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TodayLatestBestTopWorst1337Random<Prev1..404405406407408409410..596Next> |
#11217 (-3/271) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Drezdar> nah I'm not racist - but I am fully against paying for some foreign fuckface to teach me when I can't figure out what the Habib is saying.
<@Path> ! |
#11216 (-1/339) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Phonoflux> So I was watching TV last night
<Phonoflux> and my mom
<Phonoflux> she lent over and opened her legs
<cuebol> and I climbed out |
#11215 (108/274) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@Drezdar> !google teen pregnancy crisis hotline
<@Drezdar> Heh, don't ask. |
#11214 (29/217) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Meat_PoPs> what a guy, jumps all over you then falls asleep
* Meat_PoPs shakes his head
<Mog> thats what most men would do
<Meat_PoPs> hehe
<Mog> pretend to fall asleep, plus women have a naturaly built in pillow for us
<Coan_Arcanius> hehe
<Meat_PoPs> mmm they are cushy |
#11212 (26/260) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<arckbar> I was putting in a new sound card, and I accidently ejaculated all over the inside my computer. Now my computer won't turn on. Any advice on what I should do?
<arckbar> Basically I blanked, I was putting in the card, and when I came to, there was cum all inside the machine, and my computer wouldn't work |
#11211 (114/253) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Kitsa> dammit I hate my hotmail account
<Kitsa> I HAD 413 SPAM E-MAILS
<Kitsa> since 2:00 this morning
<Kitsa> according to them, I can make money sitting on my ass
<Kitsa> while fucking Britney Spears and taking human growth hormone |
#11208 (119/303) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mr_Evets> I wonder what would happen if I were to eat some Brine Shrimp
<Mr_Evets> I wonder if they'd mix with the semen in my stomach and create a seaciety
<Sabrejack> yes. they would.
<Mr_Evets> Would they build statues of me and worship me?
<Mr_Evets> Then the other half build statues of something else, worship it
<Mr_Evets> and start suicide bombing each other??
<Sabrejack> quite likely.
<Mr_Evets> Excellent
<Mr_Evets> Because I already ate the brine shimp |
#11206 (135/294) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<fm> they say if you do the same thing over and over again .. you'll get sick of it. I've been cutting school for more days then I can count and I'm not sick of it yet |
#11204 (-2/200) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
electo435: what time do you think this will all go down?
boozehound420: after sex
electro435: so like next week sometime |
#11203 (18/250) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<GenOberst> I had to mule kick out, and grab his foot to reverse it
<GenOberst> bent his big toe outwards away from the foot...
<Tac0> oh nothing compared to my day, I flew an F-16 across the DMZ for kicks, resuerected Bruce Lee then killed him again with my bare hand (one tied behind my back), then after that i proceeded to sleep with 20 supermodels at the same time, and to top it off i bitch-slapped the pope |
#11200 (-2/301) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Atarax> Canada is the USA's largest national park |
#11197 (-1/343) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Jubei301> Luke was complaining about being at the theater, and these guys one row back were having a very stupid conversation about whether or not styling their pubes a good idea... I think theyre just trying to impress their boyfriends, seeing as pubes would be at eye level for them... |
#11196 (82/248) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[OsP]Magus> Awesome, my font is back to normal
<[OsP]Magus> Okay, this is getting to be nifty
<[OsP]Magus> Only things that'll still take some getting used to are the channels on the bottom, and in alphabetical order
<Crazy-Man-Dan> lol
<Crazy-Man-Dan> Geek alert
<Crazy-Man-Dan> Magus redecorated IRC |
#11194 (105/243) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
*** SpeedySavant is now known as Savant
<Shadow|AFK> faster than a speeding bullet!
<Shadow|AFK> more powerful than a locomotive!
*** Savant (somewhere@385a42df.18d12617.ed.shawcable.net) Quit (Ping timeout)
<Baralu> Ironic :)
<Shadow|AFK> alright a slow locomotive |
#11189 (-4/376) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bertle> i smell gay |
#11188 (-1/315) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
knickslover3333: yea reading this was the biggest waste of time in my entire life, this overachieving sack of shit makes me want to vomit blood all over his face |
#11185 (177/347) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<[AFT]^Kempi> what really got her mad was....
<[AFT]^Kempi> when i was burning a CD and got up from sex 1/2 way through and changed the cd
<[AFT]^Kempi> she didn't talk to me for a while |
#11184 (124/258) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<LordViper> Atarax: in all honestly, we don't care what you do in your spare time, however if it has entertainment value, we like to hear it |
#11183 (-2/245) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Mbeta> if i were going to break up with a girl who i had grown to hate
<Mbeta> i would rub poison ivy in the crotch area of all her panties
<MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> better yet
<MP|Pooty`Shocksbitch> herpies
<Mbeta> yea, where am i gonna get herpes?
<chibi> pooty can give you herpes
<Mbeta> everyone already has herpes in NY
<Mbeta> come on now.
<Mbeta> that's like saying
<Mbeta> if i had aids i would run around in africa touching everyone |
#11181 (206/362) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<bean2edu>Try seeding the RNG with the current system time, that should help somewhat
<kram>You do know that the numbers generated are still pseudo-random, and not true RNs. In fact there is no way to generate true random numbers.
<bean2edu>Obviously you've never had your wife balance the checkbook. |
#11179 (132/284) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<drastic> anyone know of a program that would display free hd space for multiple drives on the desktop or something?
<ninth> drastic: you could write down how much space is free on a piece of paper.. then scan it.. and set it as your wallpaper |
#11178 (120/272) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<niles> If you use that logic, then using a completely open and unsecured network would be ok if you sealed the computer in a locked metal box, since it would deter physical attacks by baseball bats (ALL attacks are of equal value, right?). Or you could say that adding the line "WWJD" to the telnet login prompt would be a valid defense since it would lower the instance of attacks by Christians by 80%. |
#11177 (127/303) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<Gav3in> I've been in Taipei though, and holy shit does it have a big chinatown |
#11176 (63/279) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<IronCurtain> I can talk to two people on the internet at the same time
<Shoryu> DAMN D00D your l337 |
#11174 (136/282) ↑Funny ↓Bad ⚐Flag
<@BitStream> well, I moved the couch down stairs
<@BitStream> so the new one can be put where the old one was
<helixblue> against the wall?
<@BitStream> yea
<helixblue> ahh.. I was hoping that sound was you cleaning the dishes
<helixblue> I ate my cereal for breakfast with measuring cups this morning.
<@BitStream> I was trying to get rid of as much stuff as possible before work, so thats less to do when I get back :/
<@BitStream> helixblue: did you look in the right cabinet
<@BitStream> there were bowls in there yesterday
<helixblue> bits: I used the measuring cups as spoons |
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