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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..405406407408409410411..596Next> |
#11173 (180/318) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<tek231> you guys hear about that lady who layed down on some subway tracks, then the train hit her
<tek231> she sued and won 10 million
<Mysteri0> tek231: The train hit her and she's not a blood sprinkler?
<Cap0ne_> did she lose any body parts?
<pac> Damn.
<tek231> I'm not sure, just caught the end of the story
<tek231> on tv, let me see if I can find it
<Knighted> tek231: You hear about that guy who tried to convey news on irc without a url? |
#11171 (4/202) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<pupkick> i just did my first mouthrinse with the shit i was prescribed.. i've been putting it off because i was worrying about pain like i get with scope and shit.. it was hella easy.. almost even tasted good.. now i can only blame myself for infections and extra swelling =/
<blitzoid> pupkick: You knew the risks when you became a gigalo. |
#11170 (66/242) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<niles> i just baught this kick ass afgan rug downtown
<niles> it has landmines, pistols and attack helicopters |
#11169 (238/408) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<klerck> I've been wearing my immortality bracelet for a month, and I haven't died yet |
#11168 (68/229) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<ScumDog> I'm gonna descend into the popup hell of astalavista.com
<ScumDog> wish me luck
<R0SC0E> <scum's mom> what's this bang bus all about |
#11166 (112/252) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<TekMounty> I think I'll have to go to a confessions, at the adaptive technologies expo, there was a 19 inch lcd screen just sitting there, I though to myself "If I ran out with this none of these disabled people could catch me" |
#11164 (87/245) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Helm-work> *sigh* ..i dont know what gets into me sometimes.. I get this "hey, my password says it expires today and i need to change it" "what do i change it to"? .... im like "how about tea-bagger"? "thats a good one" .. the accountant is like "yeah! easy to remember too" |
#11160 (-1/277) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<EazyCheez> I wonder if I can't unplug my 3 1/2"'s interface cable and use that with my old CD-ROM (Samsung)
<RvLeshrac> EazyCheez: No
<pupkick> samsung is radio shack for people with mental handicaps
<EazyCheez> RvLeshrac: I can't unplug my floppy disk drive's interface cable and put it into my CD-ROM?
<thrash-> EazyCheez: Try it... it won't fit.
<feerit> EazyCheez: notice they arent the same pinout |
#11159 (-5/231) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Knighted> korosu: Nah, next month we'll get 9/11-themed Jenga |
#11158 (28/198) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-|Darky|ZzZ- Repeat Flood Detected Please do not repeat in #pack (Last & Only Warning)
<|Darky|ZzZ> princess: Please do not repeat in #pack
<princess> ack! not again! :(
* princess says again, i am no fl00der (
<princess> :(
<apekatt> that's just a sign that says you need to expand your vocabulary
<apekatt> hehe |
#11154 (8/186) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tridon> hate cold water
* Tridon left the shower in a huff!
<Iksion> tridon ah your willy has shrinked in cold water?
<Tridon> this morning I had to talk him down, just so that I could take a piss... Now he's not even there any longer |
#11153 (111/281) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jon^> i live in the UK
<fReCkLeS> where's that
<jon^> next to France
<fReCkLeS> okay |
#11150 (-1/269) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Hippie316> its HQ real media
<Hippie316> that has to be like an oxymoron for the internet |
#11148 (186/340) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
Meredy31: Hackers is just the coolest movie :)
Rann XXV: Indeed. n.n But only if you're not an actual hacker. But that's okay, because those people deserve to be annoyed. ^^
Rann XXV: A little payback for every system crash and virus-eaten file is in each hacker's scream of "DAMMIT IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" |
#11146 (5/207) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<spoob> drewb; it's been so long since I've had my cock sucked that I'm not sure it can handle less than one atmosphere anymore |
#11145 (167/313) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<choconado> aggh...horrible no cut and paste in mirc :(
<Saber> yes there is
<Saber> by selecting the text it's automatically copied to your clipboard
<Saber> you need to select from left to right
<choconado> my version doesn't do that...it puts up a finger icon
<choconado> oh wait...
<choconado> dude...i've had mirc for two and a half fucking years, and i learn this NOW?!? |
#11141 (38/182) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<mjvh> stupid loose ethernet connection.
<Turbonutter> ducktape
<Turbonutter> ducktape is the answer to all life's problems
<Turbonutter> like beer. except ducktape rarely causes them in the first place.
<zx64> ducktape is merely a physical manifestation of regexps
<Turbonutter> it can do anything but is a pain in the arse to use? |
#11139 (101/225) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<JigglyHandle> Who's the cockless drunk running my ISP?!
<K-Ecchi> You called? |
#11138 (169/320) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<t_SaBeR_t> Does your Army of Darkness have a dental plan? |
#11137 (114/268) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Christoph> Wuff will you tell Sara I'm not talking to her? -.- <turns>
<Wuffypie> Sara, I'm to tell you something that you just heard Mind say anyway |
#11132 (163/305) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tarage> I hate to update to things, they always make it worse
<@Ixnorp> you're too pessimistic. I bet that if you jumped off a building
you would expect to land in a truck full of pillows
<anorexic_poodle> wouldnt that make it optimistic
<@Ixnorp> no, because he would have failed to kill himself |
#11130 (216/431) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<InvalidUser> Its like my Uncle Eric used to say, he'd say... "IU, lookit
the ass on that guy" To which I'd reply, "I'm not gay Eric", and he'd say
"Oh yeah, sorry bout that" and we'd laugh and laugh. Then he'd try to
molest me. |
#11125 (-1/325) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Shadow> I imagine SSJ3 Goku could kill someone with his pinky
<Wolfvain> Shadow, Goku at SSJ3 sould kill some one just by spooging at them. |
#11123 (160/386) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Spike> You know what I want to do? I want to go on eBay and buy all the
souvenier pieces of the Berlin wall, then reconstruct it along the Mexican border |
#11122 (194/361) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Super_User_2> the very first time I practiced driving I scared the shit
out of my dad. It was a manual transmission truck. I had it in first and
tired to shift, but the timing on the clutch was fucked up and it just
spun, but the pedal was lighter then I thought and I floored it. The
truck sounded like it was doing 90 and my nervous laugh sounded maniacal.
He just screamed "NOOOOOOOOOO!" as we moved about 1/2 mile an hour...
he drove home. |
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