you couldn't scan the whole thing.
InVerSeX: Exactly.
The Spunn: I had to fold mine in half to fit it all on the 14" scanner, that's the part that hurt the most.
InVerSeX: Well, I scanned mine limp and then used photoshop to get a stiffy. |
#11064 (-1/213) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<SoundGarD> oh man. my balls are hanging really low and my ass itches .. is this a sign of something?
<_SnakeMan> you're gay.
<SoundGarD> fuck
<Peccavi> SoundGarD: It's a sign of Itchyassdanglyball syndrome, Go to a hospital right away!
<_SnakeMan> you're ass needs some loving. and you're balls are trying to help. |
#11061 (-1/280) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Fustard> i dont understand this commercial
<Fustard> "SOBE YOURSELF"
<Fustard> WHY WONT THE GOD DAMN DOOR OPEN
<Josho> because that guy was in sandlot
<Josho> and his career sucks so much even cold storage doors won't open for him |
#11053 (3/229) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<L33t_Hax0r[no_job]> hey, i (illegdibly) wrote a pretty damn good essay in class today, with no grammarical/spelling errors to be seen
<Mr_X> CHOKE ON YOUR LIES
<L33t_Hax0r[no_job]> Mr_X : when i type i fucking spell and wahtever all fucking bad cuz i dont give a fuck'
<Mr_X> ... |
#11050 (40/249) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zuwadza> "When all you've got is a penis, everything looks like an anus." - Japanese proverb |
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