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#310769 (19/35) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Taisa> Hey Dan would it be creepy and/or manipulative to try and hit up my ex around the time her menstrual cycle normally clocks at "hornier than usual" or is that just me doing what nature expects me to do
<Rapestove> that sounds like both
<Dan_Maku> Well given you know about it and have tipped your hand towards using it, the former
<Doktor_Q> Those two aren't mutually exclusive at all
<Dan_Maku> Also that
<Dan_Maku> If you're horny just be honest with her about it
<Dan_Maku> ...And maybe don't mention that you keep tabs on her fucking menstural cycle
<Doktor_Q> Nature half expects you to kill your competition's children, this is considered a bad thing today
<Ursarkar_E_Creed> Social Minmaxing and sociopathy go hand in hand
<Taisa> I do like minmaxing...
#310609 (1/37) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* Jigsy frantically runs into the channel with an urgent message.
<Jigsy> The anorgasmic are comin- wait, wait, sorry, false alarm. They're not.
#310437 (22/46) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<TheBadSpoon> I had a dream last night that someone took control of my computer through a security exploit in mIRC because I never update it
#304836 (24/58) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<BlueVortex> Why doesn't bread respawn when you eat it?
<Advocate> Mine does. You're probably doing it wrong.
#300933 (29/81) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< John_D_Home> Sean M is sick, I'm on the phone with (a client), and everyone else doesn't come in for a while
< John_D_Home> Kristoff is in fact our only hope
< cputans> he seems like the perfect person to put your hope in
< cputans> yeap
#299883 (25/47) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
ftmysally: I can not send email at all
ctnpinciotti: Go into your account settings and set your imap one to default.
ftmysally: my imap account is my default
ctnpinciotti: What happens when you try to send?
ftmysally: nothing unless I press send and receive
ctnpinciotti: So what happens when you do that...
ftmysally: it sends
ctnpinciotti: so...
ftmysally: never mind
#309382 (95/133) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Zor> what kind of resource would it make sense to find underwater
<gmcabrita> water
#302887 (-4/58) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<DrSunglass> Hmmm, what does the >%< emoticon stand for?
<kamakazi> ...seimese pacman?
#301243 (29/97) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
[nickeax] If you could be any monarch, which would you choose?
[Hex] batman
[robzy] batman
#238479 (35/73) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Proe2> there's this girl at work who is pretty hot
<Mirchar> oh really?
<Proe2> yeah, but ive found it really hard to initiate anything
<Mirchar> you need to get in there before someone else does
<Proe2> well the other day i thought i better man up and do something, i wasn't just gonna let this one slip by, she seems like a really nice girl, so i plucked up the courage and made my move
<Mirchar> and?
<Proe2> She hasn't poked back yet
#306611 (-6/82) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Guen> My comp is dying
<cshake> it clearly needs mouth to mouth
<Guen> It's beyond that
<cshake> ass to mouth?
#305335 (17/69) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
-!- sycobuny[telnet] [~sycobuny@cloak.hsd1.md.comcast.net] has joined #malkier
< sycobuny[telnet]> hi
< sycobuny[telnet]> it turns out there are no irc clients installed on larry's machine
< sycobuny[telnet]> typing the raw IRC still works though!
#304880 (20/70) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<wethrin> We use tcsh by default at the university
<wethrin> I'm not sure why, other than to discourage the use of the Unix systems
#300090 (33/73) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<cpltn> how should i calculate if i got a picture that is 26530 x 8923 and i want to scale it down proportionally?
<OnErr0r> um.. math?
#311113 (-3/65) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<case> it was a sad day when i realized i should solve a problem with a factory
<case> i have become what i hate
<kid_icarus> rip
<kid_icarus> AbstractDelegateFactoryBeanBeanRipRipRip
<mischa> lol
<ispillmydrink> AbstractDelegateFactoryBeanBeanRipRipFactoryPoolFactory
<master_p> You gotta have dependency injection in there
<master_p> BeanPoolFactory.newBeanPool(FactoryRegistry.inject(new BeanPoolFactoryReigistryContext()))
<master_p> Unreadable isn't good enough
<master_p> Gotta be untestable as well
#310643 (-8/62) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<dylan> i just got an amazing idea
<dylan> make a tea that is healthy for you
<dylan> call it Vitamin T
<dylan> get it?
<feti> This is going to be a slow day.
Comment: EFnet/#php
#308504 (14/78) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<@Pants> Hey Grue, so I figured out what was wrong with my chainsaw
<@Grue> Ja?
<@Pants> It turns out it has an on/off switch.
<@Grue> `lart Pants
BrainBleach brings in Charles Darwin and the Chainsaw of Natural Selection to have a go at Pants
<@Grue> More apropos, BrainBleach cannot become.
#305561 (24/64) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<xved> proteins are the most important thing that lets complex cellular things work
<xved> and there are so many and they all can do different interesting things...
<@Rorschach> Can they dance?
<xved> certainly
<xved> some of them can zip DNA too
<xved> where would DNA be without proteins? its fly would be undone!
<@Rorschach> Yes, one needs to keep one's genes zipped
#303649 (43/81) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Camille> I love my new job
<+ericc> where d'you work?
<Camille> it's a small coffee shop. doesn't pay much, but nearly everyone there is a gamer or irc'er.
<+ericc> nice
<Camille> yeah, we got busy around 1pm and it was loud cos of people chatting
<Camille> so one of the guys there shouted out "now I know how those marines feel when I hit them with a zerg rush"
<+ericc> hahaha awesome
<Camille> the manager heard him and frowned, I thought he was gonna yell at him for talking like that in front of customers
<Camille> and he just replied "man the bunkers and bring out the siege tanks!"
#311097 (169/189) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<photo> i poured my root beer into a square cup and now all i have is beer. please advise.
#310731 (13/105) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<asaph> So you're over a year and a half into your transition?
<Zyradyl> Yup.
<cjk> Okay so since you've been on both hormonal sides, is there any major difference between the two
<Zyradyl> 89.9% of the time no, except I do have to deal with some unwanted attention, which probably contributes to the 10.1% of the time.
<cjk> whats that
<Zyradyl> Well. Okay. If you had asked me what 2+2 equaled on a bad day where I was testosterone heavy, You would have gotten a "Four, You fucking muppet" and at the absolute worst, a punch in the face.
<Zyradyl> Do the same thing to me now, and I'm going to spend 30 minutes reducing you to feeling absolutely worthless, then say "Four you fucking muppet" and slap you.
<asaph> Holy shit.
<Zyradyl> I don't want to hit people as much. However, I want to make them cry so much more than before. Which i guess means 2+2 equals four, and a whole bunch of unresolved emotional issues.
#310381 (-11/49) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< mcpherrin> dylster3: You can write rust that crashes the compiler pretty easy
< mcpherrin> It's really just the worst form of error message :p
< Sharp> mcpherrin: Well, it's not as easy as it used to be, to be fair :)
< mcpherrin> Sharp: the thing is that as you get better at rust, you write more well formed code and so crash the compiler less ;)
< mcpherrin> so it always seems to be getting better!
#309461 (60/90) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
* strcat just has to figure out how to integrate it into the build process :)
<cmr> good luck
<cmr> those makefiles look like small animals could get lost and die in them
#307007 (51/89) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
< Neoinr> Bust a move
< Bucket> mo  ve
#311257 (48/100) ↑Funny ↓Unfunny ⚐Flag
<Nomikos> basically I don't eat anything which has had a face on it at some point
<edf> what if we could breed faceless cows, Nomikos?
<Nomikos> how would they eat?
<edf> tubes
<edf> high-pressure mush injected straight into their digestive stuff
<Nomikos> this is a "how many parts of a cow do you have to remove to make it stop being a cow" isn't it
<edf> no
<edf> just the face
<Nomikos> just genetic-engineer some trees to grow burgers
<edf> what if the trees grow faces?
<Nomikos> ...
<Nomikos> hence "basically" :-p
<Nomikos> faces implying brains implying consciousness
<edf> oh
<edf> duh
<edf> then just tranquilise them from birth, keeping them perpetually unconscious
<Nomikos> you are not allowed on the committee of ethics :|
<edf> aw :(
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