QDB: Latest Approved Quotes
About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search

#301229 (22/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< MacForker> Arg, my family is weird.
< MacForker> They just argued with me you can't serve pork medium.
< tonyola> conventional wisdom is that pork should be thoroughly cooked
< MacForker> Sure, 20 years ago
< CuriosTiger> Conventional wisdom is that pork from 20 years ago should not be eaten :P
#299720 (16/38) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<+anosou> You're like the best man around
<+anosou> If there was a god of some kind, he'd be proud to have made you
<+anosou> If internet was full of women (which it is not) they would sleep with you
<+anosou> If zircon says something is S-tier, you say it isn't
<+anosou> If you were black, the southeners would still like you
<+anosou> If you moved to Japan, you'd become tentacle pope of the world
Comment: #ocremix
#190368 (13/57) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<nikki> what's sodomy..?
<hunter> HA! Gather 'round children,
<hunter> well -- the word is dervied from the cities Sodom and Gomorrah
<nikki> k.. wat?
<sparky546> basically, the cities god ass raped.
<hunter> yeah! exactly! wikipedia explains it all.
#310634 (1/9) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Zyradyl> So I've started working on an AI just as a side project. I want to re-hone my Common Lisp knowledge. It has been years.
<cjk> what kind of ai
<Zyradyl> conversational, might do more as time permits
<asaph> You do realize, back when you were a dude, and pry, you had a strong stance against conversational AI?
<Zyradyl> Don't worry, I put a noose around my neck whenever I start hacking at it, just in the event that something goes horribly wrong or I realize I'm a fucking moron.
<Lutmus> Zyra: Sounds like you're already an experienced neural network programmer.
#306165 (35/71) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<rush> where I come from we measure the hotness of a chick by using a scale which is determined by the number of days she could go without a shower and you'd still stick your tongue in her ass, and she's an 8
#300984 (14/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sancdar> i knew a guy named ace fabionaire or something like that, he had two brothers and a sister - king, jack, and queen
<Sancdar> good thing his parents stopped or they'd have a hard time
<Fax> well, they didn't
<Fax> but they aborted it into a royal flush.
#311340 (13/23) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<sami> I sent out a memo about proper meme usage
<sami> if they had any questions to contact me, but if I catch them misusing memes then they have to do CSS
<amy> fate worse than cyber jail
#311160 (24/28) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<oclet> i used to drink at work
<oclet> it was pretty sweet
<vorstyles> Then you tucked in your shirt, and became the man.
<oclet> bro
<oclet> i do not tuck in my shirt for anyone
<oclet> my wife told me to tuck in my shirt on our wedding day and i slapped the shit out of her
<hep> im telling her you said that
<oclet> plz dont
#311156 (13/25) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<AppleDash> I have accidentally racially segregated my old computers
#308208 (28/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Sebas> I typed "aO" and sat wondering why it didn't turn into an @ for at least five seconds
<Sebas> I should probably sleep
#305796 (28/48) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Bunsen> Imagine a twinkie represents the normal amount of Murphy's Law activity at a nuclear power plant.
<Bunsen> Based on the current situation at Fukushima No. 1, their Twinkie is about thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.
#305792 (30/46) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
#302982 (15/29) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
-!- dastoob [~dastoob@...] has quit [Remote host closed the connection]
< shortcircuit> dastoob is about to get a lot smarter; I just retrieved the missing parts of his memory a few minutes ago. He's coming back up.
< shortcircuit> Oh, wow. His resident memory is up to 943M and still climbing.
-!- dastoob [~dastoob@...] has joined #grlug
< brousch> dastoob die
< shortcircuit> Stabilized at 1000M virt, 972M resident.
< dastoob> haz like.. 13 f utah..
< shortcircuit> I'm sorry, did I say 'smarter'? O.o
< brousch> he is smarter! now he uses leetspeak!
* shortcircuit wonders if he can purge parts of the data set.
< shortcircuit> Yeah, looks like I can.
-!- dastoob [~dastoob@...] has quit [Remote host closed the connection]
-!- dastoob [~dastoob@...] has joined #grlug
< shortcircuit> dastoob: Feeling smarter?
< dastoob> am reading the Wealth of Nations.. It's quiet?..
< shortcircuit> I think that's a Yes.
#310750 (4/8) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Tuplanolla> This might be a silly question, but could there be a substitute for seq?
<jmcarthur> Tuplanolla: substitute seq how?
<Tuplanolla> Perhaps another mechanism to control strictness locally.
<jmcarthur> what do you mean?
<monochrom> $! is a substitute for seq
<jmcarthur> do you have something specific in mind?
<monochrom> "data X = !Int" is a substitue for seq
<Tuplanolla> No. I was thinking about other languages.
<monochrom> err, "data X = Ctor !Int"
<monochrom> Haskell is a substitute for other languages
Comment: #haskell
#307117 (38/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Q-Stone> woot now I have 2.5 GB of space on Dropbox!
* BadMojo starts downloading Q-Stone's stuff from Dropbox. Man, nothing but horse porn.
<Q-Stone> Encrypted horse porn!
<BadMojo> If it was encrypted, how would I know what it is?
<Q-Stone> By the file name: horseporn12.enc
<Switchbreak> badmojo knows an encrypted horse when he sees one
<Switchbreak> just has to glance at the data
<Q-Stone> He can tell from the bits
<BadMojo> It's like the matrix.
<Q-Stone> He doesn't even see the code anymore, just Arabian, Clydesdale, Quarter
Comment: #gwj on quakenet
#306023 (35/57) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
< Obtuse> so the captain says live tesla coils at noon?
<@masterofmonks> That sounds like an odd choice of dueling weapons.
Comment: #thegeekgroup on irc.freenode.net
#310861 (17/19) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<jacquilyn> Eh. Being kicked out of the lab.
<Agent_Orange> wear pants next time. They like that
<Leth> agt: but the sign only reads "No Shirts, No Shoes, No Service." Pants aren't ever mentioned
<Agent_Orange> leth: I've tried that argument many times and it *usually* ends in bitter disappointment
#306389 (15/37) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<@Furah> my ex sent a text that was meant to make me think of her, but instead I thought of alcohol
#303121 (26/38) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<D--> Haiku OS is so fast, it makes me feel like I'm using a computer in 1990 instead of 2010.
<hcs> that's what you get when the developers have the discipline to write each subroutine in exactly 17 instructions
Comment: #zophar @ espernet
#311255 (60/64) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Proview> i've got this code that's doing some statistical analysis and its telling me there are 8 days in a week
#310650 (10/20) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Orobas>  oh. Builder. I did the bird math, I don't know if I told you
<Builder>  You didn't. However, you seem amazingly eager to share your findings.
<Orobas>  It gives you an idea of how good I am at math. Because the answer I got was between 80 and 3.8 billion pigeons per second
<Builder>  It doesn't really give me an idea of how good you are at math.
<Orobas>  I am content either way
#309529 (23/39) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<oohy9n> I moved a server from one data center to another, and some guy updated wordpress, after which some of his image hyperlinks got broken
<oohy9n> he emailed me and was like "When you moved, did you by any chance forget the images in the moving van?"
#309035 (36/52) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<steelerman82> What does the vile sword do?
<mrgreaper|game> you hold the blunt end and put the pointy end into an enemy (repeat as needed)
#300277 (36/54) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Horrorfusion> i have just seen one of the worst things
<Horrorfusion> i go to tell my roommate something and i hear him making kind of a weird noise and his door is open so i knock and enter
<Horrorfusion> the motherfucker is laying on his bed holding his legs above his head, butt naked, and his balls are facing right into his bedside fan and he looks like he is in massive pain
<Horrorfusion> i yell "WHAT THE FUCK DUDE" and he freaks out
<Horrorfusion> about 5 minutes ago he comes into my room still in pain and explains that he got that icey hot stuff on his balls when he rubbing it into his calf
<Horrorfusion> and the cold air helped the pain
<Horrorfusion> good times in the hybridfusion household
Comment: #cobol
#307245 (19/63) ↑Funny ↓Awful ⚐Flag
<Lastair> japanese cosmo
<Lastair> 10 hot sex tips!
<Lastair> tips 1-10: whimper like you're being raped
save page | share <Prev123456..587Next>

About / Browse / Latest / Random / Queue / Prefs / Submit Quote / Search
14,575 quotes approved; 9,472 fermenting; karma: 190.7935